Organic Revolution
12th November 2007, 21:25
Conflict Mediation
Daydreaming of a World Without Cops
By Zhonn
Earth First Journal
Are we capable of abolishing the hierarchical police state that controls our communities, without having the police in our minds take over just as rampantly? Is it realistic to develop a radical solution to the system of domination that we face when attempting to reach peaceful resolution to conflict in our radical communities? If so, what model would we use? Would it ensure safety within our communities? Is it possible to spark fruitful dialogue in the midst of high-stress, potentially community-dividing situations?
This Summer, the Earth First! conflict mediation team worked diligently—sometimes all night and all day—to reach consensus on these pressing questions and to mediate situations that unfurled within our week-and-a-half rondy community.
Our team of committed mediators took it a step further than just having a team, and set up a common safe space within the camp. The goal of this space was to provide a non-threatening environment in which rondy-goers could talk with conflict mediators who had sober, open ears. The space was intended and prepared to handle situations including (but not limited to) abuse, rape, intimate violence and just general disagreements. People having mental health emergencies or even just needing a space to chill or talk were also welcomed.
Mediators checked in with each other daily, or sometimes even multiple times a day. At all times, a handful of mediators were equipped with walkie-talkies and ready to dive into action! The team, with the greatly-appreciated help of other rondy goers, mediated its way through a few bewildering, high-stress situations. After a long time of processing the trauma that the team encountered and discussing how to handle situations in the future, we came up with some of the following ideas.
A Brief Glance Into the World of Conflict Resolution and Mediating
Before you decide to mediate a conflict, you must evaluate whether you are honestly capable of doing so. Are you mentally capable of mediating well at that particular moment? Can you identify anything about yourself that might compromise a safe place for this discussion—such as your age, perceived gender or race—or do you have a biased view toward one of the subjects of the conflict? Something else to consider is whether you have been using drugs or alcohol recently. Although it may not bother you, the use of drugs and alcohol may definitely deter some from gaining your trust.
Once you have determined that you are the appropriate persyn to mediate a conflict, it is important to analyze the situation before jumping in. There may be other individuals already mediating, in which case it is extremely important to respect this and simply listen.
There are also many different stages to conflict. By familiarizing yourself with these stages, you can better identify how and where you can help. If someone has already de-escalated a situation, be sure to follow in the pre-established direction. What follows is one model of conflict stages so that you can really get to meet and love conflict mediation! Yahoo!
Invisible Conflict: At this stage, the separate parties may not yet know that they are tiptoeing on the verge of conflict. This could be as clear as when an actual abuse happens or as cloudy and unforeseeable as when a persyn gets offended but can’t quite put their finger on why. It also includes the “point of silence,” when a persyn isn’t comfortable confronting their abuser or oppressor.
Conflict Explosion: Here, a triggering event leads to calling someone out on an action or to confronting an oppressor or abuser.
Conflict Escalation: This is when things could get really ugly. Each side may begin making threats; violence may become involved. If there is already violence, it could get worse. Intense, hurtful arguing and anger may also occur.
Hurting/Plateauing: After escalating for a while, a conflict usually reaches a lull, during which neither side is getting closer to their needs. They may just decide not to talk about it anymore; they may also be so hurt that it is out of their capacity to confront the situation any longer. This stage can be very brief or last a very long time.
De-escalation/Transformation: Here, we begin to see the sides come to terms with each other in some way. Maybe parties realize that their demands were unreasonable, or maybe an apology is made. Many things can happen here! The basic concept is that both sides begin to move toward more positive communication and brainstorm ways to reconcile.
Reconciliation/Agreement: Finally, there is true resolution! The sides agree on certain terms for moving out of the conflict. They may discuss options, accountability groups, safe places for each party and long-term support groups. This is basically where the magic happens.
Post-Conflict/Healing: This marks the time when people actually step back into their lives again, but with a different point of view. If there were perpetrators, it is time for them to begin the process toward change and becoming a healthy persyn—under their own motivation and with the help of their community. This is also the time when survivors gain a little more control in their lives and can attempt to move in a safe, healthy direction, also with the help of the community! In non-oppressive conflicts, each side can move in different directions with the decisions that have evolved out of the mediation process.
Things We Learned From Last Summer’s Rendezvous
It is imperative that the individuals engulfed in a conflict feel safe with their mediators—especially when the situation is one-on-one—because of all the ingrained imbalances that society has tarnished our minds with. It is nearly impossible for an outside mediator to have a true understanding of who they are listening to, because out-groups can only develop sympathy, as opposed to the shared empathy experienced in in-groups. But no situation should go unmediated, and it is up to the mediation group to safely approach conflicts and adjust as quickly as possible to each situation’s unique needs.
Battling burnout within our group was another concern. When dealing with exasperating situations, it is necessary to take time for ourselves and rotate on-call duties. Taking time to debrief and listen to each other after stressful encounters is a must. When mediating, it is possible to be exposed to events triggering of past memories, shock at what we are witnessing, physical fatigue from long hours of mediating and post-traumatic stress disorder from all of the intensive moments.
Taking steps to prevent burnout could mean the difference between people taking off or leaving the group altogether, and a healthy, happy, stable group.
An Alternative to the Current Authoritarian Models
When a fight breaks out, an abuse occurs or someone neglects their child, do we call the cops? Hopefully, the answer is hell no! Yet, there is a strong and distinct difference between merely opposing capitalist scumbag authoritarians and training and equipping our communities with well-defined plans of action for addressing conflicts when they come up. It is every community’s responsibility to be capable of helping and supporting individuals through conflicts and to be available for necessary follow-up support.
For those who have been to jail or struggled through the dank, eerie corridors of the “legal” system: Is this anything you would knowingly drop a member of your community into? The system’s current model of fake rehabilitation is one of the most ineffective and destructive pitfalls of the capitalist system. It is time that we take a serious look at our commitment to working toward a better future and develop solid, working accountability models and support groups for perpetrators. We live in a sick and tragic society of many dangerous spectacles. It is nearly impossible to expect that unhealthy, ingrained living patterns will never rear their heads in radical communities. That’s why it is imperative for us to develop these models—so that perpetrators who wish to change can feel comfortable coming out, knowing that they will get the support and help they need to become healthier members of our radical communities!
The degree of your support for people can determine how safe or unsafe they feel. If you can provide strong, non-threatening mediation at the outset, this could eliminate their feelings of needing to have authority figures involved. Until radical communities can prove that we are there for people, there will always be the chance that people deflect to their learned patterns (including calling the cops). The degree of support and safety that we provide after a conflict can also avert the need to rely on mainstream shelters, which may hold patriarchal tendencies, be queer/trans-phobic or just not be capable of offering an unbiased eye when it comes to seeing that people get the support they need.
Please note that while calling the cops isn’t fun, if people choose to get the cops involved you should respect their decision.
The Future of Conflict Mediation
The rondy’s mediation group has developed a new listserv to share resources and discuss conflict mediation issues online. It is our hope that this listserv can be a tool to help facilitate discussions as we head into future gatherings. It will especially point out specific people to set up the safe space and volunteer to mediate. Because of this pre-gathering planning, no future event should go without a space for mediation. Advance planning will also take some responsibility off the backs of individual bioregional organizers.
So you’re ready to take on the world now, huh?
For more info on conflict mediation, establishing support groups, consent and anti-oppression work, visit www.earthfirstjournal.org.
http://www.earthfirstjournal.org/article.php?id=325
Daydreaming of a World Without Cops
By Zhonn
Earth First Journal
Are we capable of abolishing the hierarchical police state that controls our communities, without having the police in our minds take over just as rampantly? Is it realistic to develop a radical solution to the system of domination that we face when attempting to reach peaceful resolution to conflict in our radical communities? If so, what model would we use? Would it ensure safety within our communities? Is it possible to spark fruitful dialogue in the midst of high-stress, potentially community-dividing situations?
This Summer, the Earth First! conflict mediation team worked diligently—sometimes all night and all day—to reach consensus on these pressing questions and to mediate situations that unfurled within our week-and-a-half rondy community.
Our team of committed mediators took it a step further than just having a team, and set up a common safe space within the camp. The goal of this space was to provide a non-threatening environment in which rondy-goers could talk with conflict mediators who had sober, open ears. The space was intended and prepared to handle situations including (but not limited to) abuse, rape, intimate violence and just general disagreements. People having mental health emergencies or even just needing a space to chill or talk were also welcomed.
Mediators checked in with each other daily, or sometimes even multiple times a day. At all times, a handful of mediators were equipped with walkie-talkies and ready to dive into action! The team, with the greatly-appreciated help of other rondy goers, mediated its way through a few bewildering, high-stress situations. After a long time of processing the trauma that the team encountered and discussing how to handle situations in the future, we came up with some of the following ideas.
A Brief Glance Into the World of Conflict Resolution and Mediating
Before you decide to mediate a conflict, you must evaluate whether you are honestly capable of doing so. Are you mentally capable of mediating well at that particular moment? Can you identify anything about yourself that might compromise a safe place for this discussion—such as your age, perceived gender or race—or do you have a biased view toward one of the subjects of the conflict? Something else to consider is whether you have been using drugs or alcohol recently. Although it may not bother you, the use of drugs and alcohol may definitely deter some from gaining your trust.
Once you have determined that you are the appropriate persyn to mediate a conflict, it is important to analyze the situation before jumping in. There may be other individuals already mediating, in which case it is extremely important to respect this and simply listen.
There are also many different stages to conflict. By familiarizing yourself with these stages, you can better identify how and where you can help. If someone has already de-escalated a situation, be sure to follow in the pre-established direction. What follows is one model of conflict stages so that you can really get to meet and love conflict mediation! Yahoo!
Invisible Conflict: At this stage, the separate parties may not yet know that they are tiptoeing on the verge of conflict. This could be as clear as when an actual abuse happens or as cloudy and unforeseeable as when a persyn gets offended but can’t quite put their finger on why. It also includes the “point of silence,” when a persyn isn’t comfortable confronting their abuser or oppressor.
Conflict Explosion: Here, a triggering event leads to calling someone out on an action or to confronting an oppressor or abuser.
Conflict Escalation: This is when things could get really ugly. Each side may begin making threats; violence may become involved. If there is already violence, it could get worse. Intense, hurtful arguing and anger may also occur.
Hurting/Plateauing: After escalating for a while, a conflict usually reaches a lull, during which neither side is getting closer to their needs. They may just decide not to talk about it anymore; they may also be so hurt that it is out of their capacity to confront the situation any longer. This stage can be very brief or last a very long time.
De-escalation/Transformation: Here, we begin to see the sides come to terms with each other in some way. Maybe parties realize that their demands were unreasonable, or maybe an apology is made. Many things can happen here! The basic concept is that both sides begin to move toward more positive communication and brainstorm ways to reconcile.
Reconciliation/Agreement: Finally, there is true resolution! The sides agree on certain terms for moving out of the conflict. They may discuss options, accountability groups, safe places for each party and long-term support groups. This is basically where the magic happens.
Post-Conflict/Healing: This marks the time when people actually step back into their lives again, but with a different point of view. If there were perpetrators, it is time for them to begin the process toward change and becoming a healthy persyn—under their own motivation and with the help of their community. This is also the time when survivors gain a little more control in their lives and can attempt to move in a safe, healthy direction, also with the help of the community! In non-oppressive conflicts, each side can move in different directions with the decisions that have evolved out of the mediation process.
Things We Learned From Last Summer’s Rendezvous
It is imperative that the individuals engulfed in a conflict feel safe with their mediators—especially when the situation is one-on-one—because of all the ingrained imbalances that society has tarnished our minds with. It is nearly impossible for an outside mediator to have a true understanding of who they are listening to, because out-groups can only develop sympathy, as opposed to the shared empathy experienced in in-groups. But no situation should go unmediated, and it is up to the mediation group to safely approach conflicts and adjust as quickly as possible to each situation’s unique needs.
Battling burnout within our group was another concern. When dealing with exasperating situations, it is necessary to take time for ourselves and rotate on-call duties. Taking time to debrief and listen to each other after stressful encounters is a must. When mediating, it is possible to be exposed to events triggering of past memories, shock at what we are witnessing, physical fatigue from long hours of mediating and post-traumatic stress disorder from all of the intensive moments.
Taking steps to prevent burnout could mean the difference between people taking off or leaving the group altogether, and a healthy, happy, stable group.
An Alternative to the Current Authoritarian Models
When a fight breaks out, an abuse occurs or someone neglects their child, do we call the cops? Hopefully, the answer is hell no! Yet, there is a strong and distinct difference between merely opposing capitalist scumbag authoritarians and training and equipping our communities with well-defined plans of action for addressing conflicts when they come up. It is every community’s responsibility to be capable of helping and supporting individuals through conflicts and to be available for necessary follow-up support.
For those who have been to jail or struggled through the dank, eerie corridors of the “legal” system: Is this anything you would knowingly drop a member of your community into? The system’s current model of fake rehabilitation is one of the most ineffective and destructive pitfalls of the capitalist system. It is time that we take a serious look at our commitment to working toward a better future and develop solid, working accountability models and support groups for perpetrators. We live in a sick and tragic society of many dangerous spectacles. It is nearly impossible to expect that unhealthy, ingrained living patterns will never rear their heads in radical communities. That’s why it is imperative for us to develop these models—so that perpetrators who wish to change can feel comfortable coming out, knowing that they will get the support and help they need to become healthier members of our radical communities!
The degree of your support for people can determine how safe or unsafe they feel. If you can provide strong, non-threatening mediation at the outset, this could eliminate their feelings of needing to have authority figures involved. Until radical communities can prove that we are there for people, there will always be the chance that people deflect to their learned patterns (including calling the cops). The degree of support and safety that we provide after a conflict can also avert the need to rely on mainstream shelters, which may hold patriarchal tendencies, be queer/trans-phobic or just not be capable of offering an unbiased eye when it comes to seeing that people get the support they need.
Please note that while calling the cops isn’t fun, if people choose to get the cops involved you should respect their decision.
The Future of Conflict Mediation
The rondy’s mediation group has developed a new listserv to share resources and discuss conflict mediation issues online. It is our hope that this listserv can be a tool to help facilitate discussions as we head into future gatherings. It will especially point out specific people to set up the safe space and volunteer to mediate. Because of this pre-gathering planning, no future event should go without a space for mediation. Advance planning will also take some responsibility off the backs of individual bioregional organizers.
So you’re ready to take on the world now, huh?
For more info on conflict mediation, establishing support groups, consent and anti-oppression work, visit www.earthfirstjournal.org.
http://www.earthfirstjournal.org/article.php?id=325