love and fear are each others' antithesis and result from opposites: love happens when you understand, whereas fear happens when you don't understand. it seems ridiculous that you could feel both except in very peculiar situations, of which BDSM may be but probably isn't one. if you're actually seriously afraid that something bad is going to happen to you in a BDSM type situation, that would probably just be a sign that you don't actually trust that person and that you need to gtfo of that situation asap.
I wouldn't say that fear comes out of lack of understanding; in fact, in my experience the most intense combined bouts of fear and love were well justified in that the suspicion, the object of fear was rationally thought out - an aspect of a loved one's personality, which was inherently ambiguous and could go either way with me (in fundamental terms of outright rejection or acceptance; thus the fear).
Pretty much I can't feel love without fear now due to past events; for better or worse.
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