An Untitled Quick-Writing bit

  1. #FF0000
    #FF0000
    A friend and I decided to write a page or so of a story to waste 15 minutes of time. First thing I've written in a long time, so, tell me what you think so I can get back in the swing of things.

    ~~~~~~

    He was from Nebraska, born and raised on a farm out in the middle of nowhere, living his entire life without knowing anything but hard work, the plains, and the cloudless blue sky. He lived his entire life on that farm, with his grandparents, helping them with the toil and labor that comes with being a farmer. Other than the wild blue sky stretching out over the entirety of God’s earth, and the dusty black and white television that never really worked, he had no clue that there was a world beyond the farm, other than the town, where he’d go only to sell his produce and to go to school. He was a nice enough guy. Very religious and serious about his bible, he was, though he never really liked to talk about it. All the boy was concerned with was his grandparents and living as honestly and as humbly as he could. This simple life was all he knew, and he was honestly and fully content with it all.
    Of course things can’t stay that way. Sometime in his teenage years, he met a nice girl. Her name, like his, isn’t important. What’s important is that he just might have really liked her. It turned out that she liked him as well. They hit it off, and things went well for a good couple of years, until around the guy hit 17. Here’s where things get ugly. Nothing is easy.

    Around the time he turns 17, the trouble starts up. According to a truck driver at the local diner, the trouble started up in the northeast. In the cities. And according to that truck driver, that trouble was headed “this way”.

    Over the next few days the kid started seeing the pictures in newspapers and showing through the fuzz of the t.v. that didn’t really work. What was the trouble was never really clear to him, but he had been told that, apparently, everything he knew in life was at risk. His home, his family, his religion and her. The President came on TV and said this himself, after all. The only choice a boy like him had, said the President, was to go, pick up a rifle, and enlist.always planned to go into the army. That girl he liked probably cried. Maybe she didn't, and maybe she understood. I wish I could believe it, but I don’t think anyone can begin to understand this. I know I can’t, and I know this boy in some dead man's uniform doesn’t understand it either.

    He sits on a stump, gun in his lap and apple in hand, and he takes in the scenery of the dead winter forest. Taking a deep breath and a bite of the apple, he rests his arm on his knee again, enjoying the peace of his surroundings. Another sigh, followed by another bite of the apple, and he reaches into his uniform for the postcard his girl sent him. After so much fighting, finally, a moment of peace.

    My crosshair lowers over his head and I fire.

    You could say that I missed, I guess. The bullet finds its home in his chest, rather than in his head, so Instead of dying instantly, he lies in the snow, with a spring of life spurting out of him. He lies there, struggling for breath with legs and arms outstretched, staring up at the wild blue above, and I hope the sight, along with the picture of his girl at his side, made him feel at home, and that the fact that he was dying alone never struck him. I hope this more for my sake than for his.

    End
  2. Dust Bunnies
    So what was coming?
  3. #FF0000
    #FF0000
    "The war".

    I never really clarified since I didn't think it was too important
  4. Dust Bunnies
    Lol. Alien invasion? :P
  5. #FF0000
    #FF0000
    Lol. Alien invasion? :P
    If you want. I was thinking more along the lines of civil war and social unrest, but hey! To each their own.
  6. which doctor
    What, no erotica?
  7. Dust Bunnies
    From a super-Christian farmboy? Its like asking the guy who made briefs if he wears boxers.
  8. which doctor
    From a super-Christian farmboy?
    But that would've made it even better.
  9. apathy maybe
    Nice, really nice. I think you did a really good job there.

    You don't need to specify anything more, this trouble is obvious to me (revolution baby...) .

    Only one problem,
    My crosshair lowers over his head and I fire.

    You could say that I missed, I guess. The bullet finds its home
    When I first read this, I thought it said crossbow... Man, and then I read it again and copied and pasted it here. Then I read it the third time and saw it said crosshair. Meh.

    Yeah, really good.