The Sloth
29th July 2006, 05:47
ahh.. so, after being beat back to his bunker, the general is peeking out again. no matter.. we shall see how long his eyes can take another strain of textual humiliation.
and yet, whatever shall we do with this feisty kitten? he has a lot of things going for him, no doubt. he is, after all, an aspiring novelist, a serious "risk" gamer (wooden board and all), a failed intellectual, and a copyrighted poet (well.. depending on whether you'd consider "i'm proud to be an american" to be a line of poetry, or a line of excrement).. and, naturally, like any hot-blooded patriot, an aspiring metaphysician as well.
he fancies himself an expert on zimbabwan (and, by extention, african) economics, yet is silent on the very basic questions of mugabe. he fancies himself a divine repository of wisdom, yet despite his fearless knowledge, does not acknowledge challenging and/or unbearable retorts to his rather dry wit. hmph!
and yet again, whatever shall we do with this feisty kitten? i've thrown him balls of yarn, as i don't think he'd be able to handle real balls.. not in the way serious debaters handle real balls, at least. i would, in this case, much rather be playful than purely malicious. after all, it's rather painful.. maybe even sinful.. to treat a retarded amnesiac with contempt. please, everyone be gentle.. you don't yell at a child, nor do you beat him down.. you simply reprimand him, smile, and nod your head at his stupidity. it may not always be fun, but at least it's something.
and, despite all of this, that is not to say that the childish amnesiac's entirely uninteresting.. not by any means. in fact, patton is mildly interesting, if only in that unique, eyebrow-raising kind of way. the man, at bottom, is as interesting as a bear-trap.. and, just like with a bear-trap, all it takes is a second or two to figure him out. his movements are predictable, but, sometimes, not amusing enough.. so, for a little entertainment, one might throw a twig at him, stick a foot right next to that blood-thirsty mouth, and watch the mechnical thing snap shut, chewing on exactly what he is made of -- thin air.. just as empty, and just as insubstantial.
or, maybe not thin air, but water.. just as tempting, just as shallow, just as trecherous, and just as dirty (you better recognize what the allusion is to, mon cher, if you hope to be a novelist).
so, when your mental faculties fail, and your brain is just a cup of liquid, what can one do? why, rely on brute force and ignorance, of course. after all, brute force and ignorance has shaped much of the world to this day.. and who can honestly demand that general patton question the world, or even the world's methodology? sadly, some things are just not in patton's realm.. but, no matter, he still has other things going for him. after all, he still, by his own admission, managed to fuck a communist.. with a condom! and does anyone know what sexually transmitted disease causes patton's kind of brain decay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syphilis)? well, i'll tell you one thing.. at least that communist ain't getting it from him. yay.
anyway.
for all of his ideas on "the ongoing invasion" and "foreign nationals," i happen to be a foreign national myself. not only that, my parents, nor my grandparents, don't speak much, if any, english. that doesn't prevent me, of course, from understanding the language, and the culture, better than this dreadful native (or, maybe non-native? for all its worth, some immigrants do hate a lot of other immigrants, unsurprisingly). maybe that's a lesson for him.. don't stick your two cents on top of a fifty dollar bill.. or, what's more appropriate to this tragic situation, don't stick your two cents on top of a hundred thousand pesos.. or, even more appropriately, don't stick your two cents on a mountain-top of rubles.
just a few mild suggestions.
and, if the impossible does occur, and you, general patton, do in fact, reply, i'm giving you the same advice i gave you before: read posts incomprehensible to you. it might save you some humiliation, and a few insults, later on (not that any of it's in short supply).
indeed.. well, i guess we can carry on rather soon.
in the meantime, just enjoy.
and yet, whatever shall we do with this feisty kitten? he has a lot of things going for him, no doubt. he is, after all, an aspiring novelist, a serious "risk" gamer (wooden board and all), a failed intellectual, and a copyrighted poet (well.. depending on whether you'd consider "i'm proud to be an american" to be a line of poetry, or a line of excrement).. and, naturally, like any hot-blooded patriot, an aspiring metaphysician as well.
he fancies himself an expert on zimbabwan (and, by extention, african) economics, yet is silent on the very basic questions of mugabe. he fancies himself a divine repository of wisdom, yet despite his fearless knowledge, does not acknowledge challenging and/or unbearable retorts to his rather dry wit. hmph!
and yet again, whatever shall we do with this feisty kitten? i've thrown him balls of yarn, as i don't think he'd be able to handle real balls.. not in the way serious debaters handle real balls, at least. i would, in this case, much rather be playful than purely malicious. after all, it's rather painful.. maybe even sinful.. to treat a retarded amnesiac with contempt. please, everyone be gentle.. you don't yell at a child, nor do you beat him down.. you simply reprimand him, smile, and nod your head at his stupidity. it may not always be fun, but at least it's something.
and, despite all of this, that is not to say that the childish amnesiac's entirely uninteresting.. not by any means. in fact, patton is mildly interesting, if only in that unique, eyebrow-raising kind of way. the man, at bottom, is as interesting as a bear-trap.. and, just like with a bear-trap, all it takes is a second or two to figure him out. his movements are predictable, but, sometimes, not amusing enough.. so, for a little entertainment, one might throw a twig at him, stick a foot right next to that blood-thirsty mouth, and watch the mechnical thing snap shut, chewing on exactly what he is made of -- thin air.. just as empty, and just as insubstantial.
or, maybe not thin air, but water.. just as tempting, just as shallow, just as trecherous, and just as dirty (you better recognize what the allusion is to, mon cher, if you hope to be a novelist).
so, when your mental faculties fail, and your brain is just a cup of liquid, what can one do? why, rely on brute force and ignorance, of course. after all, brute force and ignorance has shaped much of the world to this day.. and who can honestly demand that general patton question the world, or even the world's methodology? sadly, some things are just not in patton's realm.. but, no matter, he still has other things going for him. after all, he still, by his own admission, managed to fuck a communist.. with a condom! and does anyone know what sexually transmitted disease causes patton's kind of brain decay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syphilis)? well, i'll tell you one thing.. at least that communist ain't getting it from him. yay.
anyway.
for all of his ideas on "the ongoing invasion" and "foreign nationals," i happen to be a foreign national myself. not only that, my parents, nor my grandparents, don't speak much, if any, english. that doesn't prevent me, of course, from understanding the language, and the culture, better than this dreadful native (or, maybe non-native? for all its worth, some immigrants do hate a lot of other immigrants, unsurprisingly). maybe that's a lesson for him.. don't stick your two cents on top of a fifty dollar bill.. or, what's more appropriate to this tragic situation, don't stick your two cents on top of a hundred thousand pesos.. or, even more appropriately, don't stick your two cents on a mountain-top of rubles.
just a few mild suggestions.
and, if the impossible does occur, and you, general patton, do in fact, reply, i'm giving you the same advice i gave you before: read posts incomprehensible to you. it might save you some humiliation, and a few insults, later on (not that any of it's in short supply).
indeed.. well, i guess we can carry on rather soon.
in the meantime, just enjoy.