Travellers Unite: Need Critique

[Rage Against Right]

This a poem I have writen to be included in an essay and i was looking for some opinion, because i am relatively new to poetry but am enjoying it and would like some opinion
THanks in advance!

Travellers Unite
The dawn has come and past
The new day is not new
The afternoon’s approaching
Along with the night dew

The wind blows the sounds of past to now
And now until the end
But he who comes and goes
Remains at home around the bend

The songbird sings one last song
The dog cries one last bark
But the one that works and does not live
His years are looking dark


Again the weary traveller rests
To see which route to take
He does not look back and sigh
At his last mistake

The future is the place he looks
To find another way
He wants to change how things are
That made him apart the fray

Occasionally these travellers meet
With others the same kind
They talk of things years ahead
With intellect, the mind


Now few and far these travellers are
And the world is changing once again
This time the clouds are gathering
They will wait until the end

The taste of change is in the air
Revolution on the tong
The time to strike is at hand
The class war must be won

They gather round the old round table
To few to be divided
The time is right to make a stand
Now we are united

Bray 2007

[luxemburg89]

its good, you seem to have quite a direct style that speaks to the reader. I am supposing travellers is a metaphor for those who are lost about the movement? at least thats how i read it. I write a lot myself, more prose than poetry but i still write a lot of poetry. If you're interested in getting in talking about literature and our own work feel free to PM me any time - i always make time to talk about literature. You've got talent.

[PRC-UTE]

I thought he meant Travellers as in Irish gypsies.

[Raúl Duke]

I thought he meant Travellers as in Irish gypsies.

That's what I thought at first too...

(P.S. Don't they disaprove the use of the word "gypsy" here?)

[Rage Against Right]

Your all right, it's kind of one of those things as when i was writing it, the traveller was someone disallusioned with society in general, later on in the poem it draws more conatations to communism "the class war must be won" but it can be taken as a generalisation or specifics.

If anything when i was writing it I had the image of the Australian swagmen in my head, which are now a dying bread but i suppose that could be similiar to that of a gypsy lol (i don't know much of gypsies really)

thanx for the comment luxemburg89, i might just take you up on that offer!

[luxemburg89]

no problem - like i said i can always make time for poetry and literary discussion. It's very important.