[FONT=Arial Narrow]The Xenu Myth in a Nutshell...[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow](AKA 'Space Opera', 'Incident II', 'The Wall of Fire', or 'OT:III')[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]Warning!!! According to LRH the revelation of OT:III is so awesome, so profound that anyone exposed to it who has not taken the prerequisite Scientology courses could develop serious health complications, including pnuemonia. In some cases, it could even be fatal!!! Proceed at your own risk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]Author's Note: If, in fact, you survive unharmed, or only suffer minimal psychic, or physiological trauma, you should be pleased to note that you are receiving the awesome wisdom of OT:III, valued at over 107,000.00$, (It costs at least $100,000 to reach OT:III, the wisdom of OT:III, itself, is only about a paltry $6,500.) absolutely free. You're welcome![/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]According to LRH, Xenu was the overlord of the 'Galactic Confederacy' 75 million years ago. The Galactic Confederacy was comprised of 76 planets (Including Earth, which the Confederates called 'Teegeeack.') and 26 stars. The Galactic Confederacy, whose fashions and architecture were remarkably similar to the popular style of the 1960's, had a serious overpopulation problem. Most of the Confederate planets had populations of nearly 180 billion![/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]With his political power threatened, Xenu, along with his psychiatrists, lured billions of Confederates into a trap, under the benign pretense of income tax inspections. The aliens were paralyzed and frozen with a compound made of glycol and alcohol to freeze their souls. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]The frozen aliens were then loaded into spacecraft that had an uncanny resemblance to military DC-8 aircraft, bound for Teegeeack.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]Once they reached Earth/Teegeeack, the frozen aliens were strategically placed around active volcanoes. For the coup-de-grace, Xenu had hydrogen bombs lowered into the volcanoes and detonated them, killing the frozen aliens!!! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]The dead alien spirits, called 'Thetans' rose from the ashes of the mushroom clouds, upwards towards the sky. Alas, Xenu had erected an 'electronic ribbon' which trapped the poor Thetans! Then, the Thetans were transported to Hawaii and the Canary Islands, where they were forced to watch 36 hours of 3D propaganda films! The films used to brainwash the Thetans are the source of all earthly religions (Except Scientology, of course.) and ideas about god, heaven, hell, etc. Last, but not least, the Thetans' minds were erased. After this final insult, the mindless Thetans floated about, and were absorbed into the bodies of early humans. These Thetans are the primary source of all physical illness and unhappiness that plague everyone, except for Scientologists, who have been trained in the complex techniques to remove these dead alien spirits.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]Alas, Xenu's machinations proved to be fruitless, a faction known as the Loyal Officers staged a coup and deposed him. Xenu was captured and imprisoned in an 'electronic mountain trap.' However, given all the unpleasantness with the Thetans, the new leaders of the Galactic Confederacy declared Teegeeack/Earth to be 'off limits.'[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]The End[/FONT]