Devils Advocate - commies against commies

[pogo]

Heres a fun idea. All the communists should try to argue against communism. See how well you can argue against something you belive in. (NOTE: Everything that is said here, though it may seem like Anti-Communist Pro Imperialist Propaganda, is just for fun. Im not meaning anything I say.)

Why Communism is the Devil
By Pogo

I see communism as trhe largest threat to our socirty as a whole, becuase it advocates the destruction of the dearest thing to our society, The Corperation.

Despite what you may have been led to belive by some socialist teenager who wont be able to suceed in capitalist society, if not for the corperation, America would not be what it is today. Our corperations are the heart of our economy, and at the tremendous sizes they have reached, they supply billions of jobs worldwide. A communist would tell you that there are not enough of these jobs. I only say to them that the McDonalds across my street has allways had a help wanted sign. Did you know that McDonalds has more employees than the US Military has soldiers? That seems to me to be a great job opportunity, with possibility of advancement. If you work for Mcdonalds, in the longterm, you could gain neccessary career knowlege such as cooking, cleaning, sanitization, and friendliness. And if you stay long enough, you may even get such great career opportunities as "Drive Through Window Person" or even the coveted "Manager" or "Assistand Manager" ranks. And these people recieve Minimum Wage! (Another milestone of the capitalist society that allows everyone to at least make a certain amount, which if you ask me allmost sounds socialist)

Now, what about all the jobs lost becuase a company deicdes to build its factory in a country where they only have to pay workers 1 cent per hour (this brings up an important issue of the cent symbol not being on the keyboard, but I guess that'll have to be another essay). Well I say to you, WAAAA! go get a job at McDonalds! And I hear Dominoes needs a Driver. Oh, nevermind, you had to sell your car to feed your family and pay rent after the factory shut down. Bet ya wish you woulda kept the car....

But back to the important issue of sweat shops, I tell you this, having these things made so cheaply allows more executives to get more money, which means they'll finally get a new tire (score one for the tire guy!) or hire a secretary (and later she can sue him for sexual harrassment and get plenty of money, isn't capitalism grand?) and even get a new home built (construction crew gets money) or buy one (big bucks for the realitor.) So even though this sweatshop ruined the lives of American workers, think of all the people it helped. The Tire guy, his now rich former secretary who sued him, A realitor, and all those workers in whatever country the sweat shop is in who now get to mke what seems like shit wages, but its probably the most money they'd be seeing anyways.

But the greatest product of the Corperation is The Consumer. The Consumer is a middle to upper class person who has to surround themselves with bullshit they dont need. Thats right, they just want it! Only in capitalism can you get oh so much bullshit. Did you ever realize how many types of peanut butter there is? Astounding! A communist country would probably only have creamy and crunchy if your lucky. So what if you want barely crunchy with a twist of almond butter? That is what I ask you commmie! Where is my twist of fuking almond butter??? In conclusion, Communism is evil, becuase no matter what, there will never be a twist of almound butter in communism.

The End

[Supermodel]

Well, I'm not a communist, but this sounds like a good discussion.

Here's what's wrong with communism: the little people out there (that's you) have no idea how to live their lives so the big, rich people, who obviously know how to do things right should be in charge.

The wealth will trickle down to the little people because the rich people have to pay them something so they negociate the lowest possible wage for the hours. Remember the golden rule: she who dies with the most toys, wins.

So how do you get to be a rich person? Don't make me laugh!!! If you have to ask, you've been left off the team, buddy!

Oh, and communists have to wear red, and I don't look good in red. Maybe a burgundy shade. But really, red's not in this season.

Now, faux military, that's in style. I do look good in Verde Olivo. But the beret, too Monica Lewinski. No beret.

Oh yeah and I heard that communists have to stand in long lines for food and stuff and there's a 10 year waiting list for new cars. Well really!!! Can't they just use taxis???? The maids can do the shopping. That solves the long lines problem.

Really, why work when you can hire a little person to do it for you?

[Moskitto]

I did this once when I wrote a pro-royalist newspaper as a history project. I had lots of fun writing highly wierd looking letters.

----

Dear Ye Times,

I am shocked by the French. here we respect our leaders we do not take over prisons or march to the palace to kill our Queen. We are honourable people. The lords were born to rule the country and no one has the right to take that away from them. If it came to a war with France I would join the army instantly. I believe we should do everything to protect our social betters.
From
James

----

Dear Ye Times,

I Believe everyone has the right to an opinion. But not when they stop the lords controlling the country. The lords were destined to rule from the beginning. No one should stop them. People like Republicans have no place in society anywhere. They interfere with the very wheels that make society run. They should be imprisoned
From
Daniel

----

Dear Ye Times,

I ask the Reeve why the Radicals aren't made illegal. It is proven that they are the source of the whole problem of Republicans. All of them should be hung, Drawn and quartered. There campaigning provokes unrest amongst the dishonourable peasants. The party should be banned to stop the spread of Republicanism.
From
Glen

----

Dear Ye Times,

Someone in our town who gets beaten up regularly calls himself a "Communist". Republicanism must be combated before it reaches his stage. He believes that the economy, power, land and everything else should be divided amongst everyone in the country. I fear that unless Republicanism is combated this society may develop in Europe
From
Ben

----

Then I was writing some funny news reports like this .

----

Republicanism Started in Greece before the birth of Christ. Also a similar system developed in Rome. Since those bad times in human history it has hardly effected the running of the world until the 13th Century when a revolt of peasants occurred against king Richard II. Earlier this century a revolt against the British governing the American colonies was successful creating the first modern Republic. However this republic will proberbly not last longer than a few decades.
Several years ago a revolt took place which overthrew the French king Louis XVI and replaced him with a parliament elected on the strange principle of 1 man 1 vote.
Republicanism is just a fad that will proberbly die out before the end of the next century. But at the moment it is a threat to European domination of the world and European kings which must be eliminated before it's to late.
Also an ultra extremist republican group called the Communists formed with the promise of total equality for all. This group is more dangerous than the Republicans but is only likely to develop in the eastern areas due to economic cirmumstances.
Republicanism should not be listened to as it lowers the wealth of the rich down to the levels of the poor which no one wants.

----

The French King Louis XVI was recently captured by republicans in France as he set towards Belgium. Roomers are that the French King intended to meet up with his brother in law the King of Austria to invade France and reinstate Louis XVI with absolute power.
The King was seen after he opened the blinds on his carriage and looked into the eyes of a postman. The postman had recognised the face from a coin and contacted the next village who unfortunately managed to stop him.
The principle of a government based on equality is a flawed one and the French have not learned the lesson yet. A system of government with no King or Queen only exists in minor countries such as the new United States of America a former British colony. In a major world power such as France it would be suicide.
Peasants and Beggars
controlling the country. In The United States of America poverty is rampant and all because of The Republic. If they were wiser they would have a King appointed as head of state instead of an elected President. At there current rate of social development they will never attract any industries to their country and will remain one of the poorest countries in the world.European Leaders are alarmed by the latest uprisings of peasants around Europe. Such a revolt has not been seen since the 13th Century. Republicanism defies god it gives power to the poor folk who have no money because god made them that way and takes away power from those who god made rich and deserve to rule because of it. No one should tamper with the fundamentals of life.

(Edited by Moskitto at 11:47 pm on Feb. 11, 2002)

[Supermodel]

Good letter Moskitto!!! LMAO!!!

[rosie]

This is really cute! I keep laughing OUT LOUD (something i rarely do when sitting in front of the computer). it's a good way for conservatives to understand where we are coming from (or it at least lets them see how stupid we view them to be). Haha! I love it. Good idea!!!
Peace, love, music...
-Rosie
ps. here's my go at it...."the biggest problem with communism is that they are all godless followers of the cult of science. Anyone with half a heart can fell the lord's presence in all of us. it is only obvious that any one who would proudly call themselves communist is possessed by Satan and should be sent back to hell. Only a devil worshiper would cocieve of the idea to take away the personal wealth one has accumulated through hard work and folowing the American dream. Who would say that is wrong? I NEED to have my stuff. YOU need to have your stuff. Anyone wanting to rob us of our things MUST be a Satin worshiping communist. I rest my case"....i just thought of what good ol Rush would say to this...for who knows...he might even take this post seriously! Haha!

[Led Zeppelin]

rosie, please do not post in threads made over 7 years ago.

Thread closed.