Bush Proposing anti-masturbation laws - Clitoridectomies man

[ChiTown Lady]

This is being called: "Operation Infinite Purity"

Here is the link to the site this came from, followed by the text:

http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/index.asp

President Bush is proud to introduce an ambitious new phase in the fight to preserve all that is decent in America. Conceived and championed by the revered Republican think tank Americans for Purity, "Operation Infinite Purity" is dedicated to the complete eradication of masturbation from American soil by the year 2005.

Masturbation is more dangerous than atheism. Doctors of a generation ago knew this, but over the course of recent Democratic administrations, and their prevailing philosophy of "if it feels good, do it" - this problem has spiralled out of control.

Myth: Masturbation is harmless.
Reality: Medical science proves that chronic masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

Myth: There are bigger problems than masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!

Myth: Masturbation is not immoral.
Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! It is true that Onan wasn't masturbating, but the point is that God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.

Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on masturbation have come to the conclusion that masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.

Myth: Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for masturbation being outlawed.
Reality: Masturbatory devices are already illegal in President Bush's home state Texas. The police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law.

Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't masturbate.


How to stop the current epidemic of Democrat-approved self-abuse in America? We will employ precisely the same tactics, legislation, and get-tough attitude that has been so successful in the War On Drugs.
Control of Paraphernalia: Drug abuse has been slashed by the outlawing of drug accessories such as syringes and marijuana pipes. In order to get tough on masturbation, we will eliminate masturbatory paraphernalia. This means outlawing such things as:

"Personal Vibrators" and other masturbatory devices such as dildos and blow-up dolls.
ALL indecent art. This includes paintings, sculptures and photographs. We don't need the Victoria's Secret catalog! Simple, modest underwear would sell itself and minimize unGodly temptations.
Certain food. If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to masturbate.
Intensive Urine Testing: Science has discovered that men produce sperm cells constantly. All that sperm has to go somewhere! If an unmarried man doesn't masturbate, all the sperm cells he produces end up in his urine. Going forward, all unmarried men will be required to submit frequent urine samples, which will be examined under a microscope. If an unmarried man has a low concentration of sperm cells in his urine, it means he has been having orgasms - and therefore is guilty of either masturbation or fornication and should will be incarcerated. Random urine testing in the War On Drugs has been a very powerful weapon. We will not hesitate to harness it for use in the War On Masturbation!
Zero Tolerance: Just as police departments seize the cars and homes of people who are caught with drugs, Operation Infinite Purity calls for the homes and SUVs of people caught masturbating to be taken away without due process and auctioned off, with all proceeds going to augmenting similar anti-masturbation law enforcement.


Certain supposedly "primitive" tribes in Africa have completely eliminated masturbation among their women! How was this amazing feat accomplished? Through a very simple operation called a Clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male. (Clitoridectomy has gotten a bad reputation in the West, but only because in Africa it is often done with crude instruments, without anesthesia, and under unsanitary conditions. Up until recently, this proud and noble procedure had been outlawed in the United States by the ruling hedonists and sodomites of the Democratic party. President Bush is proud to unilaterally overturn this law by the power of Executive Order #13252-V, thereby clearing the way for safe and effective Clitoridectomies for all American females - performed in sterile, modern operating rooms with plenty of soothing anesthesia. A woman who has had a Clitoridectomy is permanently cured of masturbation and other lascivious behavior, and is ready to resume her life as a decent and productive member of American society. Furthermore, Operation Infinite Purity makes Clitoridectomies mandatory for female children (who will never miss the part that is removed if it is done early enough). And surgery isn't just for females! Castration for adult males will become the standard punitive measure for repeat masturbatory offenders.

[ChiTown Lady]

And this shit is making an analogy between a Clitoridectomy [of a female] and circumcision of a male. Quote from that site: "Through a very simple operation called a Clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male."

What?!?!?

Circumcision is only taking the extra skin away from the outside of the penis. It is NOT taking away the nerve endings – or sensitive part that causes the male to have an orgasm when having sex. However to remove the clitoris from a female is doing EXACTLY THAT – taking away the part of the female anatomy that gives pleasure and gives the female a pleasurable orgasm during sex.

Bush needs to have his dick cut off with a blunt instrument and shoved down his own throat until he chokes to death.

[Invader Zim]

What a dumb bastard...

It causes no bad effects...

God doesnt exist so its not a sin...

what are they going to do, burt into people's houses at random to see if they are having a wank???


Is that site serious?

[CubanFox]

Whitehouse.gov is the actual site. I'm pretty sure this was a joke. If it was serious, I doubt it would have those pics at the top

[ChiTown Lady]

Quote: from Paris on 2:57 am on May 22, 2003
It's not.., the bottom of the site says it " a chickenhead production parody" but it could very well be in the future to some extent. I don't thing clitorectomies will become a mandatory procedure. But I could see sex shops made illegal as they've already done in Times Square in NY under Rudy Guiliani. Times Square is all Disney now.

Paris - Thanks for putting this into perspective.

Still - Bush has some very stranage ideas - we need to seriously watch that pendejo cobron.

[Blasphemy]

www.whitehouse.gov is the actual White House site, not whitehouse.org.

[Soul Rebel]

Since we are on the topic of clitordectomy, otherwise known as "Female Genital Mutilation," I just want to share some info with you guys.
1) The procedure is carried out in Africa and the Middle East. 95 million womyn in 25 countries are affected by it.
2) There are three kinds of procedures: *Sunna- it is the most traditional procedure carried out. It is the least invasive; it is the removal of the hood. Name reflects belief that it has connection to Islam. *Clitordectomy- it is the removal of the clitoris and labia. *Infibulation- Everything is removed and then sewn shut. Only a little hole is left for urination and menses. This is the one that probably causes most damage because the stiching can be torn apart during intercourse. It has to be unstiched during labor and then restiched after words. This procedure causes urinary tract infections, shock, etc., sometimes death from infection.
3) The age range in which girls get this done is 7-10.
4) The procedure is not carried out by men, but by other womyn. Midwives are the ones performing the procedure. They do it for economic reasons. This is a way of bringing in income- they are given money, food, and other gifts by the girls family. How midwives perform this varies. Some midwives perform this in their office with sterilized equipment, antibiotics, and anesthesia. Others do the procedure at the girls house with a piece of glass and thorns (to sew her up) over a hole (to catch blood). How they do it depends on their economic level, as well as that of the patient, because most often those working in the office have to buy their own supplies. More and more programs have been carried out to show midwives how to perform the procedure safely.
5) The reason why the procedure is carried out is economic, which leads to the control of womyn's sexuality. Womyn are expected to be married off someday. If she gets married she will be economically taken care of and she will no longer be a burden to her family. To ensure that she will be married the procedure is done. Virginity is a very important quality that a woman needs to possess in order to be married. If she is not a virgin nobody will want her and so the procedure is done to keep her a virgin. This also keeps other people from spreading rumors about the woman's sexuality.
6) The procedure is very supported in these countries. It is a tradition that is very much celebrated. The girls are very aware of the procedure and know when their time comes for it. It is a right of passage for girls- like a "Sweet 16" birthday party. They are now stepping from childhood into adulthood. When the procedure is done the whole community celebrates. A huge party is thrown, in which an animal is slaughtered for a feast. The young girl receives many presents, like a new dress, bracelets, dolls, etc. So for these people it is not bad, only does the west view it as bad. Its like veiling- we think of it from a very ethnocentric perspective.

[Conghaileach]

WhiteHouse.org is a parody website. They've done some great stuff in the past by really spoofing the government, and its right-wing conservative religious fundamentalist bullshit.

[Urban Rubble]

It sounded like ChiTownLady thought this was serious at first.

[Dirty Commie]

If wanking was banned, I'd jerk off on the white house lawn.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

I love it how the site (a different page I went to) makes fun of the fact that Bush claims god to be on his side, no matter what.

[GCusack]

I think thats a joke! It would be impossible to uphold!

[Urban Rubble]

Of course it's a joke, I thought that was fairly obvious.

[Palmares]

Quote: from Blasphemy on 9:37 pm on May 22, 2003
www.whitehouse.gov is the actual White House site, not whitehouse.org.

I bet whitehouse.com would encourage masturbation! :biggrin:

[Zombie]

That was some of the funniest shit I read in a while.
Nice one chitown!

[praxis1966]

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I feel down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

((Chorus))

I don't want
Anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself

[Lefty]

Ahhahahahahahha, that's hilarious. "Infinite Purity..." That's so funny. Thanks, chitown lady.

[synthesis]

Hahaha! That's classic!

Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on masturbation have come to the conclusion that masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.


:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

[Pete]

God was on the side of the poor german that ahh I forget the book now. But he was killed and some american ended up playing around with his helmets.