Some Shit I wrote!

[Mariam]

Started with denial
Reached the ultimate faith
But now I the absurd follow me.

Red snails, As within circles.
Black cats. Masks hiding faces.
Green Bottles. Burning hearts.
White Walls. Anxious minds.
Gray spaces. Hungry souls.
Blue thoughts floating, while yellow faces-----
Yellow faces, but still with a blazing flare
Banners marching from the left.

A Blood-Red book
Blood-Red coffee
And Blood-Red rain
Nothing but
Red
Blood
Red
Blood
And a broken smile.

What are smiles, dreams, butterflies, and a voice tastes like chocolate?

Let me go!
Even a knife would do
…………………….
……………………..
……………………..
…………………….

For I the rational, follow me.
"Do I contradict myself?"
Well I do!
For I the insane
Do not follow me.

SHIT!

[Noah]

A Blood-Red book
Blood-Red coffee
And Blood-Red rain
Nothing but
Red
Blood
Red
Blood
And a broken smile.

What are smiles, dreams, butterflies, and a voice tastes like chocolate?

That my favourite part. I think it's quite good, don't worry eventually every poet makes a beautiful creation.

[Pawn Power]

..and it made me sick, that is the poem.
If you agree on its stupidity and the extremely non poetic style i'd be glad.

Why did you post it? Did you think we want to read your crap too? Why didn't you wait until you wrote something decent?

Nevertheless the whole thing is not terrible. I don't know what you are fishing for, comments or praise I guess. Its not terrible.

Writting good poetry is very difficult. Well perhaps it depends on what one considers "good" poetry, so maybe not.

[Mariam]

Why did you post it? Did you think we want to read your crap too? Why didn't you wait until you wrote something decent?

Coz im feeling terrible thats all!!!!
And after blocking almost every other site this is the only place i can post in.


comments or praise I guess.

O brother! you could have just passed by..without a single comment..
It wouldn't have made much diffrence if no one replyed..

[Noah]

Why did you post it? Did you think we want to read your crap too? Why didn't you wait until you wrote something decent?

Your a mean sadist person that pulls the wings of insects :lol:

[Pawn Power]

O brother! you could have just passed by..without a single comment..
It wouldn't have made much diffrence if no one replyed..

Please, I gave you what you wanted.

You could have posted the writting without the opening self-mortification.

[Mariam]

Ok then i'll give you what you want! :mellow:

[Comrade J]

This reminds me of when people post pics of themselves with "oh I look so ugly on this" or whatever... when clearly they don't believe that, or they wouldn't have fucking posted it.

[Pawn Power]

Originally posted by [email protected] 06, 2006 05:11 pm
Ok then i'll give you what you want! :mellow:
And what is that?

[Noah]

:lol: Errw this chat is getting pervy

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

What is it with god awful trend among amateur poets these days to simply forego any efforts at rhythm?

[chimx]

learn how to spell rhyme. the poem has rhythm.

[Dr. Rosenpenis]

excuse me?
I meant what I wrote. It has no rhythm.