If you want anything extremely good of Bordiga and that is useful to anyone, read this: http://www.sinistra.net/lib/pro/whyrusnsoc.html He exposes the theory of Russia being a state-capitalist nation.
i read him, starting with whatever seemed interesting. I was drawn in because he was correct
I wouldn't mind calling myself an anarcho-communist either, but to me it sounds vague in terms of what I'm aiming for, so if someone asked me how I plan to get there, maybe I'd reply "armed worker self-defense forces" - but then that approaches my vision of anarcho-syndicalism ^^
You can see a bit of my political evolution in the "About Me" section of my profile. I wouldn't say I'm a pure anarcho-syndicalist, in that I have many economic ideas not found within it, but I still see it as a better foundational blueprint than any other I've come across - either that, or I just don't understand the alternatives well enough ^^
Hopefully the oncoming ecological crisis and the rigorous cycles of capitalism will bring these philosophers into the political world of action. I'm afraid myself of just becoming another Marxist academic... but its attractive because it is safe and docile. I don't think anyone here, Marxist or no (except maybe Rafiq), would condemn your decision. I have often considered it myself even as early into it as I am... I'm not sure I can devote my life to just being a vehicle of class struggle or some kind of political rotation mechanism either. But for now, I guess I'm still green and eager so what have I got to lose?
It's disturbing how accurate the last part of what you said there pertains to myself. Lifestylist philosophy politic is part of the problem plaguing Marxists and all communists today; the theories and the ideologies themselves are so liberating even just attaching oneself to them, because they give you hope and put you at peace with your alienation. It would be brutally ironic to say it but it is almost as though Marxism has become the opium of the masses. I suppose politics in student years are different from politics later though - I don't think Lenin or Marx were agitating aggressively in organised parties for political overhaul in their late teens or early 20s, and many members of this site and many Marxists in the world are around that age or slightly older/younger. It only becomes an issue if you turn into a Marcusse or a Satre (i.e. when you turn the politics into a philosophy entirely).
And as for me, I am sick and tired of devoting my entire life to politics and nothing is happening. I sacrificed my youth studying history and theory to either burn bridges by trying to agitate people to get involved or just do nothing with it in which case, just was simply useless. I am feeling the joy of friends not out of politics, but out of a simple lovely connection, I am dating, getting into fashion, and enjoying the simple things in life in such a wretched and diseased world.
Then there was the generation of 68 which was more of a break from the working class and now started to become more existentialist in nature with individuals such as Sartre and the Frankfurt school, but at least there was some collective action going on, namely the anger and frustration of the youth against the Auschwitz generation and their complacency with what was happening in Vietnam. And there is today. When I ran a SDS branch for my university, the only people I was able to recruit were incredibly sad people, mostly nerds, druggies, feminists who could not fit in our FMLA, and the freaks of society in general. Whenever I talked to them, politics to them seemed to be something for them to cope with their personal alienation and that is not what politics is, that is philosophy.
lol I have given up on Asian nationalism and Marxism. Whenever I get to know most of the radical leftists I meet, the first thing that comes to mind is alienation, but less so the alienation of labor and more of an existential crisis. Whenever I see old photos and read about Marxists in the early 20th century, the impression I get is a bunch of workers who feel they deserve much more in a society of extreme wealth but paradoxically, extreme poverty.
And my God, there were the Third World Maoists. The Maoists in Burma were pretty cool, they launched a very brave struggle against the Burmese state which was borderline fascist but when reading what they were all about, they were batshit crazy, immune to sectarianism and even had their own Cultural Revolution. The Shining Path were like the Nardoniki, privileged students who talked about peasant life only to massacre them in the end. The Naxalites are interesting. There have been many different phases but the recent struggle is something that deserves support when the Indian state has proven to be more than happy to massacre thousands of innocents and to sell their territory to international corporations but when you look into the political structure, it is the same old cultism. What about Maoism in China today? I was initially pretty excited to see rebellious communists but when you listen to the rhetoric, the best comparison I could think of was the TEA Party here in the US.
Have-Nots = Gonna-Gets
Avant-Garde Marxist
Benned
Red Devil