peaccenicked
14th March 2002, 21:54
Constant criticism, nit-picking, no empathy, control freak, charm, devious, manipulative, mind control, mental cruelty, emotional cruelty Read this
The serial bully
Identifying the psychopath or sociopath in our midst including the socialised psychopathic manager.
"All cruelty springs from weakness."
(Seneca, 4BC-AD65)
"Most organisations have a serial bully. It never ceases to amaze me how one person's divisive, disordered, dysfunctional behaviour can permeate the entire organisation like a cancer."
Tim Field
"The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance my deride it, but in the end, there it is."
Winston Churchill
"Denial of the existence of the serial bully is the most common reason for an unsatisfactory outcome of a bullying case for both the employee and employer"
Tim Field
I estimate one person in thirty, male or female, is a serial bully. Who does the following profile describe in your life?
The serial bully:
is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act
excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive
uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance
is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict
is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic
relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon
is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly
cannot be trusted or relied upon
fails to fulfil commitments
shows an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy
exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual violence or sexual abuse
in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy
holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret
is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion
is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity
displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence
shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water
flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation
refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer
is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability
undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask
is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them
is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviours
is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account
is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)
when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behaviour and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty
is greedy, selfish, and a parasite
is always a taker and never a giver
is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus
often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself
is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication
sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic
Responsibility
The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behaviour and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behaviour and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On this page
Introduction to the serial bully | Detailed profile of the serial bully
Denial - avoiding acceptance of responsibility
Sexual assault and denial in the Paul Hickson case
Projection | Affairs | Validity of testimony | Other web pages
On another page
Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) | Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) | Borderline Personality Disorder
Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy | Attention seeking
How, where and why bullies target their victims
The focus of this page is the serial bully in the workplace, however, the profile is relevant to most types of abusers, including:
adult bullies in the workplace
abusive and violent partners and family members
abusers of those in care
bullying neighbours, landlords, authorities, etc
con artists and swindlers
cult leaders
child bullies who are going to grow up (sic) to be adult bullies
racial and sexual harassers
sexual abusers and paedophiles
stalkers
arsonists
rapists and those who commit acts of sexual violence
violent offenders including organized serial killers (ie those not suffering paranoid schizophrenia etc)
Anecdotal evidence indicates that the serial bully in the workplace is also a serial bully at home and in the community.
The common objective of these offenders is power, control, domination and subjugation. What varies is the means by which these are pursued, ie the way in which violence is expressed. Most of the offenders in the list above commit criminal or arrestable offences; the serial bully commits mostly non-arrestable offences, for example:
negligence
incompetence
maladministration
neglect of duty
dereliction of duty
misappropriation of budgets
financial irregularities and fiddling the books
fiddling expenses
falsifying time sheets
pilfering
stealing, diverting, skimming, or "losing" clients' money and investments
embezzlement
fraud
deception
malpractice
misrepresentation
conspiracy (eg to obstruct or pervert the course of justice)
using the employer's resources to run their own business on the side
moonlighting for employer's clients or competitors
leaking information to people who should not be in possession of that information
awarding contracts to family and friends
failure to fulfil obligations
breaches of health and safety regulations
breaches of rules and regulations
breaches of codes of conduct
indiscretions
impropriety
inappropriate sexual conduct
being the target of previous grievance and disciplinary action
being the target of previous legal action (unfair dismissal, harassment, personal injury, etc)
fraudulent qualifications and misleading or bogus claims of professional affiliation (check the bully's CV carefully)
collusion
corruption
being sacked or asked to leave their previous job(s)
recruitment through nepotism or favouritism rather than ability
extra-marital affairs - see below
at home: poor credit rating, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, neglect, abandonment
If you have more examples from your experience of non-arrestable offences please email them to me.
Most cases of bullying involve a serial bully - one person to whom all the dysfunction can be traced. The serial bully has done this before, is doing it now - and will do it again. Investigation will reveal a string of predecessors who have either left unexpectedly or in suspicious circumstances, have taken early or ill-health retirement, have been unfairly dismissed, have been involved in disciplinary or legal action, or have had stress breakdowns. Serial bullies exploit the recent frenzy of downsizing and reorganisation to hinder recognition of the pattern of previous cases.
The serial bully in the workplace is often found in a job which is a position of power, has a high administrative or procedural content but little or no creative requirement, and which provides opportunities for demonstrating a "caring" or "leadership" nature.
Introduction to the serial bully
Embittered by an abusive upbringing, seething with resentment, irritated by others' failure to fulfil his or her superior sense of entitlement, and fuelled by anger resulting from rejection, the serial bully displays an obsessive, compulsive and self-gratifying urge to displace their uncontrolled aggression onto others whilst exhibiting an apparent lack of insight into their behaviour and its effect on people around them. Jealousy and envy motivate the bully to identify a competent and popular individual who is then controlled and subjugated through projection of the bully's own inadequacy and incompetence. When the target asserts their right not to be bullied, a paranoid fear of exposure compels the bully to perceive that person as a threat and hence neutralise and dispose of them as quickly as possible. Once a person has been eliminated there's an interval of between 2 days and 2 weeks before the bully chooses another target and the cycle starts again.
Detailed profile of the serial bully
The serial bully also:
is selfish and acts out of self-interest, self-aggrandisement and self-preservation at all times; everything can be traced back to the self - even the seemingly innocuous "How are you today?" translates to "Is there any comeback on me as to how you're feeling today?"
is insensitive, often callously indifferent to the needs of others, and especially when others are experiencing difficulty (vulnerability is a major stimulant to the serial bully)
is incapable of reciprocity, ie unable and unwilling to reciprocate any positive gesture
sees anyone attempting to be conciliatory as a sucker to be exploited
uses criticism, humiliation, etc in the guise of addressing shortfalls in performance - in reality, these are for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement
appears to be intelligent but often performs poorly in academic or professional roles, despite appearances; the intelligence is focused exclusively on deviousness, cunning, scheming, manipulation, evasiveness, deceptiveness, quick-wittedness, craftiness, self-centredness, etc
is unable to maintain confidentiality, often breaching it with misrepresentation, distortion and fabrication
distorts, twists, concocts and fabricates criticisms and allegations, and abuses the disciplinary procedures - again, for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement
uses gossip, back-stabbing or spreads rumours to undermine, discredit and isolate
is untrustworthy and unable to trust others - this partly explains the compulsion for excessive monitoring
is drawn to positions of power and abuses that power
is autocratic and dictatorial, often using phrases like "you shouldn't..." or "you ought to..."
may appear superficially competent and professional at their job, but behind the facade is inadequate, inept, poor at their job, often incompetent; survives only by plagiarising other people's work, and being carried by those they bully
wraps himself or herself in a flag or tradition and usurps others' objectives, thereby nurturing compliance, reverence, deference, endorsement and obeisance; however, such veneration and allegiance is divisive, being a corruption for personal power which exhibits itself through the establishment of a clique, coterie, cabal, faction, or gang
is a divisive and disruptive influence, their departments are dysfunctional and inefficient, and their behaviour prevents staff from performing their duties
is unusually susceptible to minor slights or perceived slights and bears grudges which may be acted on years later when the transgressor can be denied promotion or downsized in the bully's "reorganisation"
gains gratification from provoking people into emotional or irrational responses but is quick to claim provocation by others when challenged
has a short-term focus and often cannot think or plan ahead more than 24 hours
appears to have a short, selective memory and often cannot or will not remember what they said, did, or committed to more than 24 hours ago - but is always able to remember your faults, often from years ago
the serial bully seems to live in a bubble of the present and when challenged will spontaneously make things up; the bully genuinely seems to believe the fabrication; from a psychiatric viewpoint this could be called confabulation; from a moral viewpoint, it's called lying
is often like a child who has never grown up
exhibits immature behaviour and poor manners
has poor communication skills, poor interpersonal skills, poor social skills
often misses social cues
has poor language skills, and uses almost exclusively negative language with few or no positive words; is often limited to parroting fad phrases and regurgitating the latest management jargon
has poorly-defined moral and ethical boundaries
acts out of gratification and self-interest only, often using and hiding behind the employer
extrovert bullies tend to be shouters and screamers, are highly visible, and bully from the front
extrovert bullies can be charismatic and seem to be able to bewitch people into following and supporting them
introvert bullies - the most dangerous types - tend to sit in the background and recruit others to do the bullying for them - when dealing with this type of bullying, identify the arch-bully in the background and focus single-mindedly on that person - the others will melt away
is a killjoy, a wet blanket, is unreceptive and finds fault with or pours scorn on other people's ideas and suggestions, but may regurgitate them later claiming to be the originator
often has a hatred of a sector of society, eg ethnic minorities, disabled people, etc
often has a hatred of certain professional groups, eg psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, counsellors, therapists
is unimaginative and lacks the skills of creativity and innovation
rarely has any ideas of his or her own; tends to regurgitate what others (especially superiors) say rather than use own thinking
is a plagiarist, steals other people's work - and the credit for it
has a writing style that is disjointed, lacks flow and consistency, tends to make contradictory statements, and has the feel of a young teenager trying to write like a grown-up (apologies to teenagers)
often uses false praise or praise which is inappropriate to the circumstances; this is partly to make the bully feel good, partly for the benefit of witnesses, partly poor judgement, partly immaturity, and partly for control and subjugation to throw their target off guard
is unable and unwilling to value others and their contributions and achievements; is often scornful
shows discrepancy in valuing tasks, deliberately devaluing the work and achievements of others; when the bully does a certain job, it's onerous, difficult and the bully needs lots of recognition; when their target does the same job it's trivial, of little or no value, not worth mentioning
is ungrateful and rarely (if ever) says "thank you" or "well done" (except, perhaps, if impressionable witnesses are present)
is frequently sarcastic, especially in contexts where sarcasm is inappropriate and unprofessional
is unable to assess the importance of events and tasks, often making an unnecessary fuss over trivia whilst ignoring important or urgent things
exhibits duplicity and hypocrisy, eg says one thing one day and denies it the next
often has an overwhelming (and unhealthy) need to feel recognised and wanted
is fastidious, often has an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness or orderliness
is insincere and false
has never learnt the skills of and has little concept of empathy; may use charm and mimicry to compensate
attempts at empathy are superficial, amateur, often inappropriate or inappropriately high, and based on mimicry rather than genuine concern - and are for the purpose of making the bully look and feel good, especially in front of witnesses
when required to show empathy, eg someone is in distress or needs help, responds either with impatience and aggression (if no-one else is present), or with a fulsome and effusive attempt at empathy (if witnesses are present)
is unwilling to apologise for mistakes, except occasionally when witnesses are present, then the apology is fulsome, artificial, and inappropriate - but sufficiently convincing for peers and superiors
is quick to blame others
is uncharacteristically fulsome and effusive, especially in front of witnesses - but hollow and insincere
is devious and manipulative (especially female bullies)
is spiteful and vengeful (ditto)
uses aggression almost exclusively but claims to be assertive (assertiveness is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others)
has unpredictable mood swings, blows hot and cold, often suddenly and without warning
is inconsistent in their judgement, often overruling, ignoring or denying what they said previously
is inflexible and unable to evaluate options and alternatives
is unforgiving and often seizes on and exploits others' mistakes or perceived mistakes
is financially irresponsible and often has a bad credit rating
has a cavalier attitude to Health and Safety
is quick to anger and often has an unpredictable temper
can be unpredictably and disarmingly pleasant, especially when you are unmasking them in front others - this plays on people's sympathies and is a use of guilt for manipulation and control
is often humourless and emotionally flat; attempts at humour are often shallow and superficial
is insecure and sees others as a threat; the threat seems to comprise a fear of exposure of inadequacy, and often borders on paranoia; the individual may have a paranoid personality
is uncommunicative and uncooperative, and is evasive when asked for information (eg by subordinates)
for communication, often relies excessively or exclusively on memos, emails, yellow stickies, or third parties and other strategies for avoiding face-to-face contact
has no listening skills, ignores and overrules you; it can be like talking to a brick wall
displays inappropriate body language and eye contact (eg too much or too little)
often reported as having an evil stare, sometimes with eyes that appear black rather than coloured
is unable to sustain a mature adult conversation (you may only realise this in retrospect)
sees people as objects (in the same way that child sex abusers and rapists see their targets as objects for their gratification)
often displays interpersonal behaviour that is ill-advised, especially with a sexual overtone, eg invasion of intimate zone, gestures or comments which include inappropriate sexual references or innuendo, being inappropriately intimate with clients, being too friendly too soon, etc
is incapable of intimacy
lacks a conscience and shows no remorse
displays excessive and rigid adherence to procedures, rules, regulations etc, usually as a cover for lack of creativity; their work is largely bureaucratic in nature and obedience of orders from above is a priority
finds ritual important and comforting, and frequently indulges in ritual and ritualistic activity
often forms or joins lots of committees to look busy and important but never achieves anything of significance or value
when called upon to exercise judgement, relies on and insists on rigid adherence to procedures and rules (this is an abdication of responsibility and an admission of inability to manage)
gains gratification from bullying people by imposing rules, regulations, laws etc and insisting on adherence thereto, regardless of their relevance or efficacy
often exhibits a psychopathic personality, the main features of which are:
an unwillingness to conform to the rules of society: thinks that rules, regulations, procedures and the law do not apply to them - but insists that others adhere rigidly
an inability to tolerate minor frustrations
a tendency to act impulsively, recklessly and randomly
an inability to form stable relationships (the bully's private life is usually a mess)
an inability or unwillingness to learn from past experience, however unpleasant - this "learning blindness" is a key feature of the serial bully and differentiates the serial bully from the unwitting bully; this inability to learn seems to be concentrated in the area of interpersonal, social, communication and behavioural skills; closer inspection suggests that the bully does learn from experience, but only how be more secretive and how to be more skilled at evading accountability
Other adjectives to describe the serial bully include cunning, conniving, scheming, calculating, cruel, sadistic, ruthless, treacherous, premeditated, exploitative, parasitic, pernicious, malevolent, obnoxious, opportunist, unconcerned, etc. Email me your suggestions.
The lack of interpersonal, social, and empathic skills are reminiscent of autism; the serial bully relies almost entirely on rules, procedures, aggression, denial and mimicry to hide their lack of people skills. Psychopaths and sociopaths are often excellent actors and mimics.
Most people with this profile are incompetent at their job - the bullying is intended to hide this incompetence. However, a few recent cases suggest that some serial bullies (especially the quiet ones):
are good at carrying out rule-based or procedurally-oriented jobs which require no free thinking or imagination; these people fall down when required to step outside this role, eg dealing with people
(especially males) excel in one area of work (usually scientific in nature) and may be regarded as the leading authority in their field but are lacking in almost every other respect, especially in interpersonal skills (this is reminiscent of savant syndrome); they also tend to be physically aggressive and may have a reputation for sexual harassment
Power over people
The serial bully is able to exert a hold over people for a variety of reasons.
Targets are disempowered such that they become dependent on the bully to allow them to get through each day without their life being made hell.
The serial bully is often able to bewitch a colleague into supporting them; this person then becomes the bully's spokesperson and advocate. How people can be so easily and repeatedly taken in by the bully's glib charm, Jekyll and Hyde nature, and constant lying is a mystery.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD)
The serial bully exhibits behaviours congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
The serial bully exhibits behaviours congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD)
The serial bully exhibits behaviours congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Paranoid Personality Disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Some visitors to Bully OnLine have suggested that the bullies in their lives exhibit characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Avoiding acceptance of responsibility - denial and feigning victimhood
The serial bully is an adult on the outside but a child on the inside; he or she is like a child who has never grown up. One suspects that the bully is emotionally retarded and has a level of emotional development equivalent to a five-year-old. The bully wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that go with enjoying the benefits of the adult world. In short, the bully has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour.
When called to account for the way they have chosen to behave, the bully instinctively:
a) denies everything. Variations include Trivialization ("This is so trivial it's not worth talking about...") and the Fresh Start tactic ("I don't know why you're so intent on dwelling on the past" and "Look, what's past is past, I'll overlook your behaviour and we'll start afresh") - this is an abdication of responsibility by the bully and an attempt to divert and distract attention by using false conciliation. Imagine if this line of defence were available to all criminals ("Look I know I've just murdered 12 people but that's all in the past, we can't change the past, let's put it behind us, concentrate on the future so we can all get on with our lives" - this would do wonders for prison overcrowding).
B) quickly follows the denial with an aggressive counter-attack of counter-criticism or counter-allegation, often based on distortion or fabrication. Lying, deception, duplicity, hypocrisy and blame are the hallmarks of this stage. The purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour. Often the target is tempted - or coerced - into giving another long explanation to prove the bully's allegation false; by the time the explanation is complete, everybody has forgotten the original question.
Both a) and B) are delivered with aggression in the guise of assertiveness; in fact there is no assertiveness (which is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others) at all. Note that explanation - of the original question - is conspicuous by its absence.
c) in the unlikely event of denial and counter-attack being insufficient, the bully feigns victimhood or feigns persecution by manipulating people through their emotions, especially guilt. This commonly takes the form of bursting into tears, which most people cannot handle. Variations include indulgent self-pity, feigning indignation, pretending to be "devastated", claiming they're the one being bullied or harassed, claiming to be "deeply offended", melodrama, martyrdom ("If it wasn't for me...") and a poor-me drama ("You don't know how hard it is for me ... blah blah blah ..." and "I'm the one who always has to...", "You think you're having a hard time ...", "I'm the one being bullied..."). Other tactics include manipulating people's perceptions to portray themselves as the injured party and the target as the villain of the piece. Sometimes the bully will suddenly claim to be suffering "stress". Alleged ill-health can also be a useful vehicle for gaining attention and sympathy. For suggestions on how to counter this see the advice on the FAQ page.
By using this response, the bully is able to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for what they have said or done. It is a pattern of behaviour learnt by about the age of 3; most children learn or are taught to grow out of this, but some are not and by adulthood, this avoidance technique has been practised to perfection.
A further advantage of the denial/counter-attack/feigning victimhood strategy is that it acts as a provocation. The target, who may have taken months to reach this stage, sees their tormentor getting away with it and is provoked into an angry and emotional outburst after which the bully says simply "There, I told you s/he was like that". Thus the bully plays their master stroke and casts their victim as villain.
When called to account for the way they have chosen to behave, mature adults do not respond by bursting into tears. If you're dealing with a serial bully who has just exhibited this avoidance tactic, sit passively and draw attention to the pattern of behaviour they've just exhibited, and then the purpose of the tactic. Then repeat the original question.
Bullies also rely on the denial of others and the fact that when their target reports the abuse they will be disbelieved ("are your sure this is really going on?", "I find it hard to believe - are you sure you're not imagining it?"). Frequently targets are asked why they didn't report the abuse before, and they will usually reply "because I didn't think anyone would believe me." Sadly they are often right in this assessment. Because of the Jekyll & Hyde nature, compulsive lying, and plausibility, no-one can - or wants - to believe it. Click here for a detailed explanation of the target's reluctance to report abuse.
Denial features in most cases of sexual assault, as in the case of Paul Hickson, the UK Olympic swimming coach who sexually assaulted and raped teenage girls in his care over a period of 20 years or more. When his victims were asked why they didn't report the abuse, most replied "Because I didn't think anyone would believe me". Abusers confidently, indeed arrogantly, rely on this belief, often aggressively inculcating (instilling) the belief ("No-one will ever believe you") just after the sexual assault when their victim is in a distressed state. Targets of bullying in the workplace often come up against the same attitudes by management when they report a bullying colleague. In a workplace environment, the bully usually recruits one or two colleagues (sometimes one is a sleeping partner - see Affairs below) who will back up the bully's denial when called to account.
Reflection
Serial bullies harbour a particular hatred of anyone who can articulate their behaviour profile, either verbally or in writing - as on this page - in a manner which helps other people see through their deception and their mask of deceit. The usual instinctive response is to launch a bitter personal attack on the person's credentials, lack of qualifications, and right to talk about personality disorders, psychopathic personality etc, whilst preserving their right to talk about anything they choose - all the while adding nothing to the debate themselves.
Serial bullies hate to see themselves and their behaviour reflected as if they are looking into a mirror.
Projection
Bullies project their inadequacies, shortcomings, behaviours etc on to other people to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it (learning about oneself can be painful), and to distract and divert attention away from themselves and their inadequacies. Projection is achieved through blame, criticism and allegation; once you realise this, every criticism, allegation etc that the bully makes about their target is actually an admission or revelation about themselves. This knowledge can be used to perceive the bully's own misdemeanours; for instance, when the allegations are of financial or sexual impropriety, it is likely that the bully has committed these acts; when the bully makes an allegation of abuse (such allegations tend to be vague and non-specific), it is likely to be the bully who has committed the abuse. When the bully makes allegations of, say, "cowardice" or "negative attitude" it is the bully who is a coward or has a negative attitude.
In these circumstances, the bully has to understand that if specious and insubstantive allegations are made, the bully will also be investigated.
When the symptoms of psychiatric injury become apparent to others, most bullies will play the Mental Health Trap, claiming their target is "mentally ill" or "mentally unstable" or has a "mental health problem". It is more likely that this allegation is a projection of the bully's own mental health problems. If this trap is being used on you, assert "projection" as a defence against disciplinary action or as part of your legal proceedings.
It is a key identifying feature of a person with a personality disorder or psychopathic personality that, when called to account, they will accuse the person who is unmasking them of being the one with the personality disorder or psychopathic personality from which they (the bully) suffer.
Affairs
Of around 5000 cases of bullying reported to Bully OnLine and the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line, in at least half the cases, the bully is having an affair with another member of staff. The affair has little to do with friendship, and a lot to do with strategic alliance in pursuit of power, control, domination and subjugation. In a further quarter of cases, there's often a suspected affair, and in the remaining quarter, there is often a relationship with another member of staff based not so much on sexual attraction but on a mutual admiration for the way each other behaves.
If the bully is a female in a junior position, she finds a weak male in a senior position (this is usually not difficult) - for example the President, Chief Executive, any Senior Executive, Finance Director, Personnel Director, or Departmental Director, etc - then gains patronage, protection and reward (eg promotion) by traditional methods. Once promotion is gained, the female calculates who can give her the next promotion; if the first male cannot, he is ditched and another adopted. The males are unlikely to admit this is happening or has happened.
If the bully is a male in a senior position, he is often sleeping with a secretary or office administrator, as this is where he gets his information and where he spreads his disinformation. Sometimes the female junior can be identified by her reward, eg being the only person allowed to hold the keys of the stock cupboard (everyone has to grovel to her if they want a new pen), or being put in charge of the office in the bully's absence when there are others who are senior to her who would make more appropriate deputies.
Most serial bullies have unhappy and unsatisfactory private lives which are characterised by a string of broken relationships. If you are the current target of a serial bully and taking legal action, a little digging into the bully's past, including their personal life, will usually unearth some unsavoury facts that the bully would prefer not to be made public. In some cases, serial bullies have been found to have criminal convictions for fraud, or to have been compelled to attend therapy or counselling for their habit of compulsive lying, or they might have a record of domestic violence. Under normal circumstances making these facts part of the proceedings might be considered unethical; however, if you're the target of a serial bully, the circumstances are not normal.
Validity of testimony
Because of the serial bully's Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, charm and plausibility, the validity of this person's testimony cannot be relied on in disciplinary proceedings, appeal hearings, and under oath at tribunal and in court. Emphasise this when taking action.
Mediation with this type of individual is inappropriate. Serial bullies regard mediation (and arbitration, conciliation, negotiation etc) as appeasement, which they ruthlessly exploit; it allows them to give the impression in public that they are negotiating and being conciliatory, whilst in private they continue the bullying. The lesson of the twentieth century is that you do not appease aggressors.
The disordered thinking processes of the criminal / antisocial mind are succinctly described in Stanton E Samenow's book Straight talk about criminals. For example:
"Certain people who I term non-arrestable criminals behave criminally towards others , but they are sufficiently fearful [and knowledgeable of the law - TF] so that they do not commit major crimes. We all know them: individuals who shamelessly use others to gain advantage for themselves. Having little empathy, they single-mindedly pursue their objectives and have little remorse for the injuries they inflict. If others take them to task, they become indignant and self-righteous and blame circumstances. Such people share much in common with the person who makes crime a way of life. Although they may not have broken the law, they nonetheless victimize others."
(Chapter 8, The criminal mind exists independent of particular laws, culture or customs)
In Samenow's 1984 book Inside the criminal mind he uses this description:
"Some criminals are smooth rather than contentious, ingratiating rather than surly, devious rather than intimidating. They pretend to be interested in what others say. Appearing to invite suggestions, they inwardly dismiss each idea without considering its merits. They seem to take criticism in stride but ignore it and spitefully make mental note of who the critic was. They misuse authority and betray trust but are not blatant about doing so. With the criminal at the helm, employee morale deteriorates. His method of operation sooner or later discourages others from proposing innovative ideas and developing creative solutions."
(Chapter 6, Work and the criminal)
I recommend both Samenow's books.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other web pages of interest
Robert D Hare is a world-leading authority on psychopathic behaviour and author of The Hare PCL-R Psychopathy Checklist Revised. See http://www.hare.org/ and his articles: Psychopaths: New Trends in Research and Psychopathy and Antisocial Personality Disorder: A Case of Diagnostic Confusion
Industrial Psychopaths can thrive in business: not all psychopaths end up in prison. Many are found in management positions, according to Dr Paul Babiak speaking at the annual meeting of the American Neuropsychiatric Association.
Treatment for psychopaths is likely to make them worse by Robert Hare, PhD.
Channel 4 Equinox Science of crime examines psychopaths.
Dealing with manipulative people: an excerpt from the book In Sheep's Clothing By George K Simon.
Tribal Elders has links to sites on narcissism and psychopathy.
Case histories of people who are dealing with or have dealt with a serial bully.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Articles
Are you married to a psychopath? Robert Matthews writes in The Sunday Telegraph, 10 May 1997
Go-getting managers revealed as psychopaths, Robert Matthews writes in The Sunday Telegraph, 10 May 1997
How to spot the socialised psycho, Robert Matthews tells you how to recognise a psychopath, Sunday Telegraph, 10 May 1997
Yes, I live with a psychopath, Robert Matthews writes more about psychopaths following a flood of letters in response to his previous article. Sunday Telegraph, 12 July 1997.
Psycho bosses on the loose: are you in their line of fire? Hilary Freeman writes about psychopathic bosses in the Rise section for graduate of The Guardian, 10 March 2001.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Books
Without Conscience, the disturbing world of psychopaths among us, Robert D Hare, The Guilford Press, 1999, ISBN 1-57230-451-0.
The mask of sanity, Hervey Cleckley, C V Mosby Publishing, Fifth Edition, 1976. The standard work on psychopathy which describes at length the damage a psychopath causes to the family unit and to society.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More insight into the serial bully...
Bully in sight
How to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying
Overcoming the silence and denial by which abuse thrives
by
Tim Field
Foreword by Diana Lamplugh OBE
ISBN 0 9529121 04
Published by Success Unlimited 1996, reprinted 1998, 1999 and 2001
Paperback, 16 chapters, 384 pages, resources, index
Click book cover (left) for more information
"Like a torch in the darkness" (survivor of bullying)
"Bully in sight is a Godsend. I think you're the only person in the world who really understands what happens when you're bullied at work. As a result of your book personnel are starting to take me seriously for the first time, management are backtracking (they were threatening to dismiss me) and the bully (a power freak who's destroyed several predecessors) is looking stressed for the first time in her life. I can't thank you enough." (UK employee)
Bully in sight identifies bullying as the common denominator of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, conflict and violence, and describes the main perpetrator, the serial bully. Written with the experience and insight only a fellow experiencer can impart, Bully in sight is above all a practical book which...
Confirms and validates the experience of bullying when those around you are trying to deny it
Enables you to regain your sanity, stability and objectivity
Invigorates you with insight and information
Makes sense of the nightmare of trying to deal with an aggressive dysfunctional manager or co-worker
Offers practical advice throughout, is rich in content and free of psychobabble
Teaches you that you are not alone in your experience of being bullied
Identifies and describes the injury to health caused by bullying and harassment
Enables you to overcome the feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear and guilt that bullies use to control you
Re-empowers you so you are able to regain control of yourself, your situation, and your life
Provides the means for you to break the bully's hold over you
Explains to partner, family and others the hell you are experiencing
Assists you with the legal process including case law for constructive dismissal
Helps you restart your existing career or start on the path to a new career
Is packed with insight, ideas and direction, plus sources of help and suggested reading
Most people are at risk of being targeted by the serial bully. Bully in sight gives you the insight and knowledge to be able to spot the serial bully immediately and thus be able to defend yourself against bullies both now and in the future.
What readers say about Bully in sight
Order a signed copy from Success Unlimited:
Online with secure credit card ordering
By fax or letter with printed order form
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery from PTSD with various causes including abuse...
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The invisible injury, 2001 edition
by
David Kinchin
ISBN 0-9529121-3-9
Published by Success Unlimited 2001
Paperback, 16 chapters, 208 pages, resources, index
Cost including postage and packing:
UK £15.00, rest of Europe £16.95, outside Europe £17.50
Click book cover (left) for more information
"This is the book I so badly wanted when I was traumatised."
David Kinchin, Author
PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. The symptoms include sleep problems, nightmares and waking early, constant fatigue, impaired memory, inability to concentrate, hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), jumpiness and exaggerated startle response, fragility and hypersensitivity, irritability, violent outbursts, joint and muscle pains, panic attacks, low self-esteem and low self-confidence, exaggerated feelings of guilt, feelings of nervousness and anxiety.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Edited by peaccenicked at 10:02 pm on Mar. 14, 2002)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2020 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.