Pete
27th February 2003, 17:43
WE'RE SORRY
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently
and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the
people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than
you,
doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better
than your own. I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I
guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much better than
yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice
you've rebuilt it! It's very nice. I'm sorry about your beer. I know we
had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain. I'm sorry about
our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed
dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more
than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was
different, everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.
We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
P.S. If this is not satisfactory for you, we will offer you AvrilLavigne
and all the Home Hardware T-shirts that we can find in Napanee, if we can
find Napanee.
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently
and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the
people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than
you,
doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better
than your own. I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I
guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much better than
yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice
you've rebuilt it! It's very nice. I'm sorry about your beer. I know we
had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain. I'm sorry about
our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed
dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more
than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was
different, everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.
We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
P.S. If this is not satisfactory for you, we will offer you AvrilLavigne
and all the Home Hardware T-shirts that we can find in Napanee, if we can
find Napanee.