Things I have learned in high school about communism.

[#FF0000]

25. Communists hate freedom, and enjoy being opressed and enslaved.

I hated hearing this one. I mean, come on, what goes on in my bedroom is my business and has nothing to do with my politics.


FAKE EDIT: Oh dear I think I misunderstood you.

[Robert]

things I have learned about communism in history class.

You are either bullshitting to ingratiate yourself with communists on this board or your teacher needs to be reported to the school board for an enquiry into her credentials and mental health; I have never once heard most of the things on that list, even from ardent anti-communists.

If you can cite us to an approved history textbook that you used where these claims were made, I would like to see it and will apologize for doubting you.

I hope you aren't saying that the teacher merely mentioned these things as examples of absurd claims that have been made by ignoramuses over the years.

[LOLseph Stalin]

One of my teachers in high school actually fought against "the commies" in Vietnam, and often reminded the students of that fact.

In fact, one of the insults he used in class towards students he disliked was "Communist!"

Haha, harsh! Unfortunately I sometimes hear the word "Jew" used as an insult.
It's quite interesting that your teacher was a Vietnam veteran as my grandpa was a Korea veteran. For that reason I can never tell him i'm Communist...

[Jack]

My books "glossary" defines Communism as: A system where the government owns the means of production".

[Coggeh]

As the school year comes to a close I thought I would go over and review the things I have learned about communism in history class.

1. Communism is a religion.
2. Communists enjoy wearing white suits.
3. Communists are all racists.
4. Hitler was a communist.
5. Stalin helped Hitler with the holocaust.
6. Communists want more cameras in the world.
7. Communism is a death cult.
8. Communists enjoy killing people in their leisure time.
9. Communists have odd sexual interests.
10. Communists want to make porn illegal.
11. Communists want to make porn available to everyone everwhere.
12. Communists like the colour red because it symbolizes death.
13. Communists enjoy military parades.
14. Communism is a genetic deformity.
15. Communists hate mopeds.
16. Communists prefer dirt roads over paved roads.
17. Communists enjoy eating rice, cabbage, and stale bread.
18. Communists hate the upper class.
19. Communists hate the middle class.
20. Communists love the working class.
21. Communists spend most of their lives building tanks and AK47s.
22. Communists are always Russian, Chinese, or Cuban.
23. Communism makes money simply stop existing which makes everybody poor.
24. Communism is a disease you can catch from communists.
25. Communists hate freedom, and enjoy being opressed and enslaved.


Just though that would generate a few lols.
BTW this is stuff the history teacher has actually told the student, all jokes aside.

I could tick off a few that are actually true .

This one for example

9. Communists have odd sexual interests.

Weird?yes

Awesome ? Also yes

[LOLseph Stalin]

My books "glossary" defines Communism as: A system where the government owns the means of production".

lolwut?

Even the books hate us!

[GracchusBabeuf]

My books "glossary" defines Communism as: A system where the government owns the means of production".

That is communism because that is what the Soviet Union did. If you disagree with that, it is because you are either

1. Anti-communist
2. Anti-capitalist

[brigadista]

er hate mopeds? what the....? that really is weird

[Jack]

lolwut?

Even the books hate us!

I'm pulling out the book right now, to show you some rediculous things:

Nationalism: A sense of pride and devotion to a nation

Labor Movement: Reform movement working to secure higher wages, shorter hours, and better working conditions. (note how it says "Reform")

Free Speech Movement: Counterculture movement during the 1960's

Division of Labor: When certain people do certain kinds of work

Communists: People who want equal division of wealth and the end of all private property.

Anarchist: Radicals who beleive in the destruction of government.

Spanish Civil War: Spain in the mid 1930's was troubled by fierce political conflict. On the left were Communists. On the right were Fascists and Nationalists. Most Spaniards help political beleifs inbetwen these extremes.

American Reaction (to the Russian Revolution): Many Americans were baffled and frightened by communism. The Soviets called for the overthrow of capitalism. But most Americans embraced the ideals of capitalism, including the freedom to own property. They calued the opportunity to better themselves by hard work or ingenuity.

Every goddamn thing in the book is about "reforms" and "progressivism".

Sucks.

[LOLseph Stalin]

Ok, Jack your book is biased beyond belief. Do you happen to live in a Conservative area by any chance?

[Glorious Union]

You are either bullshitting to ingratiate yourself with communists on this board or your teacher needs to be reported to the school board for an enquiry into her credentials and mental health; I have never once heard most of the things on that list, even from ardent anti-communists.

If you can cite us to an approved history textbook that you used where these claims were made, I would like to see it and will apologize for doubting you.

I hope you aren't saying that the teacher merely mentioned these things as examples of absurd claims that have been made by ignoramuses over the years.

We don't use the text books, everything in history class is taught straight from the mouth of the history teacher. History is so unimportant to our school that they actually get the football coaches to teach it, and they don't know what they are talking about for the most part. If I were to report this to the school board the teacher would not be removed, but would receive a slap on the wrist so that they can say they did something about the problem, and then it would go on like it always did.

And yes, the teacher has said each of these things in class, claiming them to be truth. In fact, I still remember the introduction he made to this unit on communism word for word. He said "Communism is a religion, it is a cult, and it is a method of slavery. In a communistic world you get told where to live, what to eat, and where to work. The government owns everything an everybody. Everyone gets paid the same amount, from janitors to doctors and lawyers. They choose who you get married to and when you get to have sex. Communism is complete control of the government over the people."

er hate mopeds? what the....? that really is weird

Yeah, the teacher actually said that the Communist Vietnam invaded Democratic Vietnam because the democratic side had mopeds and cars, while the communist side beleived that nobody had the right to own such things.

lolwut?

Even the books hate us!

What can you expect? Just look at who wrote them or, better yet, why they wrote them. I don't think they really cared about giving children a proper education in leftist ideas when the text books were written.

[LOLseph Stalin]

And yes, the teacher has said each of these things in class, claiming them to be truth. In fact, I still remember the introduction he made to this unit on communism word for word. He said "Communism is a religion, it is a cult, and it is a method of slavery. In a communistic world you get told where to live, what to eat, and where to work. The government owns everything an everybody. Everyone gets paid the same amount, from janitors to doctors and lawyers. They choose who you get married to and when you get to have sex. Communism is complete control of the government over the people."

This is beginning to sound like 1984 all over again...

What can you expect? Just look at who wrote them or, better yet, why they wrote them. I don't think they really cared about giving children a proper education in leftist ideas when the text books were written.

Yea, true. At least in university next year one of our required readings for first year political science is the Communist Manifesto.

[Jack]

Ok, Jack your book is biased beyond belief. Do you happen to live in a Conservative area by any chance?

The Haymarket Riot: In Haymarket Square in Chicago, crowds gathered to protest violent police action at a strike the day before. Suddenly, someone threw a bomb into the crows. People panicked and gunfire rang out. Before the situation calmed, 11 people lost their lives and more than 100 suffered injuries.
People immediately blamed foreign-born unionists for the violence. The press fanned the flamed of this xenophobia. Police arrested and charged 8 men with conspiracy and murder. All had foreign-sounding names.

[Comrade_XRD]

Yeah, this is all true. I could remember back when I was in middle school and I thought the USSR was some kind of Russian Nazi movement. All I remember was all my history teachers telling my class that Communism is as evil as Nazism and that we shouldn't allow "commies" in the US.

[Pirate Utopian]

My schoolbook doesnt mention anarchism at all not even in the Spanish civil war bit.

[LOLseph Stalin]

My schoolbook doesnt mention anarchism at all not even in the Spanish civil war bit.

My book mentioned both Anarchism and the Spanish Civil War. :P

[Pirate Utopian]

The Spanish civil war is in there, but only really shortly, not even it's own paragraph.

[Hit The North]

American high school sucks. Here in Blighty, my history teacher loaned me his copy of Marx and Engels The Communist Manifesto when I was fourteen. He changed my life.

[LOLseph Stalin]

American high school sucks. Here in Blighty, my history teacher loaned me his copy of Marx and Engels The Communist Manifesto when I was fourteen. He changed my life.

Nice! I had to read it online when I stumbled upon it while researching Communism after hearing my history teacher talk about it.

[Brother No. 1]

Capitalists dont know anything about our Ideal, only from what their goverments have told them, and see us as the "Villains of the world." the american view as they see they are born in a world where " the good guys always win." they see them selfs the hero and the CCCP the villain. the CCCP is acutal the hero for it gave its citizens Human rights as it says in its own consitution. the Soviet Union also doesnt allow discrimation as the Western Countries do. In shot answer: That idea is backwards. Capitalists hate freedom and love to be boss to opress and enslave people.