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Why I Want a Wife
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.
And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals,serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my when I need a rest and change of scene. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.
I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my quests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.
I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.
My God, who wouldn't want a wife?
Judy Syfers (1971)
***
37 years later, do you still want a wife?
Last edited by ManyAntsDefeatSpiders; 2nd May 2008 at 13:59. Reason: fixed up paragraphs
Moved to Chit-Chat.
Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else ever cared.
Excuse me?
This is a satirical article attacking the patriarchal double standards of society, and the role of women as house-keepers and domestic servants for husbands.
Then I asked the serious question regarding how much had changed in 37 years.
You think that anti-patriarchal articles are chit-chat quality?
Despite the form of the article, I want serious responses.
Or I would have posted it in chit-chat.
I'm moving this back to discrimination because this is a serious topic presented in whats quiet obviously meant to be social commentary not 'chit chat.' Especially since chit chat is now a usergroup, and this is clearly relevant and insightful to social discrimination.
Last edited by TC; 2nd May 2008 at 23:00.
☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮
It remnds me how some families that I know would protest their sons studying shitty degrees like psychology or philosophy while they wouldn't mind their daughters pursuing them because obviously they would get "married".
Formerly dada
[URL="https://gemeinwesen.wordpress.com/"species being[/URL] - A magazine of communist polemic
I think the article is excellent, it highlights how gender inequality isn't the result of some abstract 'sexism' or 'old boys network' but unequal relations in the family which are cyclically mutually reinforced by uneven socially productive work (the inequality in public role creates an inequality in private role which in turn creates a greater inequality in public role which creates a greater dependence and inequality in private role; thus there is a dialectical relationship between gender division of labour and resulting power dynamics and social expectation in the workplace and home).
☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮
I agree, I think this relates to the concept of social capital and labour. I don't know too much about this, so I'll just say I think it exists and has quite a fundamental role in society.
Anyways, I think the situation has changed a little bit -- in some countries -- and the living conditions between men and women, and the social expectations, are more equal. One of my reasonings for saying it is like this, in some countries, is that I personally would like a wife who did all those things but it is obvious I wouldn't find one... From a mans perspective it's not too bad in my opinion, in some degree we are becoming better at taking care of ourselves. On the other hand, many men are having problems with this, as I think is indicated in school grades.
With that being said, I am obviously for equal opportunity and equal conditions between sexes to the extent it is possible (which is more than today). Just trying to look at the whole picture.
Last edited by Dystisis; 3rd May 2008 at 00:56.
Ah, I see. I only briefly glanced at it while operating on very little sleep, and did not catch the undertones. I apologize.Excuse me?
This is a satirical article attacking the patriarchal double standards of society, and the role of women as house-keepers and domestic servants for husbands.
Then I asked the serious question regarding how much had changed in 37 years.
You think that anti-patriarchal articles are chit-chat quality?
Despite the form of the article, I want serious responses.
Or I would have posted it in chit-chat.
Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else ever cared.
Thank you for that.
That's okay, I apologise for biting.
Yes, I think you summarised it perfectly.
Indeed (not that psychology or philosophy are shitty degrees).
I agree.
What countries, out of interest?
I will assume that you're American, and whilst its true that, generally, women have a more 'equal role' in America than in say, India, I think it would be safe to say that this sort of social role of a wife is not uncommon in America. Of course, it will be dressed up in 'nicer' terms of 'doing a mother's duties' etc.
If you are looking, I am sure you will find one, or indeed, follow the economic situation which creates one for you.
Or having someone take care of you? :/
And yeah, whilst having, what is really a domestic 'slave', is beneficial to a man, why would you personally support this? (Or have I misunderstood?)
I'm a bit suspect about this...
Could you give me a link or something?
What 'extents' are there?
Is 'true' equality possible?
Last edited by ManyAntsDefeatSpiders; 3rd May 2008 at 03:10.
By the way, there is also a man's response to this. I'll post it later.
Whoop-Dee-Doo.
Yes, we get it. What are you trying to prove, everyone agrees with you.
You're mostly right, but it's really a trite argument.
It's in Chit-Chat because it's not serious, and is loaded with jokes and sarcastic bullshit.
...At least the modification to the boards allows me to go back to my old post, but it's on hold for now.I don't want to get kicked out of the CC, or worse, RevLeft.
Last edited by Awful Reality; 6th May 2008 at 13:43.
AR, men are NOT systemically repressed by capitalist-patriarchal-familial institutions for being men. That is the key difference, and why what the OP posted is a pertinent source for reflection, and what you just posted is a knee-jerk reaction and is actually offensive.
Personally I don't think shit like that should be acceptable here, particularly considering that you used your post as an opportunity to bash feminists, but I'll leave it up to Midnight.
Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
So I sing, sing, sing,
Ding-a-ling-a-ling.
--Baldrick, Blackadder Goes Forth
Barricade Books
The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners. - Captain Jack Harkness
I think a "Battle of the Sexes" is pretty fucking counterproductive.
"Win, lose or draw...long as you squabble and you get down, that's gangsta."
But don't you think recognising male privilege is essential to women's liberation?
Also, the article's tone is hardly overly combative, more reflective, thought-provoking and (Jebus forbid) darkly humorous.
Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
So I sing, sing, sing,
Ding-a-ling-a-ling.
--Baldrick, Blackadder Goes Forth
Barricade Books
The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners. - Captain Jack Harkness
Evidently not.
Its not in chit-chat. Re-read the thread.
Could a moderator please trash this (and perhaps consider the members you let into the CC next time?)
'Too bust pretending I'm undervalued by patriarchal society' 'washed up feminist'...that's pretty disgusting coming from a so-called leftist.
How was my post offensive?
It was an attack on patriarchal relations.
Yours was just an chauvinistic rant. Racist 'jokes' aren't funny if non-racists tell them. Nor are sexist rants funny because non-sexists tell them.
This article didn't argue that. Nor do I.
Last edited by ManyAntsDefeatSpiders; 6th May 2008 at 08:21.
Yes, I do.
However, I thought that this piece was snarky and annoying. Maybe it really was that awful in the 70s. I wouldn't know; I wasn't even alive in the 70s. I do know that great strides have been made in the area of gender equality, though. Much still remains to be done, of course, but progress has been made, none the less. And I do know that to apply the criticisms in that essay to today's society across the board would be to play fast and loose with obnoxious gender stereotypes: the men as cheating dogs who demand their wive's understanding, while the women slave away and put their husbands before themselves in every way, and act as the dutiful Goodie Homemaker.
And by the way, ants, I wasn't referring to you when I wrote "Battle of the Sexes". I was thinking of AR's rebuttal to your article.
Last edited by Os Cangaceiros; 6th May 2008 at 08:53.
"Win, lose or draw...long as you squabble and you get down, that's gangsta."
I personally liked the "article". Quite witty, and the saddest thing is that it's still relevant today.
"El ideal del P.S.O.E. es la completa emancipación de la clase trabajadora; Es decir, la abolición de todas las clases sociales y su declaración y conversión en una sola clase de trabajadores, dueños del fruto de su trabajo, libres, iguales, honrados e inteligentes." -Pablo Iglesias (founder of PSOE and UGT)
"Quienes contraponen liberalismo y socialismo, o no conocen el primero o no saben los verdaderos objetivos del segundo." -Pablo Iglesias
Art. 1.º España es una República democrática de trabajadores de toda clase, que se
organiza en régimen de Libertad y de Justicia.
I found an interview with Judy Brady here.
She talks about her time in Cuba and later on says at one stage (regarding what has changed in USA) 'You can certainly show that privileged women have more privileges, but you cannot show me that there has been a positive change in this country for most of the people.'
Judy maintains that the radical feminist movement and the position of women in general has gained little since the 60s.
Christ, calm down, it was an innocent joke. If you care that much, I'll take down the post.
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN WHAT I WROTE. IT WAS A JOKE.
