That time of month

[feminist dyke whore]

When in a heated argument or discussion I've sometimes found (in particular) men writing off my anger or even argument to "that time of month." This assertion infuriates and offends me deeply as it is completely irrelevant to the discussion. Is my disgust an over reaction or do other women feel it is just blatant sexism.

Has a guy here ever said that to a girl?
Have girls here ever had it said to them?

Just curious other people thoughts.

[RedAnarchist]

I certainly would not use that phrase myself, and I certainly hope any other male member of this forum doesn't use it either. Its as bad as saying any sexist word or one of the many well-known misogynistic phrases and sayings.

[Bilan]

It's patronising, degrading bullshit.

[mykittyhasaboner]

the use of that phrase is very popular and common in my experience. its often used as a cop out. like when theres a discussion/debate between a man and a woman, but the woman is right and the man knows it, so he just utters "oh shes just on her period" or something to that degree.

not only is it not true most of the time, but using the phrase just shows that you are incompetent. such petty misogyny is quite annoying to be perfectly honest.

[Lector Malibu]

Actually I don't talk about stuff like that. And if I do it's not by such openly chauvinistic means at all. You know this is also why I'm pro choice at any trimester as well. It's not my body. Therefore in it's not my business quite simply..nor anyone else's for that matter.

[Holden Caulfield]

i think this thread is a bit of a nonity (that might not even be a word im not sure) nobody who wants to say on the board is going to defend a clearly sexist and demeaning phrase,

its like saying 'do you love hilter and hate jews'... nobody is going to take the opposing view as A) it is wrong and B) it is clearly the wrong answer the to the question regarding the 'morals' and expectations of the board

[Lector Malibu]

i think this thread is a bit of a nonity (that might not even be a word im not sure) nobody who wants to say on the board is going to defend a clearly sexist and demeaning phrase,

its like saying 'do you love hilter and hate jews'... nobody is going to take the opposing view as A) it is wrong and B) it is clearly the wrong answer the to the question regarding the 'morals' and expectations of the board

I respectfully disagree H. I think the topic is good because this is one of those really sexist things that just kinda slips by unchecked. The other thing is that people need to be able to say whatever they would like, regardless of the outcome. If there are people here that are just saying things to advoid confrontation /debate that is a serious problem as well. I would encourage those people to ask themselfs what is important to them

[Module]

I know what you mean. In my experience it comes mostly in the form of "She's got major PMS" or whatever rather than "she's got her period".
That insult is not only infuriating to hear people say, but it's also bloody confusing.
I mean, I can't actually think of a time I've been unusually pissed off during my period, or any of my friends to the point I've actually noticed it. :confused:
But yeah, it's a pretty commonly used phrase, as FE said, a lot of people use it and don't stop to think about it for the most part .. but I think that when it is used the connotations behind the word are enough for people to know that it's a pretty cheeky thing to say; as in people know it's sexist when they use it.

[Decolonize The Left]

Never used the phrase, never will, and have told others that it is highly inappropriate (to put it lightly).

Anyone who uses this phrase is simply demonstrating a vast amount of ignorance and chauvinism. They are basically saying: "I have nothing to say, do not value your words or self, and believe you are incapable of expressing yourself coherently."

Furthermore, it demonstrates extreme cowardice on the part of the speaker. Although this is not uncommon for males to retreat when confronted by females (as it challenges their unspoken position of superiority), such a retreat is truly disgusting.

- August

[spartan]

The thing i always think of when hearing it being said is so what if it's "that time of month" it makes absolutely no difference to what she has just said!

It's a cop out by men who know they have been upstaged by a woman (the horror!) and as such should'nt be used in a society that aims to treat both sexes equally.

However there should'nt be some sort of word police going round telling you not to use such and such words as this would be going to far in my opinion. Better just to teach people from a young age why saying stuff like this is unacceptable to 50% of the human population and leave it at that.

Of course there will always be some who carry on using it but it's best just to ignore them.

[Mujer Libre]

i think this thread is a bit of a nonity (that might not even be a word im not sure) nobody who wants to say on the board is going to defend a clearly sexist and demeaning phrase,

its like saying 'do you love hilter and hate jews'... nobody is going to take the opposing view as A) it is wrong and B) it is clearly the wrong answer the to the question regarding the 'morals' and expectations of the board
I thikn you're rigth in that nobody on this board will come to the defence of a statement like that (although I am continually surprised...), but as Lector said, it's something that gets said in everyday conversation a lot, so it's probably good to discuss it here, and confront it IRL.

Also, I think statements like this come from th male perception of women's bodies as chaotic and "monstrous," and of women's personalities as determined by these bodily traits- we are irrational, amotional etc. It's based on this old-fashioned superstition, and pretty pathetic that it persists to this day.

[spartan]

Also, I think statements like this come from th male perception of women's bodies as chaotic and "monstrous," and of women's personalities as determined by these bodily traits- we are irrational, amotional etc. It's based on this old-fashioned superstition, and pretty pathetic that it persists to this day.

It not only still exists it is actively promoted in the media.

All i ever hear on soap operas when a pregnant woman character is persisting on doing something is "Oh it's the hormones" all the time from the other characters (both male and female) and it absolutely gets on my fucking nerves because it's so bleeding obvious and wrong!

[TC]

The reason, I think that its so offensive is because its a way of taking what someone is saying, or what they're feeling or how they're expressing it, and instead of regarding the idea, speech, feeling or expression as that of a thinking, equal person, it instead attributes it to their biology, to their body, to a mind that is an object acted on by hormones not a subject creating and expressing its own opinions.

It essentially reduces a woman the speaker disagrees with to her biology so as to dismiss the basis for the disagreement not on its own merits but as invalid by its source. The implications if you think about them are obviously dehumanising.

[Comrade Rage]

Has a guy here ever said that to a girl?Never, but I've seen other guys use it.

None of my friends have used it, but once I was sitting in a restaurant and some idiot was hitting on a waitress. When she rejected him, he just said "Time of the month." to his asshole buddies.

Would it be wrong just to call people out on that bullshit?
I've wanted to, but I'm not sure it would do any good.

[Decolonize The Left]

Would it be wrong just to call people out on that bullshit?
I've wanted to, but I'm not sure it would do any good.

No it would not be wrong. In fact, I recommend you do call them out.

It matters not if they take it to heart and really change, although that would be desirable. What matters most is that
1) if you are a man, you show the woman who is being insulted that another man does not support that behavior,
2) you show the man that his behavior is unacceptable to you,
3) you encourage others around you to do the same simply by calling them out,
4) that you create an atmosphere where insults and degrading comments are not acceptable.

This will all contribute in some form or another to dismantling the complex networks of sexism which exist in our society - but each person must do their part in their daily lives.

- August

[Comrade Rage]

You're right August. I'll try and do that next time, although I am a little introverted (shy) in real life.

[spartan]

No it would not be wrong. In fact, I recommend you do call them out.

It matters not if they take it to heart and really change, although that would be desirable. What matters most is that
1) if you are a man, you show the woman who is being insulted that another man does not support that behavior,
2) you show the man that his behavior is unacceptable to you,
3) you encourage others around you to do the same simply by calling them out,
4) that you create an atmosphere where insults and degrading comments are not acceptable.

This will all contribute in some form or another to dismantling the complex networks of sexism which exist in our society - but each person must do their part in their daily lives.

- August

If i did that in my area i would more than likely get beaten up and labelled a "poofter".

[Lector Malibu]

If i did that in my area i would more than likely get beaten up and labelled a "poofter".

Come on kermit, a little backbone :lol::lol:

[Luís Henrique]

When in a heated argument or discussion I've sometimes found (in particular) men writing off my anger or even argument to "that time of month." This assertion infuriates and offends me deeply as it is completely irrelevant to the discussion. Is my disgust an over reaction or do other women feel it is just blatant sexism.

I have always understood that kind of stupidity as sexist and discriminatory.

But in these times of post-everything, I'm told that women in fact are subject to something called pre-menstrual tension, and that it in fact it makes women do things they wouldn't do in the other "times of the month".

So, should we eat the cake, or save it for tomorrow?

Luís Henrique

[Luís Henrique]

Oh, and also I have heard it used against men:

Que foi, tá menstruado?

In my opinion, it doesn't make it any less sexist.

Luís Henrique

[feminist dyke whore]

I can't recall knowing a man say it to a man during a discussion, in my experience it has been women taking the piss and saying it.

[Dean]

When in a heated argument or discussion I've sometimes found (in particular) men writing off my anger or even argument to "that time of month." This assertion infuriates and offends me deeply as it is completely irrelevant to the discussion. Is my disgust an over reaction or do other women feel it is just blatant sexism.

Has a guy here ever said that to a girl?
Have girls here ever had it said to them?

Just curious other people thoughts.

Just some filth, basically. I've always been uncomfortable when such assertions were put forth, it is childish and demeaning.

[Mala Tha Testa]

Oh, and also I have heard it used against men:

Que foi, tá menstruado?

In my opinion, it doesn't make it any less sexist.

Luís Henrique


yeah, in a debate i was told i "was on my period"
and i agree with Luís, that it doesn't make any these sexist

[Pogue]

It's sexist. It's like people who say men think with their penises/are only out for a shag, as opposed to a relationship. It's like all goddam generalisations.
Like arguments people use like "I don't like black people because there's lots of black crime". Quite obviously, the problem is criminals, not black people. So the problem is men who are only out for sex, not men. And so, all generalisations are bullshit.

[Raoul_RedRat]

How would everyone answer this; how sexist is it if a women would justify her behaviour by saying she is having her period?

I personally think that menstruation can influence the reasonableness of ones behaviour. But I can only say so for my girlfriend and some other female friends I am close with. But then again, I also have my period of sorts in which I can be highly sensitive (read: fucking annoying) and totally irrational.

But it's sexist if it is solely used to play the ad hominem card, or just to dismay someone in a discussion.

[Mujer Libre]

how sexist is it if a women would justify her behaviour by saying she is having her period?

Because a woman would never claim that her period is making her irrational, which is the way the statement is in a sexist context.She might feel that it affects her mood, but for almost all women this is not so bad that they are not entirely in control of their words and actions, which contrasts with the statement that a woman's actions can directly result from her "being on her period."

[feminist dyke whore]

how sexist is it if a women would justify her behaviour by saying she is having her period?


Nice question. Do you mean sexist in that it is unfair to men, or to other women, or both?


[/i]Because a woman would never claim that her period is making her irrational, which is the way the statement is in a sexist context.She might feel that it affects her mood, but for almost all women this is not so bad that they are not entirely in control of their words and actions, which contrasts with the statement that a woman's actions can directly result from her "being on her period."

I agree.

I've never justified my behavior to being on my period because I know that my body does not control my actions, and I must be able to accept the responsibility of being wrong.

Some women suffer from Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is an extreme form of PMS and in my opinion would be a suitable explanation and justification of irrational behavior.

[Chapter 24]

I am sorry and embarrassed to say that I am not exactly innocent of using that particular term when talking to a pissed off girl. That was of course back in my more immature days, but that still does not excuse the choice of words I used. I now know from experience that using this term is just a cop-out to be used in an argument or if, plain and simple, a lady you are talking to is getting pissed. Hell, men get pissed off and they don't have a "time of the month".