The Desensitization Process

[DeathToAmerica]

I've been an activist for 2 years now. I've been subjected to many terrible things on behalf of the US government, and many others. I've protested, I've wept, I've felt pain.... but I'm beginning to feel nothing. it's as if I'm becomming a fucking machine. How do you aid in this? Is there anything one can do?

[Mazdak]

It is a good way to be. Machine like that is. That is the way one should be.

[nz revolution]

Find a hobby apart from starting riots.

Take up playing an instrument or something. Tune out and maybe read different stuff. Maybe go down to the local community centre and gardens if you have any and help out and meet new people. some suggestions, might be of use or no use.

You could get creative, you could make commie related stuff like flags and banners. Or do arty stuff that is not left wing.

FOR MAZDAK: Being a machine good? Do you wear grey clothes and rarely smile? I take it "Problems with Leninism" is your favourite book.

peace y'all

[DeathToAmerica]

Apart from protesting, I am an actor. I have been an actor and involved with plays for like 5 years. My favourite author is Albert Camus. My favourite playright is Jean-Paul Satre... yes existentialism...

I have never had the biggest social life. Although I do have friends. It's just I don't feel them important anymore, at all really. I feel nothing...

And for instrument... I played guitar, although I have gotten bored of it...

School marks are also high 80's...

I guess that's all....

but is this good or bad? And I just need ideas ... that's why I started this topic...

[nz revolution]

Well it can be good, you wont feel much pain emotionally but then its like being brain dead.

Maybe meet new people, go out find a girl who really gets ya going.

Maybe get into a band, or change instrument...

the stalinists will see you are going in the right direction so you will serve and not question.

I disagree though.

high eightys you bastard lol. I tend to scrape through.

I wish there were more protests here, there are a few pacifist things which i wanna go highjack and get on the mic and do a call to arms YEAH.

well im off

[Xvall]

I know what you mean. I've been at it for a few years as well; and at first I was disgusted by things like pictures of dead children killed by the Fascist Dictatorship of the United States. Now it doesn't seem like anything special. I feel quite tired; although I will contrinue to presist. Just keep faith in your beliefs.

[Jaha]

i think you are realizing the struggle you have commited yourself to. like a soldier, you have faught many battles, but in the long run, you have seen little victory.

you have three choices:
(1) continue as you are.
(2) quit the struggle as you appear to be losing hope in it.
(3) convince yourself with proof that the fight is worth fighting. convice yourself that changes are being made. convice yourself that there is more than just a light at the end of the tunnel.

i think the problem is that you have something in your life that you are passionately against. just find something that really makes you happy instead of angry or outraged. dont quit protesting, justfind something to balance it out.

you act and play guitar, but do they make you really happy? are you passionate about them? find something (or someone) you LOVE.

[DeathToAmerica]

Dracoli, it's not just looking at pictures. It's everything! No emotion! Besides disguist and the pursuit of higher learning. I don't want love(as I beleive it doesn't exist), I don't want friends because I go well upon my own(although I will converse with people and drink with them, I am not isolated). My life is eating, sleeping, working... and perhaps masturbation.

I do alot of activist work, along with school work and volunteer work. I do these things now to learn really and for things I believe in. I don't feel ashamed or anything anymore. I feel nothing really...

I am just wondering is this a good thing? Is this normal? If not, what can I do?

[Xvall]

Don't worry about love. It probably doesn't exist. Avoid it. Then again, maybe I'm not the best person to take advice from.

[redstar2000]

Take a vacation from political work. I'm serious. You probably feel so "burned out" that the political work you're doing ain't all that hot anyway.

Take off a month...or a year. Maybe read a few books. Think, in a lazy, undisciplined way, about what direction(s) you might like to go in.

We are not machines and should try to act like them.

[Panamarisen]

DtA, as you can see, you got a lot of support over here. Even tho we all don´t know each other personally -at least most of us-, I think this is very important, because we are all real people, not virtuality.

Anyway, I would like to tell you a "couple" of things:

The way I think you feel, or, even better, the way you INTERACT WITH LIFE AROUND, and your own self-perception, guess you are looking at it all as some kind of mistake or abnormality. And it´s all NORMAL, specially if, as you mean, you enjoy existencialism. Actually, it´s not a matter of enjoying for you: you live as an existencialist. Which, I think, is just ANOTHER way of living (personally, a very interesting one).

I would suggest you to widen your readings. Search for more authors (try Julio Cortázar, Fernando Pessoa, Cesare Pavese, Gaston Bachelard, Andre Gide, Alejandra Pizarnik, Rimbaud, Lautrémont..., and such, all of whom are translated to English for sure, or, for instance, Carson McCullers, Henry Miller, Kazuo Ishiguro). You will feel much more self-understanding.

You are an actor and a good reader: I´m sure you could be able to write short stories, poems, and even novels some day. Get in touch with people like you, there are a lot like you around, even not being the majority. It´s just that you don´t know them yet.

And, most important, don´t go against your own nature. You are who you are, and it´s good things are that way.

PS: My apologies for writing you as if I were some kind of teacher...


HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE!