Thread: The in-equality of sexual attraction

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  1. #1
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    Default The in-equality of sexual attraction

    My question is whether women's attraction to "bad guys" (for example drug dealers, criminals, spivs, general exploiters) is natural or nurture and influenced more by the attitudes of society. In a more egalitarian society will women stop being attracted to bad men and powerful men? Another question is how much of an influence does the knowledge that bad behaviour will result in the attention of attractive women influence mans decision to behave badly in the first place. Is the "appeal" of bad men to heterosexual women the symptom of a capitalist, chauvanist society or is it natural instinct. If it is the way round that natural instinct is part of the root of a chauvanist, capitalist society that continues to perpetuate the attitudes of heterosexual in-equality in a continuous cycle why would it be in anyone's interests to encourage social liberalism within the capitalist, chauvanist society which is what social democrats and bourgeoise liberals advocate.

    If it is the "natural instinct", surely the institution of marriage is in the interests of women because it gives them power. This is where perhaps some conservative morality is evolutionary and rational because if we understand the "natural" state of human behavior to an extent socially conservative ideas like the institution of marriage and discouraging casual sex culturally for example are tackling bad behaviour rather than encouraging it. Just like how we understand greed to be natural to an extent, it is rational to combat it rather than encourage it.

    Obviously male sexual attraction is un-equal in a social darwinistic sense however there is no drive for women who perhaps aren't "physically attractive" in the social darwinistic sense or who are but want to get male attention to behave badly or exploit people to win the attentions of attractive men, because male sexual attraction is more visual.

    This obviously only relates to heterosexual attraction however perhaps there are similarities in gay attraction.
    Last edited by graffic; 18th December 2012 at 18:45.
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    Oh god is this thread stupid.


    Women are not attracted to bad guys. Women, like men, are attracted to a huge variety of traits and when it comes to getting involved with someone we all compromise some of these preferred traits for others.

    So, while a 'bad guy' may be a dickhead to other people other factors such as confidence, humour etc may be more desirable than the indesirability of being a dickhead.

    Btw, i take exception to claiming my sexuality is simple. I'd take intelligence and humour over physical attractiveness anyday.
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    I was going to include the sentence that *obviously* not all women are attracted to "bad guys", however you define that, I'm not making blanket statements or claiming to be ab expert on female sexuality. I'm just saying in my own experience, and others and as can be observed in genera, it is an objective fact that there is some sort of trend that "bad men" or powerful men are seen as appealing sexually to some women. And bad behavior by men can be rewarded with the attention of attractive women. My question was whether this is down to nature or nurture, or both.
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    I was going to include the sentence *obviously* not all women are attracted to "bad guys", however you define that, however it is an objective fact that there is some sort of trend that "bad men" or powerful men are seen as attractive to women. My question was whether this is down to nature or nurture, or both.
    Your claim sounds like what 14 year old boys who are too shy to speak to women say.


    My previous post points out that it's got nothing to do with the person being 'bad'.

    Women, like men, are attracted to a huge variety of traits and when it comes to getting involved with someone we all compromise some of these preferred traits for others. So, while a 'bad guy' may be a dickhead to other people other factors such as confidence, humour etc may be more desirable than the indesirability of being a dickhead.
    Let's say woman A is attracted to the following traits in order of preference:

    humour
    confidence
    facial symmetry
    kindness

    A man with the first three traits but not the last will be more appealing than a man with the first and last trait.

    Of course this example is incredibly simplistic and at best would only correspond to a small fraction of the traits various people find desirable
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    Your claim sounds like what 14 year old boys who are too shy to speak to women say.


    My previous post points out that it's got nothing to do with the person being 'bad'.
    Actually the idea for this post came from a conversation with a girl who loved watching Godfather with me because she loved Al Pacino and said the whole "mafia vibe" was attractive or something a long those lines. I've heard other girls say "there's something about" the "criminal outlaw" type that makes them swoon. And I also know girls who go for sensitive personality over looks. I'm not making a blanket statement or generalisation.

    I was pointing out heterosexual male sexuality is different because male attraction is social darwinistic in the physical sense. Male sexuality is more visual.

    Obviously it might be coincidence that the "criminal" had, as you say, facial symmetry and was confident but clearly the criminal element plays a part and there is a question how much a part of womens condoning the behavior because of the sexual attraction affects the male decision to do the bad behavior in the first place. And if there is an in-equality in sexual attraction, what the best way to tackle it is, for example the institution of marriage, conservative morality or encouraging sexual promiscuity.
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    What makes you think that it's a gender specific trait? Are men not attracted to 'bad girls', perhaps if you can answer your question from the perspective of a man being attracted to a femme fatale or whatever and you'll have your answer.
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    What makes you think that it's a gender specific trait? Are men not attracted to 'bad girls', perhaps if you can answer your question from the perspective of a man being attracted to a femme fatale or whatever and you'll have your answer.
    This is very crude but if you showed a group of men two identical girls dressed as an angel and a demon, and one was poor and one was rich but they both had the same size breasts and the same voluptuous body, would the men prefer one over the other to sleep with? If they were standard heterosexual blokes I doubt it.

    However if you had two identical handsome men, and one is dressed like a "bad boy" and one is dressed ubiquitously, one is rich and one is poor, women would probably prefer the rich man with more character and attitude.

    Obviously female sexuality is different and i don't know to what degree that affects the bad behaviour of men or whether female sexuality is complex and the chauvanist culture and society nurtures women to see powerful men as "attractive" or whatever.

    However if it is natural to an extent it is rational to encourage an institution, like marriage for example, to give women power and to discourage casual sex culturally.

    If sexual attraction and lust is an animalistic urge that results in an in-equality then it is rational to tackle to an extent just like greed is an animalistic urge that results in an in-equality should also be tackled.
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    Worse than "bad guys": Whiny "but I'm such a nice guy" types who are way too busy being all, "Why's she sleeping with that asshole?" instead of checking their own shit.
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    most whiny "nice guys" i know are generally chauvinistic dickheads anyway. i do think some girls are into the whole "bad boy" thing tho but i know some dudes who are irrationally attracted to femme fatales too so w/e
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    What makes you think that it's a gender specific trait? Are men not attracted to 'bad girls', perhaps if you can answer your question from the perspective of a man being attracted to a femme fatale or whatever and you'll have your answer.
    I think men might be attracted to femme fatale type for casual sex just like any physically attractive women and I think heterosexual men would be uninterested in the relationship appeal of a femme fatale.

    Whereas women are apparantley interested in "bad boys' for both casual sex and a relationship. Perhaps some emphasise the relationship more than sex, perhaps some just want casual sex like men and perhaps for some it's a balance.

    Either way men are more visual and male sexuality is probably more straightforward.
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    The Nice Guy routine is some passive aggressive bullshit. Trying being honest and not creepy, the difference will be noticeable.
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    From what I understand women are more attracted to physical characteristics during ovulation for genetic purposes and the rest of the time to emotional characteristics. But that's just based on studies I've read, they could be completely wrong.
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    I think men might be attracted to femme fatale type for casual sex just like any physically attractive women and I think heterosexual men would be uninterested in the relationship appeal of a femme fatale.

    Whereas women are apparantley interested in "bad boys' for both casual sex and a relationship. Perhaps some emphasise the relationship more than sex, perhaps some just want casual sex like men and perhaps for some it's a balance.

    Either way men are more visual and male sexuality is probably more straightforward.
    Most women don't "settle down" with the "bad guy".

    Some do, but generally I think after a while most people desire a stable living environment.

    Anyway, why are people attracted to things like criminality? Cuz that shit's exciting, dude. Admittedly moreso in popular culture than in real life, but there's still a thrill in doing what you're not supposed to do, I think.

    Or maybe there's some evolutionary thing w/ humans recognizing bad people as some unique opportunity to replicate their genes. Who knows. Who cares.
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    Women (read: people in general) like people who are reasonably confident. "bad boys" have confidence in spades.
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    I think men might be attracted to femme fatale type for casual sex just like any physically attractive women and I think heterosexual men would be uninterested in the relationship appeal of a femme fatale.

    Whereas women are apparantley interested in "bad boys' for both casual sex and a relationship. Perhaps some emphasise the relationship more than sex, perhaps some just want casual sex like men and perhaps for some it's a balance.

    Either way men are more visual and male sexuality is probably more straightforward.
    IMO some men and women are attracted to "badness" if it seems exciting or sexy. The thread is female-specific so to my mind the OP's point ultimately fails as the thrill of danger is present in both females and males,
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