Thread: Pour Your Heart Out XXII

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  1. #1
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    Default Pour Your Heart Out XXII

    yay new thread!
    Freedom before Peace
  2. #2
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    So I guy I met online whom I have had my eye on for a few years has said that he was similar feelings for me; I must say, is the best news I have had in years

    Of course, it is bitter sweet since we are separate by so much distance and will have to find a way to be together despite our divergent life paths. Still, hopefully we will find a way.
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  3. #3
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    It's frustrating to not be able to think of any good advice or kind words for the people in these threads sometimes. I just won't know what to say or what would even sound good to a person in X situation so far removed from the shit I've experienced. This is such a lame complaint, and understand that I'm only pouring my heart out insofar as I am expressing myself here, but generally speaking, being powerless while watching someone go through something nasty is difficult. The most heartbreaking time in recent memory was with one of my dogs who was having medical issues at the time. He's doing great now, but you can still see in the way he runs around sometimes that it affected him to a large degree. Of course, I was powerful insofar as I got him to a vet who could help him out as soon as possible, but I think you can all understand what kinda shit I'm talking about here.

    Point is, I kinda like some of you fuckers. Stop having bad things happen, unless you're willing to fly over to the states for hugs and a coffee. And if you don't like coffee... suddenly I don't really care about your problems anymore! Joking, of course.
  4. #4
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    It's frustrating to not be able to think of any good advice or kind words for the people in these threads sometimes. I just won't know what to say or what would even sound good to a person in X situation so far removed from the shit I've experienced. This is such a lame complaint, and understand that I'm only pouring my heart out insofar as I am expressing myself here, but generally speaking, being powerless while watching someone go through something nasty is difficult. The most heartbreaking time in recent memory was with one of my dogs who was having medical issues at the time. He's doing great now, but you can still see in the way he runs around sometimes that it affected him to a large degree. Of course, I was powerful insofar as I got him to a vet who could help him out as soon as possible, but I think you can all understand what kinda shit I'm talking about here.

    Point is, I kinda like some of you fuckers. Stop having bad things happen, unless you're willing to fly over to the states for hugs and a coffee. And if you don't like coffee... suddenly I don't really care about your problems anymore! Joking, of course.
    totally would....but you should have something more to offer
    Liberal Dudes are guys who will jump up and down to tell you that they’re all about equality and prosperity for everyone, but then tell you about the strip club they were at the night before or about the awesome anal porn site they last jerked off to. Liberal Dudes are ready to welcome us into the boardroom, provided we’re still willing to dance on the conference table at the employee party. Liberal Dudes love “sex-positive” “feminists” because Liberal Dudes support women’s freedom and “rights,” up to and including our “right” to strip and to suck dicks for money. Liberal Dudes love to see women embracing pornorific behavior like pole dancing, pube waxing, porn watching, thong wearing, chick kissing, and boob flashing as a means to “empowerment,” because that’s exactly the kind of power they want us to have: the power to give them boners.
  5. #5
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    So I ate that 8 Dollar ice cream in half an hour
    goddamn whats wrong with me.
    btw, still not consequent enough for living completely vegan

    http://www.fotos-hochladen.net/uploa...lw6aj40ido.jpg
    Liberal Dudes are guys who will jump up and down to tell you that they’re all about equality and prosperity for everyone, but then tell you about the strip club they were at the night before or about the awesome anal porn site they last jerked off to. Liberal Dudes are ready to welcome us into the boardroom, provided we’re still willing to dance on the conference table at the employee party. Liberal Dudes love “sex-positive” “feminists” because Liberal Dudes support women’s freedom and “rights,” up to and including our “right” to strip and to suck dicks for money. Liberal Dudes love to see women embracing pornorific behavior like pole dancing, pube waxing, porn watching, thong wearing, chick kissing, and boob flashing as a means to “empowerment,” because that’s exactly the kind of power they want us to have: the power to give them boners.
  6. #6
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    OMG I love Ice Cream I've got some vanilla ice cream if anyone wants to share (if anyone could share...)
  7. #7
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    totally would....but you should have something more to offer
    If you flew to the states don't forget to stop in the mountains of western North Cack for a couple grrrls' nights out! We could turn Asheville upside down.
    I dreamt of a flower that was so beautiful that when it whithered away and died a tear left my eye. I saw our births, our lives and our deaths. I felt fire paint me with pain and I felt a kiss on my lips with a knife in my neck. Love to heartbreak to self-destruction to birth and to finally learning to frolic back into the same trap with a warm smile.

    O|O

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    My bff and I got into a terrible argument she cut off contact with me, now I hear rumors that she is suicidal or expressing suicidal ideations. I am freaking out because I don't know if she is okay. I wish I could tell her I love her and that everything is gonna be alright and that I'm here for her.
    I dreamt of a flower that was so beautiful that when it whithered away and died a tear left my eye. I saw our births, our lives and our deaths. I felt fire paint me with pain and I felt a kiss on my lips with a knife in my neck. Love to heartbreak to self-destruction to birth and to finally learning to frolic back into the same trap with a warm smile.

    O|O

    My blog: The Riot Slut Rage
  9. #9
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    why don't you just show up at her place? Aint that possible?
    Liberal Dudes are guys who will jump up and down to tell you that they’re all about equality and prosperity for everyone, but then tell you about the strip club they were at the night before or about the awesome anal porn site they last jerked off to. Liberal Dudes are ready to welcome us into the boardroom, provided we’re still willing to dance on the conference table at the employee party. Liberal Dudes love “sex-positive” “feminists” because Liberal Dudes support women’s freedom and “rights,” up to and including our “right” to strip and to suck dicks for money. Liberal Dudes love to see women embracing pornorific behavior like pole dancing, pube waxing, porn watching, thong wearing, chick kissing, and boob flashing as a means to “empowerment,” because that’s exactly the kind of power they want us to have: the power to give them boners.
  10. #10
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    why don't you just show up at her place? Aint that possible?
    I don't drive and i don't live within a reasonable distance since she moved into a city. Rubbertramping it isn't realistic at the moment.
    I dreamt of a flower that was so beautiful that when it whithered away and died a tear left my eye. I saw our births, our lives and our deaths. I felt fire paint me with pain and I felt a kiss on my lips with a knife in my neck. Love to heartbreak to self-destruction to birth and to finally learning to frolic back into the same trap with a warm smile.

    O|O

    My blog: The Riot Slut Rage
  11. #11
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    Is it not possible to call her or anything? I've been in a similar situation before, I hope everything goes ok...
    "I'm not interested in indulging whims from members of your faction."
    Seeing as this is seen as acceptable by an admin, from here on out when I have a disagreement with someone I will be asking them to reference this. If you want an explanation of my views, too bad.
  12. #12
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    Default Pour Your Heart Out XXII

    I don't seem to really desire anything. It's not that I'm content (I'm not) but there is nothing I can name to end that lack of content.

    Maybe this is what it feels like to want freedom. Or maybe I'm just hopeless.

    My life has no desire and no passion driving it. Except, I suppose, the urge to destroy. But I guess I gotta wait for that opportunity. Just a little longer, then I'm on my own.
    "I'm not interested in indulging whims from members of your faction."
    Seeing as this is seen as acceptable by an admin, from here on out when I have a disagreement with someone I will be asking them to reference this. If you want an explanation of my views, too bad.
  13. #13
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    I'm getting so lazy. I haven't written jack shit for my novel in god knows how long, my day to day consists of playing battlefield (i'm level 91 now, oh dear) and applying for jobs, chilling at my friend's house after he finishes work and talking shit / about the lack of development in my life. My two closest friends, I love like brothers, but I think my constant talk of moving is putting them off a bit. I need to get out of here.

    In the same way I regard finishing my work as some panacea to, well, my life, i'm starting to see moving to Bristol as the cure to all my problems. All the people I used to hang with at school piss me off, for various reasons. Either being really cliquey, or just being really.... i'd say drained of personality. Flawed though they were at school, there was a strong sense of identity in each individual. A character of the soul, or whatever pretentious shite you want to label it. Now there is.... I don't know, but I can't relate. I feel isolated in some respects, but whenever I see them I think "good fucking god, how tedious".

    What's even worse it that the proto bar manager of what could be considered my local, or at least my favourite pisshole, is a former friend who takes career advancement really seriously. No longer welcome am I, he without ID. For better or worse most people know me, and I haven't done anything daft or stupid since the time I came back in my first year of uni, 2 years ago. If they know who I am and it can be easily verified, why be so hard on me?

    All this snapchat stuff, all this smartphone culture, I can't relate. I have a 'shottas' phone, for the love of fuck. I don't particularly want a smartphone either. But when people talk to me, it's like it's from some bizarro planet where everyone is so funny, or so interesting, when they just communicate on some shitey software. I feel left out again, but I feel justified, again.

    I started emailing this girl who I met on the bus a while ago as well. Turned out she was only 16, which really unsettled me. It's not like it's illegal, but it seems real fucking seedy. Didn't speak to her for about 2 months, now she emails me back asking to spend the afternoon together. I will, maybe it'll just be a nice day of talking about poetry or whatever, but I really hope she's 17 now. An arbitrary number will make me feel less like some sort of malignant cancerous fuckup.

    I'm afraid that in 10 years time, I will have fulfilled none of my ambitions, my true friends will have moved on, and I will just be a bitter husk. I'll be right, all of the time, sure. Wonderful. Great. But does that really make being alone all the time worth it?


    EDIT: And also, I don't know if it's reading over my posts over and over before posting them to make sure they feel right, but I swear this is what I write in this thread in different wording near every fucking time.
    "He rather hated the ruling few than loved the suffering many."

    Formerly known as Pragmatic-Punk / Right Hand Of Jah / Heinous Bifter
  14. #14
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    How do people here deal with other people they enjoyed being around exiting their lives, whether through death or through loss of contact?
    "Win, lose or draw...long as you squabble and you get down, that's gangsta."
  15. #15
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    I'm pretty sure they were made to eventually completely replace the people at the check-out counter. Instead of six people at six counters, you can have one person watching six machines, who only has to do anything when the machine fucks up or someone is buying alcohol or whatever. An example of a technological advance that is shitty under capitalism but would be great under... well, under the transition to communism, maybe.
    As long as plutocrats are able to bribe the local thugs to prevent employees from seizing the means of production, then capitalists will keep getting richer off the surplus labor.
  16. #16
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    Is it not possible to call her or anything? I've been in a similar situation before, I hope everything goes ok...
    I know her phone isn't working. That was my first instinct.
    I dreamt of a flower that was so beautiful that when it whithered away and died a tear left my eye. I saw our births, our lives and our deaths. I felt fire paint me with pain and I felt a kiss on my lips with a knife in my neck. Love to heartbreak to self-destruction to birth and to finally learning to frolic back into the same trap with a warm smile.

    O|O

    My blog: The Riot Slut Rage
  17. #17
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    My bff and I got into a terrible argument she cut off contact with me, now I hear rumors that she is suicidal or expressing suicidal ideations. I am freaking out because I don't know if she is okay. I wish I could tell her I love her and that everything is gonna be alright and that I'm here for her.
    Well, if you figure out something let me know, because I'm in a similar situation concerning my former friend-so-good-we-called-each-other-siblings.

    Up to now my response has mostly been to ball up and fall apart, which doesn't seem to be working.
  18. #18
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    Well, if you figure out something let me know, because I'm in a similar situation concerning my former friend-so-good-we-called-each-other-siblings.

    Up to now my response has mostly been to ball up and fall apart, which doesn't seem to be working.
    Mine called me her bff-who-she-kisses-sometimes. So, in a sense I feel you, there she will always hold a special place in my heart.
    I dreamt of a flower that was so beautiful that when it whithered away and died a tear left my eye. I saw our births, our lives and our deaths. I felt fire paint me with pain and I felt a kiss on my lips with a knife in my neck. Love to heartbreak to self-destruction to birth and to finally learning to frolic back into the same trap with a warm smile.

    O|O

    My blog: The Riot Slut Rage
  19. #19
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    Now the stuff you people write about make me remember last year and the fight between the person I also at points called my brother (being an only child hehe) and knowing him for 20+ years (friends from earliest childhood).

    The lesson I took from that clusterfuck is: when someone changes to the point of not being able to recognize the friend in there anymore, and when this person acts like a complete idiot towards you showing not even an ounce of some kind of a decent human understanding - curse their name and never, ever look back.

    Another lesson: in previous phases, don't close your eyes before signs of a storm approaching, and call them out on their problematic behavior - instead of lulling yourself with stories about how eh what can you do, it's just the way they are.
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  20. #20
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    Now the stuff you people write about make me remember last year and the fight between the person I also at points called my brother (being an only child hehe) and knowing him for 20+ years (friends from earliest childhood).

    The lesson I took from that clusterfuck is: when someone changes to the point of not being able to recognize the friend in there anymore, and when this person acts like a complete idiot towards you showing not even an ounce of some kind of a decent human understanding - curse their name and never, ever look back.

    Another lesson: in previous phases, don't close your eyes before signs of a storm approaching, and call them out on their problematic behavior - instead of lulling yourself with stories about how eh what can you do, it's just the way they are.
    The worst thing is that I know all of that - that's how it should work. Someone should tell my brain that, it might cause it to stop switching from rage mode to sad mode every femtosecond.

    What's happening with you? You fought the law, who won?

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