Is "being a gentleman" sexist?

[spartan]

So yeah is being a gentleman (i.e. holding doors open for Women and allowing them to do things first) sexist or just good morals?

For me it relies on the subconscious belief that women should be looked after by men and is thus sexist (Albeit with those doing it not knowing).

Thoughts?

[jake williams]

Well that depends on a lot of things. Generally it's basic civility that you hold doors open for people where it's appropriate, regardless of sex. If this is what you're doing and a women gets upset because it's "sexist" then that in itself is absurd. But if you make a grand display of explicitly gendered "civility", then yes, it is sexist, and though this is a different argument, it's something I don't think we should do.

That said, heterosexuality on its own is going to lead to some subjective gender distinctions which might be called "sexist" but certainly shouldn't be. Like it's not sexist to only ever ask women out and not men.

An important idea to consider is how much sexuality we should allow in different life situations, in the workplace, in community organizations, in schools, in public wandering about, in social situations and so on.

[Pirate turtle the 11th]

So yeah is being a gentleman (i.e. holding doors open for Women and allowing them to do things first) sexist or just good morals?

I try to hold open doors for everybody or nobody.

[Holden Caulfield]

So yeah is being a gentleman (i.e. holding doors open for Women and allowing them to do things first)

this is true;

but things like the fact i walk my gf home everynight, she doesnt walk me home i think is more the debate here and i think that this is because there is a more real danger of women being attacked more than males not just as they are (no offence at all please dont give me abuse) physically weaker but as males are usually the offenders and are more likely to commit a 'real' crime attack a member of the opposit sex, whereas again another male it is just 'whos cock is bigger agression' (this is proven by psychological research into criminology)

[Luís Henrique]

I am a gentleman, and I don't get offended if the ladies act to me like gentlewomen.

Luís Henrique

[jaffe]

So yeah is being a gentleman (i.e. holding doors open for Women and allowing them to do things first) sexist or just good morals?

For me it relies on the subconscious belief that women should be looked after by men and is thus sexist (Albeit with those doing it not knowing).

Thoughts?

stop smoking

[Redmau5]

stop smoking

What? spartan's question is quite legitimate.

[mykittyhasaboner]

i dont think its sexist, as far as opening a door-well its just opening a door nobody should make a big deal out of someone opening a door for you. i guess you could consider it a moral standard, but again its quite an insignificant action to call sexist. perhaps we should consider that the women who take advantage of men because their gentlemen is sexist, or vice versa. since the people know these moral standards its quite easy to take advantage of people, so i think that being a gentlemen or whatever isnt sexist at all its just being nice.

[spartan]

Wouldnt you say though that the men being gentlemen sub-consciously (Without knowing themselves) view women as vulnerable who need to be looked after by them (Almost like a knight in shining armour theme)?

I think that an arguement can be made that being a gentleman is part of societies teaching of men and women to reinforce gender roles and perhaps even misogyny?

[Entrails Konfetti]

One time I pulled a chair out for a woman.
She missed the chair and fell on the ground.
She was mad at me.
I just said that "I was being a gentleman".

So yeah, it just doesn't do anyone any good.
Just open the door for everyone, watch where you're standing, and don't act like you're after a females genitals. Most likely, people will think you're pleasant.

[Bilan]

I open doors for people. I used to walk my girlfriend home, or put her on my handle bars and ride her home (bikes > you).
I regularly shout my friends things.
I also happily give people my coat, sweater, scarf, etc. when they're cold, even I am too.

To me, being a "gentlemen" is just being kind. It's not a 'misogynist' action.

[mykittyhasaboner]

Wouldnt you say though that the men being gentlemen sub-consciously (Without knowing themselves) view women as vulnerable who need to be looked after by them (Almost like a knight in shining armour theme)?

I think that an arguement can be made that being a gentleman is part of societies teaching of men and women to reinforce gender roles and perhaps even misogyny?

im not saying that it is wrong for men to look after women, i think everybody should look out for everyone else, not just the opposite sex, i just think there shouldnt be a social standard, but there is, and its viewed as rude, or disrespectful if you dont meet the standard of being a "gentleman".

[Partisano]

That's pretty much my view on it. I really don't care much for chivalry or anything, but I think general kindness is a great policy. I like treating others well, and really it is out of self-pleasure as much as anything. I like how I feel when I treat others well. Its good for me, and and its good for others. I seriously hate prick people who act like they are the only ones in existence.

I open doors for people. I used to walk my girlfriend home, or put her on my handle bars and ride her home (bikes > you).
I regularly shout my friends things.
I also happily give people my coat, sweater, scarf, etc. when they're cold, even I am too.

To me, being a "gentlemen" is just being kind. It's not a 'misogynist' action.

[AGITprop]

I' try to be polite with anyone I'm with, man or woman. I'll almost always go to open doors for people If I can, with women as well. I don't think it is sexist, but the idea of opening doors for women and being chivalrous is a misogynistic trend. I've encountered many 'feminists' who were insulted if I opened the door for them. I found this very disturbing as it reflects the bankruptcy of petit-bourgeois feminism. I can't even be polite without them thinking I'm trying to get into their pants. If someone opens the doors for you, you say thank you and walk through the God-damned door.

[Partisano]

Yeah, some forms of feminism are just another repackaged elitism, although its not entirely undue because women have been historically mistreated and still are by men. I think that opening doors for others is just being comradely.

[spartan]

Yeah i can see what you all mean when you talk about just being generally kind to other people (Man or woman).

I suppose i didnt think about that when i first posted this.

I do however still believe that there are those who do it because sub-consciously (Without them even knowing) society has drilled it into them that women are vulnerable things that need "looking after" by men.

But then again there are those who will simply do it as a nice gesture to someone without implying anything in their action.

[Os Cangaceiros]

I open doors for people. I used to walk my girlfriend home, or put her on my handle bars and ride her home (bikes > you).
I regularly shout my friends things.
I also happily give people my coat, sweater, scarf, etc. when they're cold, even I am too.

To me, being a "gentlemen" is just being kind. It's not a 'misogynist' action.

My thoughts exactly.

[Mujer Libre]

My thoughts exactly.

It all depends on motivation. I mean, if like PTiT said, you're just doing these things because you're nice (and are polite to men or women), then no probs. Actual "gentlemanly" (in the sense of chivalry) behaviour is however based on the assumption that women are incapable of doing a whole range of everyday activities, and must be protected. Alternatively, especially these days, being nice to women is a prelude to an attempt to get in her pants.

If either of the latter motivates you, then you quite possibly are a sexist pig.

If you're just nice and polite, you're nice and we like you.

[AGITprop]

To be fair and perfectly honest. If the action is misogynistic, I condemn it, but there is nothing wrong with trying to seduce someone. We all have needs and urges and there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex. Acting kindly to woo someone is perfectly fine in my eyes as long as it is not consciously done because you consider women inferior.

[bezdomni]

I open doors for all people, unless I just don't like the look of em.