Larissa
8th March 2003, 18:03
From another list, enjoy it?
(What Axis could we form?)
Satire on Capital's War:
Comments from John Cleese...
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis
of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they
had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said
would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North
Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of
the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed
the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if
they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was
full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not
my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is
wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.
Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis
of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda
and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of
Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador,
and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries
That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to
Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia
formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite
Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America,
while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the
Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear
Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush
granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members
of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any
Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
(What Axis could we form?)
Satire on Capital's War:
Comments from John Cleese...
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis
of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they
had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said
would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North
Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of
the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed
the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if
they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was
full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not
my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is
wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.
Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis
of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda
and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of
Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador,
and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries
That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to
Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia
formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite
Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America,
while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the
Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear
Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush
granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members
of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any
Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.