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Non-White Woman Fetish
So, I was talking with some friends the other day, and we were talking about how we thinks it's weird the white guys who like specifically only pursue non-white women. Like a fetish, white men who specifically will only date black women or asian women and so on. Is this some bizarre racist throwback? Now I don't mean to say its weird for a white guy to fall in love with a woman whom just so happens to not be white but like, you know what I mean? Cuz in my head it's seems kinda racist. Things could get reversed, it's not necessarily gender specific.
I'm talking about people where it doesn't matter who the person is, their personality, are they in love, are they compatible, are they a piece of shit, are the ugly or worthless or nothing just so long as they fit the racial preference specific to their fetish.
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I've never seen someone go hardline for a one ethnicity over another, but I have seen preferences a lot. I'm Hispanic and I remember my cousin saying he was never going to date anyone outside the culture, but today his girlfriend is Asian. Same with my sister kind of, dating her first white man.
The most annoying thing about ethnic mixing in Hispanic culture, that I've noticed is prominent, is the preference. Blonde white people are like a jewel to the elders in my family. It's so annoying, my mom keeps telling me to marry a blonde white women so she could have blonde children.
So growing up in the US, many Hispanics grow a preference to staying within their culture, or not. Now that I think of it I do have a cousin that says she won't date Hispanics, her mom does not mind at all.But what I've noticed is that those who grow up for a long time in a country like Mexico are fucking in love with white people.
To answer your question people that dismiss their culture, or race or whatever, from their dating circles probably just dislike their culture or something. That's why my cousin says she won't date Hispanics. Which I've never thought about, but that does qualify as racism.
Last edited by Bala Perdida; 28th May 2014 at 14:18.
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Whether or not it's perceived as a fetish, it's not racist. Racists are driven by fear.
Depends on why.
"to become a philosopher, start by walking very slowly"
I disagree, in so much as, I don't think racists are motivated by 'fear' or anxiety towards interactions with members of another ethnic group or some particular phobia involving melanin or any other stereotypes/jokes I and we would typically issue to such people.
Could elaborate a little bit please? I ask simply because they 'why' seems like it could be irrelevant, to a degree.
Come little children, I'll take thee away, into a land of enchantment, come little children, the times come to play, here in my garden of magic.
"I'm tired of this "isn't humanity neat," bullshit. We're a virus with shoes."-Bill Hicks.
I feel the Bern and I need penicillin
I don't think 'those people' exist anywhere where I live, so I'm guessing that may be you are misinterpreting men having a preference for non-white women, like others may have a preference for blondes, as a fetish for one particular race. It isn't that they only want to date one specific race, but that, on average, they are more likely to be attracted toward that specific race...... I'm guessing.
My pop-psychology explanation for this is that maybe women of the same race remind some men subconsciously of their sister....
pew pew pew
@vox
If your referring to the only criteria being the color of one's skin, then I would agree that is essentially racist. I've never met or heard of people doing that, typically those I see dating another race do so because of particular physical attractions
I don't think there's a problem with someone finding themselves more attracted to certain people than others, but I don't think that's what Vox Populi is talking about. I don't have experience of racism myself, but from what I've read and conversations I've had with friends, there are some men out there who treat women who aren't white as "exotic" and fetishise the way they look. There are also other casually racist things people might say/think about women from various ethnic groups, such as assuming that all Asian women fit a certain standard of beauty.
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This is a tricky thing to describe.
This is like the stereotype of white girls with black guys. But seriously, it depends on the reasoning. Like I've known men and women who have been burned by the opposite gender in their race. So they try to date outside their race, to change it up. I don't view that as racist. Because they're just giving something else a try. On the other hand, there's the white people who say they aren't attracted to black people. That's straight up racism, and is absolutely bullshit. I've heard that shit said so many times, it makes me sick.
As for me, I've dated my fair share of white women. I've had a Japanese girlfriend too. But I've yet to date a Latina or a black girl. I'd like to date a Latina, a black girl, or another Asian girl. That's my preference at this moment. I jokingly told my co-workers at my last job, when I broke up with my last ex-girlfriend. That I was "done with white women". But I was joking, and if I get involved with another white woman again next, then so be it. It's merely preference, not exclusion for me. Whoever I'm attracted to and get with, I get with. As race doesn't matter in the end.
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what synthesis said. You should explore the reasons. I know, I'm kinda obsessed with pornbut look at it, they kinda reflect society. Asian women are humble, shy and obedient, black women are kinky and fierce, latinas are exotic, sassy and so on. Why do you never find such descriptions or attributes connected to white women in porn? 'cause they are the standard and everything else gets fetishized. This is disgusting and everything but a compliment to non-white women. So if you hope that you get some obedient woman when you find an Asian girl, you're not someone with just preferences, you're a racist asshole and should fuck yourself with a knife. Goddamn this makes me so mad when only writing about it.
Look at that.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/10-r...asian-women-on
Liberal Dudes are guys who will jump up and down to tell you that they’re all about equality and prosperity for everyone, but then tell you about the strip club they were at the night before or about the awesome anal porn site they last jerked off to. Liberal Dudes are ready to welcome us into the boardroom, provided we’re still willing to dance on the conference table at the employee party. Liberal Dudes love “sex-positive” “feminists” because Liberal Dudes support women’s freedom and “rights,” up to and including our “right” to strip and to suck dicks for money. Liberal Dudes love to see women embracing pornorific behavior like pole dancing, pube waxing, porn watching, thong wearing, chick kissing, and boob flashing as a means to “empowerment,” because that’s exactly the kind of power they want us to have: the power to give them boners.
As others have said, it depends on the reason.
If the reason is simply preference in the same way as hair colour, hair length, or the like, then I don't think anything sinister can be read into it. After all, these are just mentally constructed rather than set rules - somebody might claim prefer brunettes, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't date a blonde girl (for example). These mental constructs and preferences don't result in the exclusion of those who don't fit the criteria.
On the other hand, there certainly can be more sinister cases. For example, western guys who might prefer to date an Asian girl because of the stereotype of them being timid, not used to expressing their opinions, deferring everything to the male within the relationship etc. There are people who date girls based on these criteria, and this is obviously terrible misogynistic. I know a fair few people who do this and it's horrible, they're just taking advantage and revelling in their own self-perceived 'masculinity'.
But lets be fair, most people just find the idea of dating somebody from a different race or culture to be interesting. Nothing more sinister than that.
As an aside, my wife is Asian and I am white. I live in an Asian country so this is not particularly uncommon. I admit to being attracted to Asian girls, but that's not to say I'm not equally attracted to white or black girls.
I think that men who specifically persue women based on their membership in a racial or cultural outgroup has less to do with racism and more to do with a man leveraging his white male economic and social status when it is his only selling point.
For instance, I have known several white men who are just like you describe who only date asian women - doesn't seem to matter who the women are or even if they speak English. What the men all have in common are various personality disorders that makes it virtually impossible for them to relate to their social peers ie white (American) women.
Sometimes the personality disorder is plain misogynist creepiness, other times the men are just really immature and insecure to the point of being disadvantaged, sometimes it's a mixure of both and the man is just really inappropriate with women. At the end of it however, it's a fundamental insecurity with themselves and their own social groups that seems to drive it. Of course it should be said that they rarely last long with asian women. I mean using 5 comptuers to torrent hardcore porn 24/7 while you scream at Call of Duty isn't exactly a hit with them either.
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I have a feeling that my dad only married my mother because of Yellow Fever. My dad once confessed during some real talk that he wanted a Japanese wife and 30 years later, their marriage ended up being pretty shitty which made me happy honestly. I still hate him for that to this day and probably until the day he dies.
But concerning the Asian fetish, a lot of it is rooted in misogyny and the reasoning is that it's because white women have been corrupted by feminism. Asian women on the other know how to cook, know how to listen, they have a high sex drive, crave the big white cock over the tiny yellow dick, and they are proud to be women. Fortunately, these stereotypes are completely untrue since anyone who grew up with an Asian mother tend to have more in common with a tiger than with a lamb.
On a related note, one of the most messed up things someone told me is that he loves Japanese women because they can still be 20 and have a face of a 12 year old. I hope fucks like that burn in hell.
Even if someone has a fetish for one race, for instance a white man who likes Asian women or vice verse, I don't think that's racist. It's like saying a man's sexist for only liking women or a man is sexist for only liking men, or vice versa. Sexuality and sexual preferences just really complex.
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I gotta add that some white women also experience fetishizing. Not so much in porn but in everyday life. At a party, some guy - not knowing I'm one of these annoying feminists - was like (when he heard I'm from former Yugoslavia): "So you're from Eastern Europe? (well, actually, south eastern, but to some people in Germany, the whole Balkans is like Eastern Europe
Liberal Dudes are guys who will jump up and down to tell you that they’re all about equality and prosperity for everyone, but then tell you about the strip club they were at the night before or about the awesome anal porn site they last jerked off to. Liberal Dudes are ready to welcome us into the boardroom, provided we’re still willing to dance on the conference table at the employee party. Liberal Dudes love “sex-positive” “feminists” because Liberal Dudes support women’s freedom and “rights,” up to and including our “right” to strip and to suck dicks for money. Liberal Dudes love to see women embracing pornorific behavior like pole dancing, pube waxing, porn watching, thong wearing, chick kissing, and boob flashing as a means to “empowerment,” because that’s exactly the kind of power they want us to have: the power to give them boners.
I always thought a lot of white guys went after asian girls because -
1] they grew up on anime, creepy cartoons where every girl looks and sounds like a child
2] it is easier for some white guys to get with asian girls as many asian communities worship white/light people
Obviously not every case is like that, I'm sure many couples love each other with no thought for race.
I wish death on everyone who works for the Department for Work and Pensions.
Bullshit
White people are not that special. Go to Thailand for example and you will see that most of the girls there do not like white guys but rather Korean. I think the only Asian country where much of the population is obsessed with being European is China to that point that there was a songthat talked about it.
Other than that, this myth that Asians want to be like the West in aesthetics has to stop.
Last edited by Atsumari; 28th May 2014 at 19:54.
It is a stereotype but it's based in truth to a minor degree. White women and black men are much more likely to date or marry outside of their race than white men or black women. Which, of course, isn't to imply that the white women are dating black men. Asian women are also more likely than Asian men to date outside of their race. And black women on the whole outnumber black men in America. I know several black women and white men who mostly date outside of their races just based on the demographics of where they live. Some people will get used to dating outside their race and actually find dating within their race different, after spending a long amount of time with a partner from another race. I think even a lot of prejudiced people can be happily married to someone outside of their race; perhaps even someone else who is mutually prejudiced against a third race.
Of course, all of that makes sense when you consider that race isn't really a biological thing so much as a social construct. We're all subject to the weird idiosyncrasies of humanity, albeit we all have very different experiences regardless based on what constructs we happen to be expected to abide by or be judged by. For example, Asian women may actually date less white men precisely because white men, as the socially privileged race, may be more inclined to act like idiots to her as opposed to Asian, black, or other men. And some minority men may be more inclined to want to date white women because the standards of beauty that they see represented in the media are airbrushed women with light skin. But I don't have statistics on any of those. And I just realized I included next to no information based on homosexual relationships, or any other non-heterosexual relationships. Sorry, I just don't know them off the top of my head as they aren't made as readily available. Some elaboration would be appropriate if someone could do so, but I think the general pattern I laid out holds true pretty much regardless of who is in what relationship with who.
In short, I think the nail has been hit on the head pretty well - don't fetishize, exoticize, and/or degrade people, but it's fine to have preferences, even if they're based in bullshit.
No it isn't and it certainly does seem racist. It's objectifying someone based upon both their gender and ethnic origin, the novelty or utility here being "exotic." I once sold an old man, a WWII vet, whom quote "got him an oriental," and was proud of this fact apparently, so much so because he said it right in front of his wife.
Come little children, I'll take thee away, into a land of enchantment, come little children, the times come to play, here in my garden of magic.
"I'm tired of this "isn't humanity neat," bullshit. We're a virus with shoes."-Bill Hicks.
I feel the Bern and I need penicillin
What do you believe motivates people to express hatred?
