Thread: "Classics" that you can't stand

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  1. #21
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    A Farewell to Arms
    Oh, yeah, that book was pretty shit.
  2. #22
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    Ben Hur
    *shoot me*

    and Shane
    wonderful book, awful movie
    [FONT=Arial]"We are going to inherit the earth . There is not the slightest doubt about that. The bourgeoisie may blast and burn its own world before it finally leaves the stage of history. We Are not afraid of ruins. We who ploughed the prairies and built the cities can build again, only better next time. We carry a new world, here in our hearts. That world is growing this minute." [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial]----Durruti[/FONT]

    [FONT=Arial][/FONT]
  3. #23
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    Firstly, they're not usually considered "classics". Secondly, ban for Tolkien-hating.
    Are you serious? If anything, I would call The Lord of the Rings trilogy "classics"...dull and tedious though they are
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  5. #24
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    I'll third 'Lord of the Flies'. Also, I dislike 'Animal Farm' because I generally find allegory, especially when blatant, quite distasteful. Incidentally, so did Tolkien, who I think is a good, if somewhat overrated, author.

    Hamlet
    Get thee to a nunnery.
    1. Anything written by a Bronte - I'd rather read the Heathcliff comic (Garfield even) than read about Heathcliff the lame-o.
    I haven't read everything written by a Bronte, though Emily was quite bad. As was Jane Austen.

    Though the worst thing occasionally considered a classic is probably T.S. Eliot's writings.
  6. #25
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    As I tell my English Literature Studying House-mate when trying to belittle his degree:

    I don't read story books
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    1. Anything written by a Bronte - I'd rather read the Heathcliff comic (Garfield even) than read about Heathcliff the lame-o.
    If I ever meet you, remind me to smash your face into the concrete repeatedly. I hope you die a horrible painful death you pitiful excuse for a human being. Die fucker, die!
    There were two “Reigns of Terror,” if we would but remember it and consider it; the one wrought murder in hot passion, the other in heartless cold blood; the one lasted mere months, the other had lasted a thousand years; the one inflicted death upon ten thousand persons, the other upon a hundred millions; but our shudders are all for the “horrors” of the minor Terror, the momentary Terror, so to speak; whereas, what is the horror of swift death by the axe, compared with lifelong death from hunger, cold, insult, cruelty, and heart-break? What is swift death by lightning compared with death by slow fire at the stake? A city cemetery could contain the coffins filled by that brief Terror which we have all been so diligently taught to shiver at and mourn over; but all France could hardly contain the coffins filled by that older and real Terror... --- Mark Twain
  8. #27
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    Crime and Punishment. Fuck your christian proto-hipster bullshit, dostoevsky. I won't ever get those hours back.
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  10. #28
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    I tried reading it at 14.

    I was like, WUT

    Firstly, they're not usually considered "classics". Secondly, ban for Tolkien-hating.
    Tolkien sucks ass, despite all of the reactionary messages and shit story in Narnia at least C.S. Lewis is readable.
    And when Marx says, 'Hitherto the philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways', what that 'hitherto' means is not a renunciation of theory and that all we need to do is wade in with our fists and there will be no more need for thought. This idea is in fact fascist, and it would be grossly unjust to Marx to impute such views on him.
    --Theodor Adorno, 'On Theory and Practice'
  11. #29
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    The Time Machine by H. G. Wells.

    In this case, the movie is far better than the book. (though there is more than one film version).
  12. #30
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    Random, you fucking kill me, man. I love Catcher in the Rye and Heart of Darkness. I think Conrad/Marlow in Heart of Darkness not divulging into the 'horror' allows a lot of room for interpretation. Was Kurtz horrified by what he was leaving behind or what he had become? It made it interesting for me, at least.

    And death to whoever doesn't like Vonnegut and Slaughter-House-Five. He's one of my favorite authors. Speaking of that book and the asterik asshole mentioned above, after Christmas I'm getting 'So it goes' with the asshole under it tattooed on my upper back.

    The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn was just plain dull. I think the message was kind of stupid and Huckleberry was just as annoying at the beginning as he turned out to be in the end. Dumb story. Besides that, I am a pretty big fan of classic novels and such. I'll try to think of other ones.
    you have horrible taste in literature. Therefore I will have to take back the promotion to global mod. Sorry, it is nothing personal.
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  14. #31
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    ulysses.....

    pretentious shite
    The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. What matter where, if I be still the same, And what I should be, all but less than he Whom thunder hath made greater?
    Here at least We shall be free
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  16. #32
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    shakespear is good on the other hand...

    but than i have an background in theater, gotta love the bard
    The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. What matter where, if I be still the same, And what I should be, all but less than he Whom thunder hath made greater?
    Here at least We shall be free
  17. #33
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    1984 and Lord of the Flies.

    1984 not so much for political reasons, but I fucking detest the atmosphere the book creates and conveys to the reader. Lord of the Flies because I is my intimate belief that the story and it's characters are silly.
    I actually loved the claustrophobic desperate atmosphere of 1984, but I guess that's just me.

    What I CAN'T stand however, is most Dutch literature, including 'The Discovery of Heaven' and 'Amongst professors'. I utterly detested those petit-bourgois works.

    Also, bloody Jane fucking Austen.

    1. Anything written by a Bronte - I'd rather read the Heathcliff comic (Garfield even) than read about Heathcliff the lame-o.
    I fully agree.

    4. Anything by Milton
    If we are talking about John Milton here, I strongly disagree, I actually like his works.
    I've always seen Milton as comparable to the Dutch Vondel, who's works I actually enjoyed as well.
    "Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit
    Of that forbidden tree..."
    - John Milton -

    "The place of the worst barbarism is that modern forest that makes use of us, this forest of chimneys and bayonets, machines and weapons, of strange inanimate beasts that feed on human flesh"
    - Amadeo Bordiga
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  19. #34
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    vondel?

    wie is het die zo hoog gezeten,
    zo diep in het grondeloze licht,
    van tijd nog eewigheid gezeten,
    nog ronden zonder tegenwicht bij zich bestaat.

    not my cuppa...

    What I CAN'T stand however, is most Dutch literature, including 'The Discovery of Heaven' and 'Amongst professors'. I utterly detested those petit-bourgois works.
    this on the other hand, so true so true
    The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. What matter where, if I be still the same, And what I should be, all but less than he Whom thunder hath made greater?
    Here at least We shall be free
  20. #35
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    Utopia by Thomas More.

    I remember reading this, I think it was even before I became interested in socialism (I say that only because Thomas More is seen by many as a proto-socialist). I first heard of it when watching Ever After, a movie based on Cinderella, where Drew Barrymore's character in the Renaissance period absolutely LOVES the book.

    It's incredibly dystopian. The "utopia" even has slavery. Not much else I can remember, they also have war.
  21. #36
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    Firstly, they're not usually considered "classics". Secondly, ban for Tolkien-hating.
    Lord of the Rings and Silmarillion are written in the most impenetrable prose I've come across leaving aside postmodern theorists. Plus LOTR is revolting petty-bourgeois reactionary crap.

    The Hobbit was good for a children's book, and the LOTR movies are fairly entertaining, but eh. Tolkein was a disgusting excuse for a human being.
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  23. #37
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    I finished reading Hemingway's Fiesta (The Sun Also Rises) and i couldn't figure out what the fuss is all about. I couldn't care about any of the main characters and the story itself seemed a bit vacuous (a bit like how i found Kerouac's On the Road).

    But i'm no Georg Lukacs, so what do i know.
  24. #38
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    Ban yourself and do us all a favor
    Never got into Tolkien either.
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    Wuthering Heights. Just make it go away.
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  27. #40
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    Lord of the Rings and Silmarillion are written in the most impenetrable prose I've come across leaving aside postmodern theorists. Plus LOTR is revolting petty-bourgeois reactionary crap.

    The Hobbit was good for a children's book, and the LOTR movies are fairly entertaining, but eh. Tolkein was a disgusting excuse for a human being.
    I actually love both LOTR and the Silmarillion, but then again, I'm a sucker for stuffy ivory tower prose. LOTR isn't really petit-bourgois, if anything, it's feudalist, get your class distinctions right

    Secondly, Tolkien is a product of his time, a conservative Catholic who happend to have a penchant for Nordic, Celtic and Slavic mythology. Doesn't make him a saint nor a sinner. I enjoy LOTR and Tolkien's works for their style of writing and theatrical themes, not for their political content, which isn't that prominent either.
    "Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit
    Of that forbidden tree..."
    - John Milton -

    "The place of the worst barbarism is that modern forest that makes use of us, this forest of chimneys and bayonets, machines and weapons, of strange inanimate beasts that feed on human flesh"
    - Amadeo Bordiga
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