clandestino
13th February 2006, 18:23
Gold Fish, an open letter to president George W Bush.
Mr. President,
January 14th, 2002, we all remember that infamous day in your life. It was a cold and dark morning for our nation and it will live in infamy in your history. The day you chocked on that pretzel, the world hibernated as you, the leader of the free world fainted. I can finally say I know what you been through, for I too, chocked on a gold fish magnanimous. You know, not the real fish, but the snack.
I must be honest and confess your excellence; I have mocked you in the past, but no more. After today, I shall too listen to my mother, and chew my food. If it was not for my brother so kindly smacking me in my back, propelling the gold fish out of my throat and into the living room carpet, in such a serine motion it reminded me of the salmon in Canada; jumping up stream in order to escape the jump into nothingness. I too fell into nothingness that day. This is were we have a connection, that goes beyond the divine.
Now I must get to the point, and give you the real premise for writing this letter. We, Mr. President, (you and I) are victims of a snack conspiracy. Pretzel companies and the company that makes gold fish are making snacks so irresistible, and undeniably savory, that us the good people of America are putting more in our mouth than we can chew.
I urge you to stop this nonsense (when you have some free time, because of the war on Iraq) and make a pre imminent (not emptive) attack on the head- quarters of these companies, who have created a swift and creative way to exterminate us, and who knows, take over the world. I would also suggest economic sanctions and a perpetual prison sentence in Guantanamo Bay for these coward CEO’s.
I know the American people are brainwashed, and for a fact, might think this will not be a just war. But we have a divine connection, and know what is best. Thus, we probably will have to make up a small lie for the greater good, in order to convince the mass public we must stop this blunt terrorism in the fast food industry. On the other hand, I hope you will be strong enough to stand up for the unpatriotic NFL watching Americans who won’t stop eating their snacks, and as a consequence finance the terrorist snack companies.
Un-patriotism is the senile disease of most snack eating Americans, who are the Siamese twins of Islamic Fundamentalist that live in Iraq, and who tried to exterminate us during 9/11 (despite my mom saying that 9/11 was not connected to Iraq) I still believe in you sir. And with G-D on our side truth is no only imminent, but extremely divine. May G-d continue to Bless you, and the United States
Yours truly,
Marcelo
Mr. President,
January 14th, 2002, we all remember that infamous day in your life. It was a cold and dark morning for our nation and it will live in infamy in your history. The day you chocked on that pretzel, the world hibernated as you, the leader of the free world fainted. I can finally say I know what you been through, for I too, chocked on a gold fish magnanimous. You know, not the real fish, but the snack.
I must be honest and confess your excellence; I have mocked you in the past, but no more. After today, I shall too listen to my mother, and chew my food. If it was not for my brother so kindly smacking me in my back, propelling the gold fish out of my throat and into the living room carpet, in such a serine motion it reminded me of the salmon in Canada; jumping up stream in order to escape the jump into nothingness. I too fell into nothingness that day. This is were we have a connection, that goes beyond the divine.
Now I must get to the point, and give you the real premise for writing this letter. We, Mr. President, (you and I) are victims of a snack conspiracy. Pretzel companies and the company that makes gold fish are making snacks so irresistible, and undeniably savory, that us the good people of America are putting more in our mouth than we can chew.
I urge you to stop this nonsense (when you have some free time, because of the war on Iraq) and make a pre imminent (not emptive) attack on the head- quarters of these companies, who have created a swift and creative way to exterminate us, and who knows, take over the world. I would also suggest economic sanctions and a perpetual prison sentence in Guantanamo Bay for these coward CEO’s.
I know the American people are brainwashed, and for a fact, might think this will not be a just war. But we have a divine connection, and know what is best. Thus, we probably will have to make up a small lie for the greater good, in order to convince the mass public we must stop this blunt terrorism in the fast food industry. On the other hand, I hope you will be strong enough to stand up for the unpatriotic NFL watching Americans who won’t stop eating their snacks, and as a consequence finance the terrorist snack companies.
Un-patriotism is the senile disease of most snack eating Americans, who are the Siamese twins of Islamic Fundamentalist that live in Iraq, and who tried to exterminate us during 9/11 (despite my mom saying that 9/11 was not connected to Iraq) I still believe in you sir. And with G-D on our side truth is no only imminent, but extremely divine. May G-d continue to Bless you, and the United States
Yours truly,
Marcelo