"And again the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah." - 2 Samuel 24:1
"And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel." - 1 Chronicles 21:1
This is basically the same story, but it seems the bible can't decide wheter it was god or satan who made David number Israel. But it gets better:
"And David's heart smote him after that he had numbered the people. And David said unto the LORD, I have sinned greatly in that I have done: and now, I beseech thee, O LORD, take away the iniquity of thy servant; for I have done very foolishly.
For when David was up in the morning, the word of the LORD came unto the prophet Gad, David's seer, saying,
Go and say unto David, Thus saith the LORD, I offer thee three things; choose thee one of them, that I may do it unto thee.
So Gad came to David, and told him, and said unto him, Shall seven years of famine come unto thee in thy land? or wilt thou flee three months before thine enemies, while they pursue thee? or that there be three days' pestilence in thy land? now advise, and see what answer I shall return to him that sent me.
And David said unto Gad, I am in a great strait: let us fall now into the hand of the LORD; for his mercies are great: and let me not fall into the hand of man.
So the LORD sent a pestilence upon Israel from the morning even to the time appointed: and there died of the people from Dan even to Beersheba seventy thousand men.
And when the angel stretched out his hand upon Jerusalem to destroy it, the LORD repented him of the evil, and said to the angel that destroyed the people, It is enough: stay now thine hand. And the angel of the LORD was by the threshingplace of Araunah the Jebusite.
And David spake unto the LORD when he saw the angel that smote the people, and said, Lo, I have sinned, and I have done wickedly: but these sheep, what have they done? let thine hand, I pray thee, be against me, and against my father's house." - 2 Samuel 24:10-17
WTF? God moved David to do what he shouldn't have done? And:
"Because David did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, and turned not aside from any thing that he commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite." - 1 Kings 15:5
As you can see the first quote is not very consistent with the third (which surprisingly is on the same "book"), and it seems to contradict the second one which also contradicts the fourth one, which is not very consistent the third. So, it seems that:
1) the bible is wrong
2) god and satan are the same guy
3) satan controls god
4) god controls satan, which makes him evil
