Story I wrote on another thread

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

As part of my world-building project on Omniverse Zero, I wrote a story involving my universe:

Occupied Territories (http://www.omniversezero.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4083)

You might have to read some articles on the Final, Final Frontiers Universe in order to get some background information, but it might not be necessary.

Your thoughts are welcome.

[ÑóẊîöʼn]

Nobody has any thoughts on it? :(

[dislatino]

This is a very short story, i for one would like to read a much more extended version, your use of descriptive language is somewhat impressive, in saying this there are areas where this can be improved, dialogue flows well in my eyes, i was somewhat dissapointed with the lack of information on the consequences since i would have loved to read larger descriptions, overall it was short but it worked well, do carry on with story.