BraneMatter
21st October 2008, 17:32
Dear Senators Pryor and Lincoln,
I hear you guys may be considering another "stimulus package" in the near future. I can only hope that this one will be better than the last one, which was, to be honest, a joke.
Here's is what I would like: I would like my next stimulus check to be at least one trillion dollars.
Now I know that must seem like a lot of money, but consider the following:
1. I live on Social Security Disability, so I am, technically, in a constant state of bankruptcy.
2. I have a "liquidity" and capitalization problem.
3. I can't borrow any money for a house or car, so how can I be a good capitalist and help the economy grow?
Please note that the above reasons are identical to those you used to justify passing out, at latest count, over three trillion dollars to various banks and Wall Street firms (and still counting).
While I'm not real sure how many zeros a trillion dollars is, it doesn't look like all that much when you spell it out.
I promise, Senator, not to put the trillion dollars under my mattress, but to open up numerous bank accounts, and to deposit in each the maximum amount insured by the FDIC. This will really help those banks, and give them a lot more money to lend out, or, if you prefer, I can just spend a lot of the money really fast. For example, I can buy several houses, a couple of luxury airplanes, and a whole fleet of American made cars! Think of all the jobs I will be creating or saving at General Motors and Lear Jet! In addition, I promise to go on really expensive spa junkets and Caribbean vacation cruises, again further stimulating the economy in the service sector.
Oh yes, and if you've got a special "pork" project that you just can't seem to sneak through Congress, just let me know and I will fund it for you, and that way the voters will be especially grateful to you come election day (if you get my drift).
Since I know you are a fair man (woman), and don't wish to discriminate, I'll be expecting my check for one trillion dollars to arrive in the not too distant future. In fact, the sooner the better, as I have some really worthwhile projects in mind (like repairing my old car, fixing my leaking roof, buying food, paying for medicine, etc.)
Please don't think of this as a "bailout" or "welfare." Think of it as an "investment."
Tell the taxpayers not to worry, and that they can expect a good return on their money, as I have some really excellent real estate 'instruments' I plan on buying with some of the money at a bargain price.
Kind regards,
RJM
:thumbup:
I hear you guys may be considering another "stimulus package" in the near future. I can only hope that this one will be better than the last one, which was, to be honest, a joke.
Here's is what I would like: I would like my next stimulus check to be at least one trillion dollars.
Now I know that must seem like a lot of money, but consider the following:
1. I live on Social Security Disability, so I am, technically, in a constant state of bankruptcy.
2. I have a "liquidity" and capitalization problem.
3. I can't borrow any money for a house or car, so how can I be a good capitalist and help the economy grow?
Please note that the above reasons are identical to those you used to justify passing out, at latest count, over three trillion dollars to various banks and Wall Street firms (and still counting).
While I'm not real sure how many zeros a trillion dollars is, it doesn't look like all that much when you spell it out.
I promise, Senator, not to put the trillion dollars under my mattress, but to open up numerous bank accounts, and to deposit in each the maximum amount insured by the FDIC. This will really help those banks, and give them a lot more money to lend out, or, if you prefer, I can just spend a lot of the money really fast. For example, I can buy several houses, a couple of luxury airplanes, and a whole fleet of American made cars! Think of all the jobs I will be creating or saving at General Motors and Lear Jet! In addition, I promise to go on really expensive spa junkets and Caribbean vacation cruises, again further stimulating the economy in the service sector.
Oh yes, and if you've got a special "pork" project that you just can't seem to sneak through Congress, just let me know and I will fund it for you, and that way the voters will be especially grateful to you come election day (if you get my drift).
Since I know you are a fair man (woman), and don't wish to discriminate, I'll be expecting my check for one trillion dollars to arrive in the not too distant future. In fact, the sooner the better, as I have some really worthwhile projects in mind (like repairing my old car, fixing my leaking roof, buying food, paying for medicine, etc.)
Please don't think of this as a "bailout" or "welfare." Think of it as an "investment."
Tell the taxpayers not to worry, and that they can expect a good return on their money, as I have some really excellent real estate 'instruments' I plan on buying with some of the money at a bargain price.
Kind regards,
RJM
:thumbup: