The most logical abortion laws

[Sasha]

The most logical abortion laws


We can add Alabama to the growing list of states heaping more and more restrictions on abortion - though their proposal is especially stringent. Three bills (introduced by a Republican, of course) are attempting to "redefine "person" as "any human being from the moment of fertilization or the functional equivalent thereof" — and require that all uses of the word "person" in the state constitution be accompanied by "all humans from the moment of fertilization."

You know, maybe these people have a point. Maybe being ejected from a womb is an arbitrary cutoff point for where life begins. Maybe we do have to take it back to the zygote - the initial cell formed after fertilization. After all, that zygote has the potential to eventually become a human being!

Just like how every egg has the potential to become a zygote, which is why all girls now must constantly attempt to become pregnant after their first period, and any subsequent period will be tried as murder.

And how every sperm has the potential to become a zygote, which is why now all ejaculation except for procreational purposes will be tried as mass murder (though we can downgrade wet dreams to involuntary manslaughter).

And how every ovary and testis has the potential to produce gametes, which is why now any accidents that damage them will be tried as involuntary manslaughter, but voluntary sterilization will be tried as murder.

And how every stem cell has the potential to become a gonad, which is why now all stem cell research will stop immediately, even that done on lab derived adult stem cells.

And how every nutrient you eat has the potential to become a part stem cells, which is why now eating will be illegal. Look, we solved the national obesity epidemic too!

And how many inorganic molecules have the potential to become a nutrient, which is why now moving will be illegal, lest we disturb the fate of an atom to become incorporated into a particularly delicious carbohydrate (which you can't eat, sorry).

And how stars have the potential to produce different elements, which is why... well, I'm not sure if we can do anything about supernovas, so we may have to let that slide for practical reasons.

I know pro-zygoters aren't the best at science, so hopefully this helped them understand their logic a little better. I'm a horrible human being who cares more about adult women than cells and atoms, so I'm going to keep destroying all of these potential humans and looking at photos of supernovas with awe instead of horror.

But good luck to all the pro-zygoters out there in their lifestyle! I know I had a hard time eating less junk food, let alone giving up eating and all mobility. Be sure to let us know how that goes.

http://www.blaghag.com/2011/04/most-...tion-laws.html

[DrStrangelove]

If they're going to insist upon people having to call a zygote a "person," does that mean my sperm is now an entire nation of people? Because, they have the potential to become people.

I wonder when miscarriages will be outlawed as "involuntary manslaughter"

[Sasha]

There are already GOP hardliners actually calling for exactly that, they want to investigate any women who miscarriages for risky behavior (drinking etc) and if found, prosecute.

[agnixie]

If they're going to insist upon people having to call a zygote a "person," does that mean my sperm is now an entire nation of people? Because, they have the potential to become people.

I wonder when miscarriages will be outlawed as "involuntary manslaughter"

In committee in Utah and Georgia. Also I would note that the tea party ran a candidate who thinks masturbation should also be a crime. I figure that wet dreams and not getting pregnant during your period would then be considered involuntary manslaughter as well.

[Bright Banana Beard]

so we have tons of tons of tons of people? Why don't we count them?

[ChrisK]

In committee in Utah and Georgia. Also I would note that the tea party ran a candidate who thinks masturbation should also be a crime. I figure that wet dreams and not getting pregnant during your period would then be considered involuntary manslaughter as well.

And don't forget those horrible life-ending condoms! If you have a communicable disease too bad, we need those potential people alive!

[Fulanito de Tal]

We should really take it to Tampax. They're running a huge cover-up operation with their production of tampons! How are we moral beings supposed to know when women are guilty of aborting eggs (potential zygotes)?

[S.Artesian]

There are already GOP hardliners actually calling for exactly that, they want to investigate any women who miscarriages for risky behavior (drinking etc) and if found, prosecute.

Never underestimate the viciousness, the venality, the meanness of the US petit-bourgeoisie and bourgeoisie.

[agnixie]

We should really take it to Tampax. They're running a huge cover-up operation with their production of tampons! How are we moral beings supposed to know when women are guilty of aborting eggs (potential zygotes)?

The makers of diva cups are hippie mass murderers, like all commies, I knew it

[DrStrangelove]

There are already GOP hardliners actually calling for exactly that, they want to investigate any women who miscarriages for risky behavior (drinking etc) and if found, prosecute.

I think my faith in humanity just died a little on the inside

[Hexen]

This is highly disturbing of what we can be heading towards.

[Sasha]

This is highly disturbing of what we can be heading towards.

I still have good hope its not. Offcourse we need to fight these morons tooth and nail but I really think this kind of extremism are the last outbursts of those in power before they are kicked into the fringe. I know in the US abortion is in a different ballgame than other social issues but see where gayrights are now, would you would've thought 10 years ago that more than half the population would support gaymarraige? That legalization of weed would start to look as an viable possibility. Etc etc.
I realy believe that the US is very slowly creeping towards European social democracy.

[Jose Gracchus]

The U.S. is only improving if you look purely at [some] cultural issues where there are bourgeois who stand to benefit. Bourgeois women and daughters will surely still be able to get all the abortions and contraception they will ever need. Ditto that the gay rights movement is basically totally pushed successfully thanks to the wealthy and privileged homosexuals in the entertainment industry, and it will languish without it [look how they throw their "lesser" brethren off the bus, like transgender people]. In social-economic standards it has been moving to the right since at least Carter, maybe since after Nixon.

[Hexen]

The U.S. is only improving if you look purely at [some] cultural issues where there are bourgeois who stand to benefit. Bourgeois women and daughters will surely still be able to get all the abortions and contraception they will ever need. Ditto that the gay rights movement is basically totally pushed successfully thanks to the wealthy and privileged homosexuals in the entertainment industry, and it will languish without it [look how they throw their "lesser" brethren off the bus, like transgender people]. In social-economic standards it has been moving to the right since at least Carter, maybe since after Nixon.

Yup, it is actually the bourgeoisie who are the real citizens while we the lower classes are nothing more than their slaves (which the bourgeoisie mentality is "why should slaves have any rights? they are to be treated accordingly").