My ***** girlfriend claims to be socialist??? - To trounce t

[Jarvis Cocker]

My ***** girlfriend claims to be socialist???
To trounce the pseudo socialist!


[Personal Preface]
By no stretch of the most twisted and utterly sick imagination am I a socialist. After great deliberation a small, empty part of my brain has, however, slowly began to grow a shred of sympathy for the deprived, pitiable and deplorable working classes’ faith in such a seemingly buoyant ideology. For the most part I am intransigent and opposed to social change in any given measure.

Here, my dear friends, is my plight: My knee-jerk girlfriend, who at times appears to be curbed in the embryonic stage of cognitive development, conveys herself as your typical stanch left-wing adherent. Judge her not by face value, my good men; she is nothing of the sort - she is a fraud; a pseudo socialist! I have tried with great effort and sincere diligence to profess to her this obvious flaw. Contending that her Red Stars and Hammer and Sickle patches etc. are of no greater deference then a swastika if she does not practice the principals in which they embody. She listens not. She was begot a rich, white product of the suburbs. Both of her Parents inherited their wealth from their parents who were rich industrialists. She does not work because she is not economically dependent upon an income of her own. She does not even care to read the likes of Marx/Engles or Chomsky of any of the typical anti-American, Anti-Imperialist, Anti-capitalist authors that plague our bookshelves. She is an ignoramus and it sickens me. Though this ghastly sense of ailment is overridden by her violent beauty, I still wish to alleviate it. Comrades, how am I to trounce the pseudo-socialist of her evil and demonic ways? I would be delighted if she was a practicing socialist, but I can not condone the contrary.

Let us unite and win, good men....
I wish to marry her an make her produce some healthy male heirs!

[Millennium]

You are a strange person.

--Mark

[Jarvis Cocker]

Dismal child, why so bitter?

(Edited by Jarvis Cocker at 5:23 am on June 1, 2003)

[Millennium]

...Never mind, you're probably simply attention starved.

--Mark

[Jarvis Cocker]

I concur.
My inquiry has received far too little attention.
I demand 5000 replies!

[Zombie]

Either you keep entertaining yourself with that woman of yours, in any ways imaginable, and forget about her (poor) political views, or break the bonds that tie the both of you together, and get on with your life!

Or do you want to re-educate her so she can politically side with you, for now and till death do you apart!?
How old is the young thing? And you?

[Jarvis Cocker]

We are both 17.

I am not a domineering boyfriend. I do not wish to persuade her to politically side with me…I have experienced the girlfriend who tries to conform to your every whim for any given unexplainable leap in logic…that is the last thing I want.
I simply want her to “pursue” whatever political beliefs best comply with where she stands politically…
If she pawns her self off as a socialist, I would feel more comfortable, and believe that she would to, if she followed up on the ideology, its origins, its significance, its vices, its virtues…and so forth...so she could atleast be a tad educated as to what she's blindly endorsing. I say, if you’re going to act the part – the least you can do is learn your fucking lines.

You feel me?

[Urban Rubble]

You are one weird fucker.

First, you seem to have quite a distaste for socialism/communism, yet you call us comrades and date a girl who is at least a wannabe commie.

Second, she's your girlfiend yet you call her a *****.

I do understand what you are saying though, if you are going to flaunt your ideology, at least know what the fuck you are talking about.

I guess I "feel you".

[Zombie]

First, you seem to have quite a distaste for socialism/communism, yet you call us comrades and date a girl who is at least a wannabe commie.

Second, she's your girlfiend yet you call her a *****.

hehe ;)

Yeah man I hear you; if you want to talk the talk, then you gotta walk the walk. ;)

How to make her see this, is beyong me, I don't know your girlfriend, but I think if you talked to her about this, maybe you could both work it out? What does she think of your opinion regarding her beliefs?

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Cock, if I may call you that, the fact that your girlfriend is wealthy, does not impede her from being a Communist.
The fact that you are a capitalist, does impede you from being my comrade.
Cock, if your girlfriend is a *****, why do date her?
The best thing to do is not take her politics seriously untill she at least reads the Manifesto.
Cock, you seem to be a chauvinist, judging from your name, and when you said I wish to marry her an make her produce some healthy male heirs!
Is something the matter with female heirs?
Cock, why are you fascinated with ignorance, why do you insult the prescence of socialist literature?
Can't you at least appreciate, or respect their insight?
Are you that arrogant, Cock?
Have you ever tried listening to your girlfirend?
Cock, maybe she is a legitimate Communist.
Just because she is rich, does not read, and is an heir to much wealth, doesn't mean she can't be a commie.

[Xvall]

.....

[Jarvis Cocker]

Quote: from Victorcommie on 6:22 pm on June 1, 2003
Cock, if I may call you that, the fact that your girlfriend is wealthy, does not impede her from being a Communist.
The fact that you are a capitalist, does impede you from being my comrade.
Cock, if your girlfriend is a *****, why do date her?
The best thing to do is not take her politics seriously untill she at least reads the Manifesto.
Cock, you seem to be a chauvinist, judging from your name, and when you said I wish to marry her an make her produce some healthy male heirs!
Is something the matter with female heirs?
Cock, why are you fascinated with ignorance, why do you insult the prescence of socialist literature?
Can't you at least appreciate, or respect their insight?
Are you that arrogant, Cock?
Have you ever tried listening to your girlfirend?
Cock, maybe she is a legitimate Communist.
Just because she is rich, does not read, and is an heir to much wealth, doesn't mean she can't be a commie.


I agree that wealth that does impede one from being a socialist…
If I’m not mistaken Engles came from a Wealthy background did he not?
On the contrary,
Blindly endorsing a hammer & sickle doesn’t make you a socialist either.
It makes you a poser; a pseudo-socialist.

Jarvis Cocker is actually the name of the lead singer of a British band named "PULP." Popularized by their hit song "common people," Pulp is often regarded as a socialist band. It's too bad really, they're quite good.

Infact, I encourage you all to download "common people" the song tells a tale somewhat similar to the one presently under debate.

[Jarvis Cocker]

Jarvis:

http://www.geocities.com/timessquare/hangar/1908/Jarvis20.jpg



(Edited by Jarvis Cocker at 9:57 pm on June 1, 2003)

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Cock, she might still be a socialist, just because she has't read socialist literature, doesn't mean she can't be a socialist. Just because she wears hamer and sickles doesn't mean she's an illegitimate socialist.

[Moskitto]

it's not her job to make male heirs, that's your job, it's the most obvious thing about genetics.

[El Che]

Your idiocy is quite annoying, Jarvis Cocker. Hey, at least you provoke a reaction.

[dopediana]

dear dear dear.

if any guy i was having physical relations with talked about me the way you talk about your girlfriend, online or otherwise, i'd dump the lousy fucker the minute i found out. so the only thing that keeps you with her is that she's "violently beautiful?" you are a turd of the lowest nature.

well, be she a poser or not, it's still one point for us and one point detracted from where your politics stand. have a nice life.

[Jarvis Cocker]

She is not a practicing socialist. Perhaps none of you are…a true testament to why the movement is so botched.

The amaryllis: Yes, the only thing that keeps me involved within this relationship is her violently good looks. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but something tells me you haven't much experience with either....just a hunch.
If I dumped every female as a result of their stupidity, I would be as lonely and pitiful as you.

I think I'll go call the whore now, get her to give me some HEAD.

[CruelVerdad]

If you dont like this attitude from her by being an pseudo-socialist, how is it that you wanna get married with her?
The only way she is going to change if you attack her by asking questions of basic socialism-communism, she won´t know the answers and will feel that she needs to read more and get more into this ideology.
If this doesnt work, just remember that many people pretend to act and think like a real socialist, but they are poor of intelect and idealism...
Ignore her...

Hope it works!

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

Cock, you are a very chauvinistic and shallow bastard who lacks profoundity and understanding.

If I dumped every female as a result of their stupidity, I would be as lonely and pitiful as you.

Are you saying you are glad that you don't dump girls according to their stupidity, what do dump girls according to? Their looks? Either way, you are a shallow bastard. Neither have something to do with true affection, but you probably wouldn't know that, now would you, Cock? I think the mods have a half a mind to ban you if you say another chauvinistic remark like that.

[Jarvis Cocker]

I’m not a male chauvinist. I was trying to be acerbic to make friends. Truthfully, she is the most magnificent girl of all time, despite her dim-wits. This minor flaw is all I wish to eradicate. Everything else I am extreamly grateful for. Obviously I am not as superficial as I have conveyed, it would be contradictory to my entire plight.

CruelVerdad,
Thank you for your advice, good man... I will try that.

[Beccie]

If I dumped every female as a result of their stupidity, I would be as lonely and pitiful as you.

What the fuck is that suppose to mean? Are you trying to suggest that females, in general, are stupid?

[Zombie]

You want to eradicate her minor flaws? How about trying to live with them, knowing that you too have minor flaws of your own!?? Nobody is perfect after all, right?

[Ghost Writer]

You should use her for sex. Dump her. Then find someone whose mind does not sicken you.

Never marry someone who does not deserve your respect, especially since you are male. You relationship will ultimately end in disaster, and the courts have an obvious bias towards women in divorce proceedings, at least in the United States. She will ruin you just because she can, especially if your marriage was not built on trust and respect to begin with.

I am not sure that I could have a long term relationship with somebody whose views I despise. However, if I was not attatched, and the opportunity for casual sex occurred, I would even do a psuedo-socialist. That is, if she promised not to talk to me.

[Moskitto]

You should use her for sex. Dump her. Then find someone whose mind does not sicken you.

that bit seems morally wrong...

everything else about divorce courts is true though.

[dopediana]

thank you for banning him. what a waste of posts he was...


i'd like to sic the spice girls on him.

[Moskitto]

Spice Girls suck and should be shot, I bought one of their albums specifically to have the pride that i destroyed it :)

[Dirty Commie]

The spice girls have been gone for a while, I think they broke apart.

[Moskitto]

some of them aren't that bad on their own, just the group was shit.

[dopediana]

frankly, i don't like the spice girls either. i just said it because they were all "yay! girl power!" and shit like that.

sorry if i was misleading

[Moskitto]

i remember they did the new England song in 98 and it was so crap that at the England Portugal friendly when it was first played everyone started singing 3 lions and drowned out the speakers.

[Invader Zim]

Quote: from the amaryllis on 9:35 pm on June 2, 2003
frankly, i don't like the spice girls either. i just said it because they were all "yay! girl power!" and shit like that.

sorry if i was misleading


The spice girls were so bad I almost wanted become a male chovanist pig, just so I could go against every thing they stood for.

Spice Girls + shotgun = thats, what I want, what i really really want.

Haha I crack my self up i really do.

[Moskitto]

Spice Girls, Steps and S Club 7 are the worst bands of all time, the worst type of music is rap, it isn't even music.

[RAGING BULL]

You mean rap on MTV, dont you?

[Moskitto]

i mean the type of rap with "hey 1 2 1 2" "hold up" "get with the massive" "louis is a rasta gangsta" the sort of shit which doesn't even count as music.