To bisexuals

[Cubensis]

Comrades who are bisexual -- do you find that being bisexual is attacked from both the heterosexual world and the homosexual world? As a bisexual male I find it increasingly difficult in both of these camps. My heterosexual friends chalk it up that I'm just greedy (and maybe I am a little :laugh:) but the worst is from the homosexuals: I'm not really bi, I desire and crave the cock only, and really I'm just a closet homosexual. I suspect being a bi female isn't nearly as difficult as being a bi male. It seems like many girls are bi these days, but guys who are get the shaft big time (and not a good shaft either).

[jake williams]

I've noticed bisexuals getting a lot of shit from the gay community, yeah. I'm never going to forget reading a study awhile back, though, suggesting that overwhelmingly, bisexual men are either primarily attracted to men, or to women. It's interesting.

Female "bisexuals" are a bit of a different phenomenon though, for complicated reasons. They're certainly not all "barsexuals (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=barsexual)" and a lot of them unfairly have to put up with being considered as such, but some of them sure are. With guys too, though it's much less common.

[Dr Mindbender]

i think the problem is theres still a big stigma about the mechanics of the homosexual male act, compared to the female one which is eroticised in the straight-male dominated media.

Its an enditement of how little progress we've made socially in that areas and the extent to which the patriarchal hegemony dominates society.

[Dros]

i think the problem is theres still a big stigma about the mechanics of the homosexual male act, compared to the female one which is eroticised in the straight-male dominated media.

Its an enditement of how little progress we've made socially in that areas and the extent to which the patriarchal hegemony dominates society.

So true. I'd say bisexual girls are almost (almost) a commodity.

[Lector Malibu]

i think the problem is theres still a big stigma about the mechanics of the homosexual male act, compared to the female one which is eroticised in the straight-male dominated media.

Its an enditement of how little progress we've made socially in that areas and the extent to which the patriarchal hegemony dominates society.

You hit the nail on the head. It's really baffling how homophobic males can justify acts of female homosexuality and at the same time denounce male expressions of homosexuality. Also on a larger scale the portrayal of homosexual males as sexually deviant or mentally ill needs to end.

[wallflower]

I went to dinner once with a co-worker at a restaurant at which his girlfriend worked. The aforementioned girlfriend walked up to our table and, instead of a proper introduction, my co-worker said "this is my girlfriend, she's bisexual". I mean, WTF? Don't I at least get a name first?! The aforementioned comment of the commodification of bisexual girls conjured up this strange flashback and really made me think my co-worker was really just doing the sexual equivalent of showing off his new Rolex.

I have been actively involved in the gay community since my best friend came out at age 14. As an asexual, I have found absolutely no intolerance from the community - only acceptance. And the same goes for bisexuals, though now that I think more about it, I *have* heard a few jokes about one or two bisexual friends who are "in transition" to homosexuality. But overall, acceptance and love.

[Lector Malibu]

I went to dinner once with a co-worker at a restaurant at which his girlfriend worked. The aforementioned girlfriend walked up to our table and, instead of a proper introduction, my co-worker said "this is my girlfriend, she's bisexual". I mean, WTF? Don't I at least get a name first?! The aforementioned comment of the commodification of bisexual girls conjured up this strange flashback and really made me think my co-worker was really just doing the sexual equivalent of showing off his new Rolex.

I have been actively involved in the gay community since my best friend came out at age 14. As an asexual, I have found absolutely no intolerance from the community - only acceptance. And the same goes for bisexuals, though now that I think more about it, I *have* heard a few jokes about one or two bisexual friends who are "in transition" to homosexuality. But overall, acceptance and love.

Not to change the subject but Morrissey the former lead singer of The Smiths said that he was asexual during an interview. Do you think that's true?

[wallflower]

Not to change the subject but Morrissey the former lead singer of The Smiths said that he was asexual during an interview. Do you think that's true?

It's true, it's possible. Some even estimate that one-percent of the population has no interest in sex. This said, I often wonder whether Morrissey might have a slightly political interest in celibacy...

[Lector Malibu]

It's true, it's possible. Some even estimate that one-percent of the population has no interest in sex. This said, I often wonder whether Morrissey might have a slightly political interest in celibacy...

I've thought that about him from time to time also I think his lyrics have reflected that as well. When I was younger I was really into The Smiths and I read up on them and got as much as their music as I could. I haven't stopped listening to them or Morrissey's solo stuff but I haven't followed his politics in general lately much. I remember a rolling stone article from what seems like an eternity ago where he talks about having a girlfriend , but it has been years and I'm not sure if my memory is right.

[Zarathustra]

[quote=wallflower;1113555]I went to dinner once with a co-worker at a restaurant at which his girlfriend worked. The aforementioned girlfriend walked up to our table and, instead of a proper introduction, my co-worker said "this is my girlfriend, she's bisexual". I mean, WTF? Don't I at least get a name first?! [quote]

Thats awfull, i would hate to be that girlfriend! What is that guy thinking!
I don't like to be called a bisexual girl. It's like you are defined by your sexuality only, and how can that feel right?
In my experience you get attacked by all sides as a bisexual. I am a bi-female, but i won't mention it if there is no need for it. My sexuality is my business, and not something to throw in somebodies face.
But even bisexuals are judgemental, when i got married to a male i was no longer taken seriously. Like i am imprisoned or caged or something, and betrayed my 'own people'. Just nonsense. Everbody gives his own meaning to a marriage, and my husband is bisexual too so he understands it perfectly.
I don't see a lot of differences when it comes to the reactions of most homosexuals or heterosexuals when it comes to bisexuality; being different from (some/most of) them is the problem. When you don't fit it, you are an outsider. And when you get married, you no longer fit the bisexual crowed, that's what i found out.
I just gave up on the idea that people have to understand my choices when it comes to sexuality. When it feels right to me, and my partner, it is just fine.

[Y Chwyldro Comiwnyddol Cymraeg]

I too am bi, and homophobia is rampant in my school. Gays/Bis are viewed as freaks. I heared one boy voice homophobic stetments, only for me and him to get off with each other! I have yet to come out as bi, because I know I would loose a few "friends" and any chance of dating a girl. Id also get bullied like hell, and never play rugby again!!!Its to much to loose for the chance of more gay sex.

Homophobia is very much accepted by most members of society....my teacher even.

Being bi seemed "fun" a year or so ago...not any more. I cant express my feelings without risking my current comfortable life.

[WorkingClassHero]

I'm a bisexual female. Not confused, but BISEXUAL. I had my first girlfriend when I was twelve-thirteen years old. I've been attracted to both men and women as far back as I can remember, even as a child. It was a very difficult thing to come to terms with, and the awkwardness and what I'd call "torment" I went through was horrible. I cried when my mother "forced" me out of the closet. (She saw my orientation as "bi" on my myspace. She tries to ignore it.)

There's NOTHING that makes me more furious than to see these stupid girls who claim that they are bisexual merely for attention. (By attention, I mean regular attention and sexual attention from men.) I especially hate it when they MAKE IT A POINT to put on little shows for everyone in public just for attention. That, and they assume that being bisexual is like a license to be a whore. It makes it VERY difficult for bisexuals like myself who WANT TO CARRY ON WITH LIFE without being dubbed a slut or a poser. What about people like me, who are bisexual but aren't promiscuous? Those of us who acknowledge it as a part of us, and don't feel the need to make a show out of it? Honestly, it really sucks.

I think that bisexual men get the flack for being "actually gay" because it's not as common for men to be attracted to both genders, and the fact that alot of gay guys DO use "bisexuality" as a transition phase to coming out of the closet. It's also the fact that men and women function different sexually. (Obviously.) You can be a straight woman and be attracted to women but not be bi or gay.

To the person who mentioned that someone introduced their girlfriend as, "Hi, this is my girlfriend. She's bisexual." If ANY of my significant others had ever introduced me to anyone that way, I would slap them in the face and leave.

[YeOldeCommuniste]

I'm a bisexual, I can remember having attractions towards both males and females ever since I was a young child. I think it's ridiculous that both homosexuals and heterosexuals attack us and claim that we're either closet gays (mostly said about bisexual males) or trying to be attention whores (mostly said about females). These harsh critics and skeptics obviously aren't bisexual, so why do they feel that they can judge whether it exists or not? It's quite frustrating.

I also think it's annoying how some girls pretend to be bisexual just to get attention from guys. -_- However I will say one thing, these fake bisexuals have sort of made bisexuality in females more mainstream, and more widely accepted, and even if it is for the wrong reasons, it's certainly made it easier for me to have "come out" to the few people that I have.

[Peacekeeper]

Comrades who are bisexual -- do you find that being bisexual is attacked from both the heterosexual world and the homosexual world?

Yes. :crying:

[Module]

I'm a bisexual, I can remember having attractions towards both males and females ever since I was a young child. I think it's ridiculous that both homosexuals and heterosexuals attack us and claim that we're either closet gays (mostly said about bisexual males) or trying to be attention whores (mostly said about females). These harsh critics and skeptics obviously aren't bisexual, so why do they feel that they can judge whether it exists or not? It's quite frustrating.
Notice the fact that both bisexual men and women are both presumed to be secretly lying about their sole attraction to men.
I think it could be a sort of underlying belief - why would you choose to be attracted to women over men; Men are clearly the 'stronger' sex.
But then that's just a suggestion,
You know, not asserting anything, here.

[Sam_b]

Comrades who are bisexual -- do you find that being bisexual is attacked from both the heterosexual world and the homosexual world?


No. I find the LGBT community to show as much solidarity with us as any other group discriminated by sexuality.


I also think it's annoying how some girls pretend to be bisexual just to get attention from guys. -_- However I will say one thing, these fake bisexuals...

How can we make that assumption? If there's one thing our community is guilty of its judging people as being 'not really LGBT' or 'fake bisexuals'. If someone identifies themselves with this particular group/preference, who are we to say that they can't?

[Destroy capitalism]

Dorothy Teppov wrote a book called 'love and limerance' where one of her theses is that your sexuality is not who you have sex with but what gender you fall in love with. A gay guy in my class agrees with this, a girl told me she's been in love with a girlfriend and also recently in love with a boyfriend, so disproving Teppov, but she's the only person I ever met who claimed this, although i think oddball onetime pseudo-Commie Julie Burchill did onetime too before she left her girlfriend for the girlfriends brother.Favourite Julie Birchill quote: why does anyone nedd comedians, prostitutes or therapist, have they got no friends? anyway opinions on the 'it's who you fall in love with' theory? Bisexuality is hard on lesbian lovers who fall in love with you and get their heart broken when you only fall in love with men. Recreational bisexuals should probably keep this exploitative aspect in mind.

[YeOldeCommuniste]

Notice the fact that both bisexual men and women are both presumed to be secretly lying about their sole attraction to men.
I think it could be a sort of underlying belief - why would you choose to be attracted to women over men; Men are clearly the 'stronger' sex.
But then that's just a suggestion,
You know, not asserting anything, here.

That's interesting, I'd never thought of it that way... Good point.


How can we make that assumption? If there's one thing our community is guilty of its judging people as being 'not really LGBT' or 'fake bisexuals'. If someone identifies themselves with this particular group/preference, who are we to say that they can't?

That's true, I really didn't mean to sound hypocritical there. I do have several friends, however, who don't hide the fact that they've made out with their female friends just to get a guy's attention. And then there are the girls who will say they're bi all through high school and college, then afterwards retract that and say they're straight, and try to hide the fact that they ever claimed anything different. I mean I know sexuality isn't a fixed thing, but it seems to happen quite often.

[DustWolf]

Dorothy Teppov wrote a book called 'love and limerance' where one of her theses is that your sexuality is not who you have sex with but what gender you fall in love with.

Why call it a sexuality then? If it's not about sex?

[Destroy capitalism]

because being 'in love' is a neurochemical condition stimulated and maintained by sexual interest being however temporarily focussed obsessively on one 'object'
it's also a piece of socially constructed bollockology, but i'm too tired to remember the name -is it ocytocin or something like that - of the chemical, just shows it's six years since i was shafted out of my career in neuro. i've heard of cases of -women primarily- being 'in love' whilst devoid of sexual interest of any sort, Maud Gonne was that way, so I'm at a loss for a theory as to how their oxytocin? someone help me out here, goes haywire. mind (imagination, fantasy, delusion)over matter(brain) http://www.vivo.colostate.edu/hbooks/pathphys/endocrine/hypopit/oxytocin.html there we go, they've generalized from maternal bond to lurve

[DustWolf]

because being 'in love' is a neurochemical condition stimulated and maintained by sexual interest being however temporarily focussed obsessively on one 'object'

I disagree. Based on personal experience if this counts for anything. I fall in love with people that I have no sexual interest in and never will (because they are, say wrong gender or species). I would not call it a sexuality, because it has nothing to do with sex.

It is love and it is not initiated by sexual interest. Sorry to ruin your wonderful but very anthropocentric theory.