Mental/emotional reactions in learning

  1. Landsharks eat metal
    Landsharks eat metal
    I don't know if anybody is going to see this post or have any way to help me, but I'll try anyway. I really feel like I should be learning some sort of self-defense but I'm kind of scared to. I think I know of where I can attend free lessons in a reasonably safe environment, but I'm really hesitant, for a few reasons:
    1. I used to take taekwondo but quit because I was embarrassingly bad at it and was tired of it making me feel fat and ugly all the time.
    2. I can't really safely bind my chest while working out and it's impossible to hide without binding (shouldn't be too much of a problem since it's an LGBT space but that doesn't make me feel any better about myself)
    and most importantly
    3. I don't know how I'll react to seeing the techniques done or having them done on me or whatever. I feel threatened and sort of panicky when I even see people jokingly pushing each other (one of the reasons I want to learn self-defense in the first place) and I can't imagine me not being at all bothered by what goes on in a self-defense class. These reactions are relatvely new, not happening back when I was doing TKD, but I've only just started to be able to work through things and have no idea how long it will take.

    Has anybody ever dealt with that sort of emotional reaction in a self-defense or martial arts class? Any suggestions on how to deal (besides curling up in a corner hiding, which would probably be my initial response)? Or even any suggestions on my other two issues?
  2. Landsharks eat metal
    Landsharks eat metal
    I know the title sucks but this is a weirdass question and kind of hard for me to ask, so I didn't really know how else to word it.
  3. BIXX
    BIXX
    I am sorry for the late response and I know you'll probably never see it, but I recommend explaining to your instructor that you might have issues with the simulation of violence and asking for advice. Another thing that I have heard helps is trying to act more confident in general in your life (which, I know, not easy, I'm in the shitty boat when it come to that). But I think that'll help you deal with your emotions in this situation. Also, I think a general look into how to deal with emotions properly would probably help.

    Good luck to you and anyone who reads this.
  4. Landsharks eat metal
    Landsharks eat metal
    Thanks for your advice! I'm pretty late on responding too lol
    Those are good ideas. I need them a little less now which is awesome, but I probably won't have too much of a chance to use them in terms of self-defense/martial arts any time soon, which is less awesome.