If You Invented Your Own Religion

[Clarksist]

What would you religion be called, what would you worship, what would be your guidelines, etc.?

[KC]

Nothing!

[Un-Amäraкin Bastard]

It would be either the worship of science and logic, or the use of it to prove or disprove a higher being...guidelines, must be fully oriented with what is known and proven, and must use logic when coming to a conclusion...

Or a cult based on the Moonies :P...

[C_Rasmussen]

Really my religion would be a slightly more liberal version of Catholicism. It would still talk about Jesus and God and that but it wouldn't be AS STRICT and fucked up as it is in the current.

[Black Dagger]

Erm, so it would be Protestantism? o0

Oh, and i agree with Lazar on this issue :)

[Publius]

Deism minus the God.

So, atheism.

[C_Rasmussen]

Originally posted by Black [email protected] 4 2005, 10:52 AM
Erm, so it would be Protestantism? o0

Oh, and i agree with Lazar on this issue :)
I thought Protestantism was far worse then Catholicism. I mean look at the Southern Baptists here in the US. By that I mean look at the idiotic likes of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson then see how Catholicism is SLIGHTLY better yet not as good as it should be.

[which doctor]

Ron Hubbard invented Scientology to make money.

[Un-Amäraкin Bastard]

Originally posted by C_Rasmussen+Nov 4 2005, 08:45 PM--> (C_Rasmussen @ Nov 4 2005, 08:45 PM)
Black [email protected] 4 2005, 10:52 AM
Erm, so it would be Protestantism? o0

Oh, and i agree with Lazar on this issue :)
I thought Protestantism was far worse then Catholicism. I mean look at the Southern Baptists here in the US. By that I mean look at the idiotic likes of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson then see how Catholicism is SLIGHTLY better yet not as good as it should be. [/b]
Protestantism has far less rules than Catholicism, but is far more strict..."YOU LOOKED AT A WOMAN IN ADMIRATION??!! YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL BUDDY BOY!!!!"

Catholics for some reason believe in praying to Mary and the saints and having confessionals and many other odd rules and beliefs Protestants don't follow...

[which doctor]

If I could start my own religion we would worship the world and everything in the world. I would make everyone treat everyone else as equals. There would be no priests or ministers, spirtuality would be based more on a personal level. Everyone must be nice to everyone else. We would do work for the good of the world and not just for the good of ourselves. So pretty much it would be a communist religion.

And anyways If catholics could do without the power struggle and pro-life thing then they would be decent.

[Jimmie Higgins]

I'm an athiest, so this is all hypothetical. But I always thought that modern religions were inadequate to relate to modern urban life. I mean most of the western religions revolve around fishermen or sheep-herders and so on.

I think that the best fake new religion would be a pantheistic one where there were many Gods for different sorts of daily problems.

There'd have to be a God of traffic (because I commute and there never seems to be a rhyme or reason to why there are traffic jams sometimes - like traffic will stop for 15 minutes, then once it's moving you'll expect to see a huge accident or something only to find no obvious reason for the diruption or a really minimal one like a bag of chips in the middle of the freeway).

A god of electronic equipment: I mean how many peopl ehave supersitions around electronic devices. Don't tell me you've never hit your TV to make it work right or blown into the cartrage of a Nintendo! We might as wll be offering sacrifices to a cermaic idol to make our busted computer work again or have our car start!

Ok, that's all I can think of right now.

[Xvall]

Psychonauticism. All devotees are required to routinely take various hallucinogenic substances and engage in group mantras. Drugs will replace the bible and everyone will adhere to a really cool looking black and red dress code. Half-Life tournaments (on drugs) will determine papacy.

[Guerrilla22]

Why would one want to invent a religon? The only reason I could think of is that you're an egostistical, power starved hack, who loves to manipulate others.

[Un-Amäraкin Bastard]

Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 05:49 AM
I'm an athiest, so this is all hypothetical. But I always thought that modern religions were inadequate to relate to modern urban life. I mean most of the western religions revolve around fishermen or sheep-herders and so on.

I think that the best fake new religion would be a pantheistic one where there were many Gods for different sorts of daily problems.

There'd have to be a God of traffic (because I commute and there never seems to be a rhyme or reason to why there are traffic jams sometimes - like traffic will stop for 15 minutes, then once it's moving you'll expect to see a huge accident or something only to find no obvious reason for the diruption or a really minimal one like a bag of chips in the middle of the freeway).

A god of electronic equipment: I mean how many peopl ehave supersitions around electronic devices. Don't tell me you've never hit your TV to make it work right or blown into the cartrage of a Nintendo! We might as wll be offering sacrifices to a cermaic idol to make our busted computer work again or have our car start!

Ok, that's all I can think of right now.
Greatest idea there...the worship of humanly problems...

I was excommunicated, so I can do whatever religion-wise...I would start a cult where I am Christ and the only way to Heaven is to have sex with me, have sex with someone who had sex with me, or devote their lives giving me all of the fruits of their labor, resources, and offspring, be they mine or not (they are priveledged to see their children 1 hour a day, only after I appoint them a wife, and after they are together in their Commune for 4 years, they will be wed by me at a mass marriage.)

They will work the streets selling worthless crap for my good, and they must sell $200 worth of worthless crap a week. They live in Communes, wearing the same clothes, given the same shitty food, and live in the same environment, sleeping and waking at the same time. It would be great.

If I could get 5,000 followers, I would make $10,000 a week; wouldn't it be great? The Moonies have 1,000,000 followers, each peddling $200 of shit a week. Mr. Moon gets $2,000,000 a week...

I wouldn't really do that unless someone drugged me and I had a dream where I was Christ...it would be cool to run something like that though, with a few thousand jackasses doing whatever you order them to to get to "Heaven"...like have sex with me :D...

[Ownthink]

Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 01:15 AM
Psychonauticism. All devotees are required to routinely take various hallucinogenic substances and engage in group mantras. Drugs will replace the bible and everyone will adhere to a really cool looking black and red dress code. Half-Life tournaments (on drugs) will determine papacy.
I laughed so hard I almost spilled my bong water.

[idealisticcommie]

See my post un Buddhism.

[FleasTheLemur]

I'd develop a religion based entirely on the worship of Pan-Asian food. Every Thursday evening we'd gather at a random Asian resturant and discuss the trials and tribulations of the egg roll. The great devil would be McD's. Let me give you an except from the Holy Buffet

Dim Sum 4:20 "And then the great General said unto the masses, 'Eat this spicy Chicken, for it is my flesh and drink this green colored tea, for it is my blood.' and the masses did as they was told, because they was blind sheeple.. and the capitalist rejoiced!"

[Xvall]

I laughed so hard I almost spilled my bong water.

LOLOL.


who loves to manipulate others.

You know it. ;)

How about this. "The church of "OH SNAP!"". Everytime anything good, bad, or neutral happens in your lifetime, you must say, "OH SNAP!". We'll meet on Sundays and just go "OH SNAP" all day long.

[Lacrimi de Chiciură]

In my religion, we would worship pine cones. Our religious rituals would be causing anal seepage and eating string cheese. On every sabbath day you must urinate on a pine tree for good luck, if you don't, our god who we call "boo bah" will smite you; however if there are no pine trees within a 100 mile radius of you, you may urinate on you hands and rub it into your legs as a lotion as an alternative. Our religious book is the Chicken Soup for the Pine Cone Worshiper's Inner Pine Cone and Masturbation Advice.

[Loknar]

In my religion, women would only be suitable for sex with another man if, they are born of my family, or if they have had sex with me.

[guerrillero]

Why would anyone want to start a religoin? What good has religion done to our society? How many wars, deaths and blood shed have resulted because of religion? It`s one thing to believe in God and another to be part of a manipulating society that bases their beliefs on a incomplete and opinianeted book... aka a Bible. What good would starting another religion do besides making money off the poor people`s faith who don`t even have money to start out with?

[John Dory]

"Let freedom become your faith! Let Revolution become your religion!" -Mumia Abu-Jamal, from ONA Move! Long live John Africa's Revolution! (http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/45a/031.html), Statement read at Unity Nation's African Holocaust Conference, 15 October, 1995

[Clarksist]

Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 12:30 AM
Why would one want to invent a religon? The only reason I could think of is that you're an egostistical, power starved hack, who loves to manipulate others.
Bob Avakian didn't make a religion, did he? :lol:

[RebelOutcast]

Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 06:20 AM
Psychonauticism. All devotees are required to routinely take various hallucinogenic substances and engage in group mantras. Drugs will replace the bible and everyone will adhere to a really cool looking black and red dress code. Half-Life tournaments (on drugs) will determine papacy.
Dammit, I'm a believer already.

[shanks]

my god, some of you guys are so serious about this (religion is evil,blah blah blah)

its just kinda sad......hilarous....but sad.....


and now onto my idea, i say a religion devoted to a pig....named doug....who is believed to have the power to fly, and if were good he'll fly us off to paradise which is located in....oh lets say...greenland....where the land flows with hot dogs which are in fact the food of the gods, since it isnt made of the meat of doug or any of his barnyard friends.

and the only way to appease doug and convince him to take us to paradise is to build a 50 cubit tall statue of jerry seinfield made of cheese, stinking bishop to be precise (and yes its a real cheese)

im too lazy too come up with more but you get the idea

[ChemicalRock]

Originally posted by Fist of [email protected] 4 2005, 10:23 PM
Ron Hubbard invented Scientology to make money.
I'm sure he wasn't the only one... In fact, I'm pretty sure that 99.9999% of all religion was created as a means of accumulating wealth and power no matter when it was created. Ofcourse you can't forget about those 00.0001% of religions that were genuinly created out of human ignorence and not human greed.

[Red Leader]

Really my religion would be a slightly more liberal version of Catholicism. It would still talk about Jesus and God and that but it wouldn't be AS STRICT and fucked up as it is in the current.

in other words anglicansism

as for me, my religion would be one similar to budhism in that you dont worship a specific diety, however minus the reincarnation, karma nonsense. people would live doing right things for the sake of doing good, not for thier own personal benifits of a superior afterlife.

[Arca]

LOLism - a denomination of pastafarianism. You believe in the FSM and all it's tenets but you need to say 'lol' intead of actually laughing.

[TheComrade]

Yeah! The Greek Gods were amazing - like a really good soap. SO what are the Gods going to do today?!? Rape! Murder! Dressing up as ducks then inseminating a naked lady to produce an amazingly strong man!

Anyway - my religion would be quite free and really about respect of others and especially of our environment. 'Strength and Honour' as the Romans said - that works well. Stay healthy - in the mind and body - but act with respect, dignity and honour towards others.!!