R_P_A_S
2nd June 2008, 22:32
We are in our mid-twenties and I figured he'd grow out of it by now. What I once branded as pity rancor has evolved to pure hate! Or at least that's what he calls it, hate.
"I hate fucking guats" He tells me.
"No you don't, how can you possible hate Guatemalans!?" I replied.
"Whatever! I just don't care for them, I can careless about them"
How did all this happen? I've sat and reminisce about our childhood, friends, and experiences.
The main factor to blame for this ignorance is, Mexican chauvinism. Second our friends growing up; the classic stereo typical southern caucasian person. and third Our environment, a small conservative town in southern Florida.
Mexican chauvinism is programmed into our heads the minute we start talking. I know first hand, thankfully my father or close family was never big on it. But I got enough of it to walk around and feel as if Mexico and being Mexican was better, cooler and higher than the rest of Central America and most of our Latin American neighbors. Our spanish was the best! Our food the most original and our ancestors had rule the region with one of the biggest and most advance empires in the world at that time. All this were things one should be proud of! After all we are "la raza!":blushing:
Our childhood friends when we were 11 to 22 years old were mainly white. The first 6 years my best friend and I were the two of 6 Mexican kids in our entire town of 25,000. I guess you can say that we were Americanized by them. There was a small black population and tiny East Indian and Asian. We bonded with the white kids what can I say? He specially more, My accent it's still noticeable and his is not! And I've been in the U.S. longer! I branched out, my friends were mainly white but I made friends with more Mexican, Black, Guatemalan and Haitian kids than he did. I never consider my self racist, throughout Junior High we all had clicks typical of teenagers we had grudges against different clicks and groups of people but It faded away with time. Fights were fought and truces were made year in and year out. However it wasn't the same for him. I didn't think much of it than but he held his grudges. I remember when we were 14 we started hanging out with a guy we called "gig" He was 17 and "older" He would use the words 'n*gger, guat and beaner" very loosely around us. Words like stupid, idiot, fag and any other derogatory words were replaced by racial slurs. Most of our white friends did it too.. around us. And sadly we picked it up. We said them so much we didn't think anything was wrong with it. I've refrain from using those words and I have for a few years, however he hasn't
Our environment, I don't know if It's a legitimatize excuse. But I love to blame the South Florida town I grew up in for contributing to my ignorance. I really do. When I paralleled my best friends racism to the town to an other friend she told me that I would probably had stayed the same as my best friend. I really doubt it! There's no way to know how I would had turned out if I've never had venture into philosophy and politics. But I do know just the fact that I moved out of that town into a diverse city like Los Angeles did open up my mind immensely!
You see growing up in that part of south Florida it was like a bubble, at least for us. We firmly believed that Guatemalans were inferior simply because they were typically shorter than us, spoke "funny spanish" and were darker than us. That's all we saw in that town. We weren't born or raised by our parents to think this way. We got this from the racist white friends we had growing up. To the point they made us feel like we belonged to them! since we spoke english and "did american things" We would even call our own "beaners" along with them. What a disgrace... I think back and I laugh at my self but I can't keep laughing at him because he is now 25 years old, married with a little girl and he still talks, walks and thinks like he did 10 years ago. Probably even with more conviction than before.
It has gotten to the point that I can't even talk to him. We have grown apart so much. His way of thinking is so backwards. Calling me to tell me how one of our white friends is dating a "Guat girl" almost like a rhetoric!
"I told him that if he marries her he's gonna become a guat too! I don't get it! She's fat, looks like a total beaner and he likes her! I don't know what his problem is!"
"I'm an asshole I know!" He says laughing.
"What's your problem with her? Just because she's guatemalan? who cares if they like each other!", I try to explain to him..
"It's more than that!, I allow his guat girlfriend into my house, trying to be nice and she is rude! doesn't talk, or knows how to be around other people.. fucking guats! Im telling you! And she didn't have to lie about not being from Guatemala! tried to tell me she was Mexican! fuck that shit! that's what I get for being nice to beaners" He says to try to justify his hate.
Than I tell him.."you know it has nothing to do with being a guatemalan bro. She's from a small provincial town they aren't used to dinner parties and fucking sunday brunch, She's in an entire new country And second she don't speak english. her boyfriend, you and your wife all speak english! she feels out of place! it has nothing to do with being guatemalan and plus you manifest your hate towards central americans so much Im willing to bet she was told to lie about being Guatemalans so you would spare her."
"yeah, fuck i guess! but still" he replies.
It's hard to see my best friend grow into this fucking prejudice prick. I love him as I know he's down for me and I can trust him with my life, but this kills me.
However immature and ignorant I was in my teens, I honestly think I would had grown out of it. Maybe not as class conscious as I am now. But I would of grown out of it. Last time my mother came to visit me I thanked her. For taking me and my brother to live outside of Mexico City into a small farm town. Where I was exposed to the country, farming, and even poverty. I believe it was that experience and upbringing that is now making a comeback and having a greater impact and influence on my life. More that that fucking ignorant garbage i picked up in South Florida.
"I hate fucking guats" He tells me.
"No you don't, how can you possible hate Guatemalans!?" I replied.
"Whatever! I just don't care for them, I can careless about them"
How did all this happen? I've sat and reminisce about our childhood, friends, and experiences.
The main factor to blame for this ignorance is, Mexican chauvinism. Second our friends growing up; the classic stereo typical southern caucasian person. and third Our environment, a small conservative town in southern Florida.
Mexican chauvinism is programmed into our heads the minute we start talking. I know first hand, thankfully my father or close family was never big on it. But I got enough of it to walk around and feel as if Mexico and being Mexican was better, cooler and higher than the rest of Central America and most of our Latin American neighbors. Our spanish was the best! Our food the most original and our ancestors had rule the region with one of the biggest and most advance empires in the world at that time. All this were things one should be proud of! After all we are "la raza!":blushing:
Our childhood friends when we were 11 to 22 years old were mainly white. The first 6 years my best friend and I were the two of 6 Mexican kids in our entire town of 25,000. I guess you can say that we were Americanized by them. There was a small black population and tiny East Indian and Asian. We bonded with the white kids what can I say? He specially more, My accent it's still noticeable and his is not! And I've been in the U.S. longer! I branched out, my friends were mainly white but I made friends with more Mexican, Black, Guatemalan and Haitian kids than he did. I never consider my self racist, throughout Junior High we all had clicks typical of teenagers we had grudges against different clicks and groups of people but It faded away with time. Fights were fought and truces were made year in and year out. However it wasn't the same for him. I didn't think much of it than but he held his grudges. I remember when we were 14 we started hanging out with a guy we called "gig" He was 17 and "older" He would use the words 'n*gger, guat and beaner" very loosely around us. Words like stupid, idiot, fag and any other derogatory words were replaced by racial slurs. Most of our white friends did it too.. around us. And sadly we picked it up. We said them so much we didn't think anything was wrong with it. I've refrain from using those words and I have for a few years, however he hasn't
Our environment, I don't know if It's a legitimatize excuse. But I love to blame the South Florida town I grew up in for contributing to my ignorance. I really do. When I paralleled my best friends racism to the town to an other friend she told me that I would probably had stayed the same as my best friend. I really doubt it! There's no way to know how I would had turned out if I've never had venture into philosophy and politics. But I do know just the fact that I moved out of that town into a diverse city like Los Angeles did open up my mind immensely!
You see growing up in that part of south Florida it was like a bubble, at least for us. We firmly believed that Guatemalans were inferior simply because they were typically shorter than us, spoke "funny spanish" and were darker than us. That's all we saw in that town. We weren't born or raised by our parents to think this way. We got this from the racist white friends we had growing up. To the point they made us feel like we belonged to them! since we spoke english and "did american things" We would even call our own "beaners" along with them. What a disgrace... I think back and I laugh at my self but I can't keep laughing at him because he is now 25 years old, married with a little girl and he still talks, walks and thinks like he did 10 years ago. Probably even with more conviction than before.
It has gotten to the point that I can't even talk to him. We have grown apart so much. His way of thinking is so backwards. Calling me to tell me how one of our white friends is dating a "Guat girl" almost like a rhetoric!
"I told him that if he marries her he's gonna become a guat too! I don't get it! She's fat, looks like a total beaner and he likes her! I don't know what his problem is!"
"I'm an asshole I know!" He says laughing.
"What's your problem with her? Just because she's guatemalan? who cares if they like each other!", I try to explain to him..
"It's more than that!, I allow his guat girlfriend into my house, trying to be nice and she is rude! doesn't talk, or knows how to be around other people.. fucking guats! Im telling you! And she didn't have to lie about not being from Guatemala! tried to tell me she was Mexican! fuck that shit! that's what I get for being nice to beaners" He says to try to justify his hate.
Than I tell him.."you know it has nothing to do with being a guatemalan bro. She's from a small provincial town they aren't used to dinner parties and fucking sunday brunch, She's in an entire new country And second she don't speak english. her boyfriend, you and your wife all speak english! she feels out of place! it has nothing to do with being guatemalan and plus you manifest your hate towards central americans so much Im willing to bet she was told to lie about being Guatemalans so you would spare her."
"yeah, fuck i guess! but still" he replies.
It's hard to see my best friend grow into this fucking prejudice prick. I love him as I know he's down for me and I can trust him with my life, but this kills me.
However immature and ignorant I was in my teens, I honestly think I would had grown out of it. Maybe not as class conscious as I am now. But I would of grown out of it. Last time my mother came to visit me I thanked her. For taking me and my brother to live outside of Mexico City into a small farm town. Where I was exposed to the country, farming, and even poverty. I believe it was that experience and upbringing that is now making a comeback and having a greater impact and influence on my life. More that that fucking ignorant garbage i picked up in South Florida.