I have found similarities between retards and nazis

[HonkMyDooser]

As you may know, (unless, of course you are a retarded nazi) that I have found similarities between Nazis and retarded people. Here are 66 of them:

·Nazis shave their heads to demonstrate solidarity with the white race.
·Retards have their heads shaved to prevent lice.
·Nazis conquered Europe with large Panzer tanks.
·Retards dominate the playground with large steel wheelchairs.
·Ever notice how the Nazi salute and a retard's chest-thumping arm spasm are alike?
·"Sieg Huuuuuhhhhh!"
·Nazis want their own separate homeland, away from the lesser peoples.
·Retards already have their own homeland: their own wing of the school and their own special buses.
·Nazis pinned bright, imposing medals to their chests to commemorate their many military campaigns and victories.
·Retards pin bugs, post-it notes, safety pins, and bits of yesterday's lunch to their chests because they don't know any better.
·Nazis like beating up people.
·Retards like beating off on people.
·Nazis especially like beating up "mud people".
·Retards especially like eating mud pies.
·Nazis often have tattoos on their arms and chest to show their undying racial loyalty.
·Retards often have marks on their arms, chest, and face from being allowed to play with the magic markers.
·Nazis march in large, noisy, goose-stepping lines.
·So do retards.
·Nazis like to lock people into small rooms and gas them.
·Retards like the smell of their own gas.
·A Nazi likes to salute with his forearm extended and fingers pointed straight to show his unwavering passion and allegiance.
·Retards like to stick their arm out to show you how proud they are of the booger they just pulled out of their nose... before eating it.
·Nazis conducted terrible experiments on humans... like grafting a bull's testicles onto a man.
·Retards try to replace the egg yolk with whipped cream... only to decide it's really macaroni.
·Nazis gather socially to sing "Deutchland Uber Alles".
·Retards gather socially to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
·Nazis burn books.
·Retards try to set their farts on fire.
·Many Nazis lead "double lives" and actually work and function within society.
·Many retards rinse off the urinal cakes at Denny's.
·Nazis shout "White Power!"
·Retards shout "Pooped my pants!"
·Nazis want to exterminate all those non-Aryan people.
·Retards want to exterminate all those invisible people wielding sharp forks.
·Nazis traditionally speak with a thick, Slavic accent.
·Retards traditionally speak with a thick, slobbery accent.
·Nazis want to lock up all the Jews, gypsies, and homosexuals.
·Retards lock themselves under the bathroom sink.
·Nazis think they should only breed with other Nazis.
·Retards can only get some with other retards.
·In 1936, Jesse Owens humiliated the German Nazis and Adolf Hitler in the Berlin Summer Olympics by outrunning the Aryan Germans and taking the gold.
·In 1994, 451 retards humiliated themselves in the Special Olympics by running straight into a brick wall.
·In WWII, the German Nazis almost defeated Great Britain by bombing them in air raids.
·Every night, the retards of the house get together to drop slinkies and rolled-up socks down the stairs.
·Nazis often walk with a swagger stick.
·Retards often walk with crutches.
·In the 1930's and 40's, thousands of people joined the Nazi party in Germany out of nationalistic pride.
·In the 1960's and 70's, thousands of people declared themselves as retards to avoid going to Vietnam.
·Nazis just love to sit down and discuss "Mein Kampf" for hours.
·Retards just love to sit down and discuss "my crotch" for hours.
·Nazis created mass graves of exterminated Jews in Eastern Europe.
·Some retards keep mass collections of earwax under the matress.
·Nazis often wore brown uniforms.
·Retards often wear brown underwear.
·Some Nazis believe that Hitler is really God and is going to come back.
·Retards believe that if they keep knocking their own teeth out, the Tooth Fairy will keep coming back.
·Nazis were constantly taught the importance of eugenics.
·Retards are constantly reminded to be hygenic.
·Nazism was born out of Germany in the 30's.
·In the 90's David Hasselhoff is #1 in Germany. RETARDS!!!!
·Nazis button the collars of their uniforms all the way to the top.
·Retards button the collars of their flannel shirts all the way to the top.
·Good Nazis get medals.
·Good retards get happy-face stickers.
·Really good Nazis get the Iron Cross.
·Really good retards figure out how to get their eyes uncrossed.
·Nazis tend to dress up in leather collars and harnesses after dark.
·Retards tend to be restrained in leather collars and harnesses after dark.
·In 1944, Roemmel ordered Nazi forces to pull out of Africa.
·Jerry, a tard, just pulled a month-old M&M out of his ass.
·Many Nazis were actually saddened by the news of Hitler's death.
·Many retards were saddened by the news of Mr. Hooper's death.
·Some Nazis maintained a pagan reverence for magical, flying valkyries.
·Some retards maintain a pagan reverence for magical, flying Teletubbies.
·Adolf Hitler and the Nazis produced the first Volkswagen.
·Retards puke in Volkswagens... and about everything else that has four wheels.
·Nazis going into battle wore distinctive steel helmets.
·Retards going down stairs wear distinctive football helmets.
·Adolf Hitler was also an artist.
·Retards sculpt horses and pigs out of mashed potatoes.
·Nazis like all things Teutonic.
·Retards like to toot.
·In 1945, Nazi Germany agreed to peace, ending WWII.
·In 1998, Sammy (a tard) agrees to quit sticking his finger into the birdcage.
·Nazis froze to death when attempting to invade Russia in the winter.
·Retards tend to run around naked in the snow.
·Nazis suffocated Jews in gas chambers.
·Retards tend to suffocate themselves in abandoned refrigerators.
·Some scholars argue that modern Nazis are outcasts of society who have not completely developed or matured socially.
·BINGO!
·Nazis, when armed with the tools of modern medicine, want to see all retards sterilized or exterminated.
·Retards, when left alone with pointy things, tend to sterilize or exterminate themselves.
·Nazis fastidiously polish their boots.
·Retards fastidiously polish their tennis shoes.
·Nazis are willing to take on any task to further their cause.
·Retards do not need to take their cause any further.
·Nazis enjoy simple German fare... Grandmuter's potato soup, hearty bratwurst, and strong ale.
·Retards enjoy simple cafeteria fare... mashed green beans, meatloaf jello, and chocolate milk.
·The Nazis helped produce the greatest war of this century.
·Retards have helped produce some of the greatest wards of this century.
·Nazis often carried Lugers at their belts.
·Retards often have loogeys on their shirts.
·Nazis are often recruited by a large, bald, gruff father figure.
·Retards are often cared for by a large, bald, gruff orderly.
·Nazis bang their heads to ear-splitting heavy metal music.
·Retards bang their heads when Mr. Rogers sings, "Won't you be my neighbor".
·Nazis drag hapless victims from behind their cars.
·Retards drag used toilet paper from behind their shoes.
·Nazis used the eagle in many of their insignia.
·Retards love Big Bird t-shirts.
·Nazis often left their homes in the care of big-boned disciplinarian housewives.
·Retards are often left in the care of big-boned disciplinarian aides.
·When threatened, Hitler hid in a bunker.
·When threatened, retards hide in the closet.
·Nazis were easily enraged by the adventures of Indiana Jones.
·Retards are easily amused by the music of Spike Jones.
·Nazis are epitomized by Pat Buchannan.
·Retards are epitomized by Pat from Saturday Night Live.
·Nazis believe the state should run every aspect of its citizens' lives.
·Retards pretty much need the state to run every aspect of their lives.
·In the Atlantic Ocean, Nazi U-boats terrorized the shipping lanes.
·In the bathtub, retard floaties terrorize rubber ducky and other tubbie toys.
·Nazis spit on Jews.
·Retards spit up their juice.
·Nazis wanted to get their fingers on Jewish gold.
·Retards use their fingers when digging for gold.
·Nazis forced Jews to wear badges indicating their religion. (a yellow Star of David)
·Retards put badges on themselves indicating their deficiency. ("mY Nayme is SKipppY")
·Nazis were good at following orders.
·Retards are good at taking your order.
·A Nazi's greatest ambition is to clean the human gene pool.
·A retard's greatest ambition is to clean the swimming pool.

[Ian]

You put a lot of Effort into that comrade, good work, I like retards though! :)

[Zombie]

Define RETARD for us all please.

And what the fuck is this doing in Che's section?? where are the moderators for this forum?

[El Barbudo]

Pretty funny, but Retards arent retarded by choice, like nazi are nazis by choice.

[Comrade Gorley]

You're both.

That's a very bigoted and cruel apporach, and in addition it wasn't remarkably funny.

I was sad when Mr. Hooper died. He was cool.

[Dhul Fiqar]

This strikes me as a rather bigotted and inapropriate comparison, especially since there is no such thing as a universal definition of a "retard". I'm inclined to send this over to OI and have it picked apart... ;)

[Dhul Fiqar]

#Moderation Mode

Feeding time... ;)

Moved here (http://www.che-lives.com/cgi/community/topic.pl?forum=22&topic=2357)

[lostsoul]

nazi's choose their own path

disabled people don't choose it on themselfs.

I think such a comparsion, is not only proving you are below a retard(since if they do different things, its usually because they don't know better..but you know better and yet did something pretty bad by that).


nazi's one of the reason nazi's are fucked is cause they have a choice..they choose to be cruel. Just like you choose to write a cruel(and not funny) post.

From that, i would consider you just as stupid as nazi's and alot lower then disabled people. Maybe the guy who runs this forum can make a section "moron's who think their jokes are funny" section..and you could Moderate it.

[Dhul Fiqar]

LOL, good reply :)

I'd just like to add that the Nazis persecuted, isolated and executed anyone they considered "retarded", and it wasn't all that hard to qualify. Comparing Nazis to people unfortunate enough to have been born disabled, and have also been tormented by the German Nazi regime, is... well... retarded ;)

--- G.

[Invader Zim]

Tell me how do you define retard. Does that include people who have MS or Downs or what. Where is your definition.

·Retards can only get some with other retards.

I have rarely heard such a heap of shit in my life, that is just simply not true. Some disabled individuals have long lasting relationships with physically normal individuals.

What a cruel post, not even the likes of LL, SN or CI would come out with such demeaning and degrading stuff.

[Dhul Fiqar]

For once you and I completely agree AK, good times :)

Not only does it attack retards, but at times it also seems to actually equate all Germans with Nazis!

I just had a read through the gyu's list and it also shows an incredible lack of knowledge about certain things, this amongst the most glaring factual error:

"Nazis traditionally speak with a thick, Slavic accent."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? First all Germans are Nazis, now all Nazis are Slavs?

Slavs were massacred horribly during WW2 by Nazis, for your information.

--- G.

[Dirty Commie]

That is horribly cruel, but disgustingly funny.

[Comrade Gorley]

·Some Nazis maintained a pagan reverence for magical, flying valkyries.
·Some retards maintain a pagan reverence for magical, flying Teletubbies.


What the fuck is this supposed to mean?

First of all, the original Nazis were Catholic, not pagan. Once again you keep confusing German Nazis with American Nazis and "Slavic Nazis" (if such exist). And the Nazis that do participate in this activity belong to their own sect (although I cannot recall what it's called), so there goes the Nazi title.

And teletubbies don't fly, dumbass.


Excellent post, AK47. Keep it up. :)

[Moskitto]

The Nazis made deals to leave the catholic church alone if the catholic church left the nazis alone, although the nazis broke this deal, the Nazis could be described as "Occult" not catholic.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

How can you equate the moral idiocy of Naziism with the innocent mental defetcs of "retarded" people?!

This is offensive and not a bit funny! This thread should be deleted.

It is one think to pick on Nazis, it is quite another to insult mentaly ill folks and acuse them of having something incommon with Nazism. They did nothing wrong to deserve this offensive heap of shit!!

[Dhul Fiqar]

I am inclined to close this one, but I just thought I'd let other people hurl abuse at the original poster for a bit before I do so. Perhaps he'll even grace us with an apology or something...

But it'll be closed soon, don't worry ;)

--- G.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

I am inclined to close this one, but I just thought I'd let other people hurl abuse at the original poster for a bit before I do so. Perhaps he'll even grace us with an apology or something...But it'll be closed soon, don't worry ;)
--- G.

I understand

[synthesis]

That was stupid.

[Invader Zim]

Another thing that pisses me off is that you seam to have this strange idea that those people of physical disability have severe problems controling there bodily functions. How do you work out that disabled people shit all over the place. I am sure that they equily efficent muscles in there anus as any normal person. I am also sure that they have learned how to use a toilet.

I personnaly knew an autistic person he displayed none of the charaicteristics that you have displayed in this thread as signs of "retardation". He was particularly shy and needed a lot of care and attention.

Tell me, does your branding of people as retards go as far as those who suffer dyslexia? Dyslexic people have a problem with there brain not functioning properly for specific tasks. Generaly those who have dyslexia suffer from extreamly poor spelling, poor handwriting, they often cannot see patterns, find it hard to concentrait, are poor at basic arithmatic. Not all dyslexic people suffer from all these problems just a few usually. Are dyslexic people retards? Can they be compared with a Nazi's? Are you fundermentaly better than those with dyslexia?

What would you say if i told you that many dyslexic people achive high grades in school? You discust me.

[Comrade Gorley]

Quote: from AK47 on 9:08 pm on May 17, 2003
Another thing that pisses me off is that you seam to have this strange idea that those people of physical disability have severe problems controling there bodily functions. How do you work out that disabled people shit all over the place. I am sure that they equily efficent muscles in there anus as any normal person. I am also sure that they have learned how to use a toilet.

I personnaly knew an autistic person he displayed none of the charaicteristics that you have displayed in this thread as signs of "retardation". He was particularly shy and needed a lot of care and attention.

Tell me, does your branding of people as retards go as far as those who suffer dyslexia? Dyslexic people have a problem with there brain not functioning properly for specific tasks. Generaly those who have dyslexia suffer from extreamly poor spelling, poor handwriting, they often cannot see patterns, find it hard to concentrait, are poor at basic arithmatic. Not all dyslexic people suffer from all these problems just a few usually. Are dyslexic people retards? Can they be compared with a Nazi's? Are you fundermentaly better than those with dyslexia?

What would you say if i told you that many dyslexic people achive high grades in school? You discust me.

Amen and amen and amen.

[Anonymous]

Listen hear, you goddamned son of a fucking *****. My sister happens to have cerebral palsy, a quite severe case in fact. She was born premature, and because of her small size she had a massive brain hemmorrage at 16 days. My parents took care of her for the first six years of her life. However, eventually she became too much work for my mother (seeing as how my parents were then divorced) and she was forced to put her in a facility for the mentally handicapped. I don't remember any part of her living with us seeing as how I was only fifteen months old when she left. We've visited her almost every month since then (she lives 300 miles away).

But enough of that. See the thing is, unlike being a nazi, you could wake up tommarrow morning mentally retarded. Oh yes, it happens. One day your driving around in a 40,000 dollar catalac makin' sweet love to your girl, the next, your suckin mush through a gastro tube whilst some fatass ***** wips slobber off your contorted face.

[synthesis]

DC, would you have such a strong reaction to these sentiments if you weren't close to a person belonging to the group they targeted? Would you even oppose them at all?

If you didn't know anyone with a mental handicap, would you have been so angry?

Just curious.

[Anonymous]

I know what your getting at here.

There is a difference between the poor and the mentally handicapped. One has a mind capable of reason and abstract thought, the other doesn't. The poor have a choice, they can work or die. The mentally retarded, however, are totally dependent on others.

If you didn't know anyone with a mental handicap, would you have been so angry?

Possibly.

[synthesis]

I actually wasn't trying to imply something that specific. I think that certain people have a behavioral trait where they are only inclined to defend a minority or other such group if they know and sympathize with one personally. I was merely attempting to see if you would identify that trait within yourself.

I've known quite a number of them in my life. I knew a fellow in my senior year of high school who vehemently hated feminists until a female member of his family was viciously beaten by a male companion. At that point, he became more defensive of women than Gloria Steinem and basically denied that he was ever anything but.

Similar scenarios have occured to people I know with regards to blacks, Hispanics, gays, and yes, the poor. I've always defended such groups and have never needed to vicariously experience their vicissitudes myself to know their struggles, although I have been witness to numerous acts of hatred against them.

[WUOrevolt]

Good job HonkMyDooser. Although I do like mentally retarded people.

[hazard]

I'd never call a mentally handicapped person a nazi. so I don't see why you thought calling nazi's mentally handicappeed was a suitable insult.

nevertheless, despite your lack of sensitivty, you do have the correct motivation. next time compare nazi's to a pile of shit or a herd of lemmings or something. THAT might be funny

[Dhul Fiqar]

Well, this has run it's course I think :)