Genderqueer?

  1. Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    I've been interested in gender and that sort of thing lately, and I was reading specifically about genderqueer. I began to think that I might even be genderqueer, but I'm not totally sure.

    A few months back, I had this weird day where I thought I might be transgender. It made me remember a lot of things in my past that made me think it, like that when I was maybe 5 or 6, I tried crossdressing once or twice, although I suppose that could just be the usual curiosity that kids that young have. A short time after, I decided that I probably wasn't transgender, but the feelings have come back ocassionally. I don't think I'll ever switch sexes, but I figure maybe it's a small part of me.

    I've also never felt much like either gender, in the sense of general gender roles.

    I don't know a whole lot about this stuff, so I may have phrased some things incorrectly, but hopefully you understand what I mean.

    So, is that genderqueer? From what I understand, it sounds like it, but I'm not sure. If not, is there a name for it?
  2. TheGodlessUtopian
    TheGodlessUtopian
    From what you described I would say Genderqueer, yes. I am not sure that the things that you did as a child have much meaning, as the feelings were never intense and could be written off as simple curiosity, but I think it says something that they have persisted.

    One can be Transgender without ever undertaking a sex-change operation. Likewise there is a difference between a cross-dresser and a Transgender individual. The two have cross-over, in the sense that someone is wearing the clothes "appropriate" for the opposite gender, but the real difference lies in, I think, the inner desire: meaning, the need to actively wear such clothes in order to feel as though you are being the real you.If you haven't felt this need then you are probably not Transgender.

    You said you never felt much like either gender. This means you never truly felt like a "man" or a "woman" and have no desire to function in your day-to-day life following either set of gender roles; whether it is fashion, purpose, or labor, you feel more comfortable simple being you and doing what you most enjoy regardless of which gender it is "suppose" to be meant for.

    If this is how you feel in your life, though I am not entirely certain since I think more information needs to be given to say for sure, than I would say you are genderqueer.
  3. Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    Thanks comrade, that was very helpful! I'm pretty sure that's what I am now. So when you say some transgender people never have the surgery, is it that they don't feel 100% the other sex, just like it's a part of them, and they don't feel the need to change?
  4. TheGodlessUtopian
    TheGodlessUtopian
    Thanks comrade, that was very helpful! I'm pretty sure that's what I am now. So when you say some transgender people never have the surgery, is it that they don't feel 100% the other sex, just like it's a part of them, and they don't feel the need to change?
    Well, it is different for everyone but when I was speaking with Transgender people during last year's C2EA youth caucus they talked about how by wearing clothes which they identified with, using make-up, and by having smaller surgical operations (breast implements, for instance) they were able to feel secure with themselves to the point where going through the hassle of undertaking the operation wasn't for them at the moment. I am sure they identified with the other sex completely but it is just that by altering their appearance to match who they felt they didn't need the operation (legally speaking, one can have their gender changed on important documents, such as your driver's license, without having the operation. Though you should check with your state's laws).

    I want to say that feelings of gender affiliation and genderqueer are two different identities in the sense that Transgender people feel a strong need to transition, in some manner, to the gender which they feel they belong to while genderqueer people are content with "belonging" to neither and doing what pleases them gender-wise (as in everything which is segregated by gender, including physical appearance). The genderqueer people I know look neither female nor male (but I did date one who, due to family circumstances, had a more masculine look). I would say that the differentiation is that Genderqueer people reject gender entirely while Transgender people accept gender (though this may be an oversimplification to those who identify as such).
  5. Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    So I thought more about it, and I remembered when I was in middle school, there was a period where I think I really wanted to be a woman. I didn't know much, if anything about transgenderism, so I just tried to make myself think I was a man. I imagined myself as a woman sometimes, or thought that just wanted to be one more. It didn't stick though, and I feel like I switch back and forth. It think thats bigender. I don't think I want to switch genders, but I don't think I especially feel genderless. I'm pretty in between. I've never considered cross dressing, but I suupose that's because I never thought that I might be a woman until recentley, and I didn't think it would be something I would want to do.
  6. TheGodlessUtopian
    TheGodlessUtopian
    There are many different identities, some which I am sure I do not know about. Generally speaking I would say not to do anything until you have a strong desire but at the same time sometimes you need a boost. It sounds like that you should consider doing some cross-dressing, at whatever level, to see how it feels and then take it from there; see how you feel when you look in the mirror, in society, and so forth. The primary step for any of us is to discover and sometimes we must prod ourselves a little.
  7. Landsharks eat metal
    Landsharks eat metal
    Yeah, Godless already covered a lot of it, so I don't really have much to add to this but a note of encouragement because I went through almost the exact same thing. I remember feeling like I should have been born male as a child but I was ashamed, so I repressed it and never told anyone, but it eventually became too much to ignore. At that point, I was still strongly in denial about feeling actually male (I think I was somehow "afraid to commit" in some sense) but my gender identity kept moving further to the male side until I decided, fuck it, I'm FTM

    I don't know if any of this is at all helpful, but good luck in working through everything. Just keep an open mind to whatever may come up in your thoughts and remembrances and you can talk to me about anything.
  8. Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    Jesus Saves Gretzky Scores
    Don't worry Godless, I'm not planning on running out for a sex change. As for cross-dressing, it could be worth trying. It might be a little weird at first, but there it could be helpful.

    I appreciate the input Landsharks. I can relate to that repression, although maybe mine wasn't so strong, I probably didn't know much, if anything about transgenderism back then, so I thought I should just try to feel male. And if have any questions, I'll be sure to ask, thanks!
    I assume, unless I have some random change of heart, I'll probably stay the same sex, but there will still be a part of me that has feels female. I can't tell you both how much I appreciate this. I'll keep researching and asking around other places for some opinions.