Don't ask me (or any strange woman you just met to go to your house and then stalk !!

[careyprice31]

Kay im gonna put this here cause its discrimination and most of the time men dont get this said or done to them

I really dont know why some men think they have the right to say/do what they like to women, I was in the elevator at univ the other day and a guy was there with me. I just made small talk in my friendly way, then when the elevator reached the third floor we both got off, he kept talking to me, he was from vietnam and studying engineering,

Then he started asking me did i have dinner and then he said MY home isnt far way from here, wanna come my house ! I was like Fuck no, get away fromee by using body language i never actually said it. I said I already ate. Then I left to go library when i reached it i turned around discovered he was following me. The elevator went to first floor and me him and a few other people got off. I had to ditch him so I tricked him. I let him get ahead of me and as soon as he had his back to me (he probably thought i would follow him , nice naive girl he thought) as soon as he wasnt looking I booted it back up the stairs. LOL

thats called using my head.

but tell me, why for Christs sake to men think they can say or do what they want to women, especially some international students who think they can do it over here ??

Fuckin nutbar he was. Nice men dont ask strange women to their houses !! and then stalk them even when they say no !!

[Lector Malibu]

That does sound pretty creepy. Svetlana , it's a good rule of thumb not to talk to anyone you don't know. Especially in a restrictive environment like an elevator, where there is not really a way out.

Also some people think that if you talk to them in that setting you are "interested" and there are alot of people that are way too aggressive, and push limits like the guy in the elevator did.

It's good you got away like you did. Actually even though I can handle myself in a variety of different settings I'm very in tune with stuff like this. I don't talk to strangers or even when meeting people I don't tell them where I live or work or give out my number or anything until enough time has passed where I feel comfortable that they do not pose a threat.

I also agree that there is a sexist expectation that if a woman talks to a man they must be interested, which is absurd .

[careyprice31]

Canada is still certainly patriarchal still and chauvinistic as well. And then lay blame on us females when something happens (oh your shirt must have been revealing yadda yadda)

imo Canada should be doing more to protect women from this kind of stuff but I dont think we'll get it from Stephen Harper and the Conservatives man I freakin hate this guy, right wing religious nutbar who is basically George W Bush's left leg and wants to set Canada and all the gains that we have made back a century (like with the sneaky Bill C - 84 which claims that when a pregnant woman is killed the one who did it will be charged with a separate crime for killing the fetus. Its just a sneaky way to get around the abortion law by sneakily giving a fetus rights.

(i'm pro - choice btw)

but tell me, why in the name of God, are these things still happening to us Canadian women even in the 21 freaking century? can anyone explain that?

and if yea a woman chats with a man then she must be interested. Absolutely retarded assumption.

(for the record Im dating a sweet guy so I had not even a remote interest in the guy who stalked me the other day. Especially univ perverts. Oy)

and also i talk to strangers all the time. I dont see anything wrong with it, its just little things if something happens you get away from it. and you do all the usual things like not give your name out and stuff

[Lector Malibu]

Canada is still certainly patriarchal still and chauvinistic as well. And then lay blame on us females when something happens (oh your shirt must have been revealing yadda yadda)

It's the classic mentality that victims are responsible for the actions of their perpetrators.

And it says alot to the sad state of affairs that are allowed to exist


imo Canada should be doing more to protect women from this kind of stuff but I dont think we'll get it from Stephen Harper and the Conservatives man I freakin hate this guy, right wing religious nutbar who is basically George W Bush's left leg and wants to set Canada and all the gains that we have made back a century (like with the sneaky Bill C - 84 which claims that when a pregnant woman is killed the one who did it will be charged with a separate crime for killing the fetus. Its just a sneaky way to get around the abortion law by sneakily giving a fetus rights.

I swear Bush , Harper , and Blair are all in the sack together...

Yeah it's sad when the law is manipulated to meet the needs of the religious right. Happens here as well.


(i'm pro - choice btw)Me too . absolutely without a doubt. It's no ones place to tell anyone what they can do with there bodies and issues that affect them.


but tell me, why in the name of God, are these things still happening to us Canadian women even in the 21 freaking century? can anyone explain that?Well they happen to all kinds of women and will continue to happen as long as these type of things are tolerated and go un-checked


and if yea a woman chats with a man then she must be interested. Absolutely retarded assumption.It is really. It's also degrading. Women are not objects.


(for the record Im dating a sweet guy so I had not even a remote interest in the guy who stalked me the other day. Especially univ perverts. Oy)Good for you. I wish you luck. I'd like to date a sweet guy but Morrissey is always busy these days..sigh..


and also i talk to strangers all the time. I dont see anything wrong with it, its just little things if something happens you get away from it. and you do all the usual things like not give your name out and stuffYeah, it's a gamble though really. I just try and be careful I guess

[careyprice31]

I wish you luck, I'd like to date a sweet guy but Morrissey is always busy these days..sigh..

Yeah, it's a gamble though really. I just try and be careful I guess

Yes, I know that you are a gay man. Im for gay rights. So I wish you luck too.

Its too bad that your crush like you said is always busy. :(

When talking to strangers you must use your sixth sense. and be very good at being a good judge of character. Luckily, I'm good at both, having been through a lot of situations in my past and I learned to judge the characters of men (and women)

Btw I wasnt wearing anything even remotely revealing that day.....just jeans and a nice top that wasnt showing even part of anything.

[Lector Malibu]

Btw I wasnt wearing anything even remotely revealing that day.....just jeans and a nice top that wasnt showing even part of anything.

Well it's not always about that. Some men just expect it if you make any type contact be it a simple harmless conversation or what not. It's messed up.

[Marsella]

You need to carry some form of protection for yourself.

Like pepper spray or something.

I would think that most army-supplier stores would have them. If you feel threatened, like in the situation you were in, take it out and put it in your hand just in case. sometimes instincts serve us well & its better to be on the safe side and *possibly* look like you over-react rather thann be raped or sexually assaulted or robbed or whatever............................

[Herman]

Go to gym, practice boxing and kick his ass next time. If you can't or don't want to, then take something to arm yourself with, be it pepper spray or a knife.

[Dean]

Kay im gonna put this here cause its discrimination and most of the time men dont get this said or done to them

I really dont know why some men think they have the right to say/do what they like to women, I was in the elevator at univ the other day and a guy was there with me. I just made small talk in my friendly way, then when the elevator reached the third floor we both got off, he kept talking to me, he was from vietnam and studying engineering,

Then he started asking me did i have dinner and then he said MY home isnt far way from here, wanna come my house ! I was like Fuck no, get away fromee by using body language i never actually said it. I said I already ate. Then I left to go library when i reached it i turned around discovered he was following me. The elevator went to first floor and me him and a few other people got off. I had to ditch him so I tricked him. I let him get ahead of me and as soon as he had his back to me (he probably thought i would follow him , nice naive girl he thought) as soon as he wasnt looking I booted it back up the stairs. LOL

thats called using my head.

but tell me, why for Christs sake to men think they can say or do what they want to women, especially some international students who think they can do it over here ??

Fuckin nutbar he was. Nice men dont ask strange women to their houses !! and then stalk them even when they say no !!

A true creep. Some people just don't take a hint.

[TC]

No offense svetlana, because that sort of thing pisses me off too, but you're making more out of it then it sounds like it was:

1. This was at university you said: people at university are 'strangers' in a different sense, the way co-workers who don't know each other are, they're all semi-vouched for in a controlled environment with networks of mutual acquientences; so the line between creepy-friendly and creepy-threatening is somewhat different.

2. You weren't alone with him there were other people there.

3. He clearly genuinely thought that you were either being friendly too or he was coincidentally going in the same direction since he walked in front of you not behind you; i.e. he wasn't actually stalking/following you.

4. Just cause a random guy talks to you (especially if its like in a dorm) doesn't necessarily mean they want you sexually anymore than if you talk back to them, surely. Normally its a safe assumption but not always.

5. He didn't do anything overtly threatening: random guys do, a lot.


So...really if you're not in the mood to talk to someone you shouldn't be a victim about it you should just give them a cold dismissive look and not respond or say something somewhat rude and abrupt, if they still bug you then its more reasonable to be highly pissed off

[Dean]

So...really if you're not in the mood to talk to someone you shouldn't be a victim about it you should just give them a cold dismissive look and not respond or say something somewhat rude and abrupt, if they still bug you then its more reasonable to be highly pissed off

Some people have a hard time brushing people off so directly. I know my fiance probably wouldn't tell someone to leave that directly.

[Lector Malibu]

No offense svetlana, because that sort of thing pisses me off too, but you're making more out of it then it sounds like it was:

1. This was at university you said: people at university are 'strangers' in a different sense, the way co-workers who don't know each other are, they're all semi-vouched for in a controlled environment with networks of mutual acquientences; so the line between creepy-friendly and creepy-threatening is somewhat different.

2. You weren't alone with him there were other people there.

3. He clearly genuinely thought that you were either being friendly too or he was coincidentally going in the same direction since he walked in front of you not behind you; i.e. he wasn't actually stalking/following you.

4. Just cause a random guy talks to you (especially if its like in a dorm) doesn't necessarily mean they want you sexually anymore than if you talk back to them, surely. Normally its a safe assumption but not always.

5. He didn't do anything overtly threatening: random guys do, a lot.


So...really if you're not in the mood to talk to someone you shouldn't be a victim about it you should just give them a cold dismissive look and not respond or say something somewhat rude and abrupt, if they still bug you then its more reasonable to be highly pissed off


Tragic clown

Though I understand your post. I do have to disagree with it on some levels.

Random creepy street crime is more often and is in general a much more dangerous position than your average interaction at a university.

but to say that going to a university vouches for a person , is not the truest statement.

There are alot of creeps that hide in these settings. Also alot of crimes do occur and go unnoticed and not dealt with.

For example,

When I was in college there where two lesbian women that decided to hike the Appalachian Trail one summer during break.

Someone who knew about there plans , possibly a student followed them that summer.

Both women where found dead and where reported to die from some very atrocious means , which I will not go into.

As I left the college myself after wards I never got anymore information on the story.

I'm not comparing Svetlana's experience to that, but it was a situation that made her uncomfortable and worried never the less.

And it is not our place to decide who is being a victim or not, as their experiences are theirs.