SonofRage
24th November 2002, 08:17
I saw this an another message board. Comments?
Two Cows…….
A Christian: You have two cows. You keep one and give the other to your neighbor. Then you covet it.
A Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.
A Democrat: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbra Streisand sings for you.
A Republican: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So???
A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage which ultimately blows up the cows.
Capitalism, American style: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American style: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point where you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
Bureaucracy, American style: You have two cows. The government takes them both and shots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
An American corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.
A French corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three. You have wine and cheese. Life is good.
A Japanese corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of a regular cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
An Italian corporation: you have two cows, but you don’t where they are. While ambling around you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is great.
A Russian corporation: You have two cows and some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have more vodka and learn you have 12 cows. You have more vodka and now learn you have 43 cows. You count them again and learn you have 15 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your tenth 5 year plan in the last 3 months. The Russian mafia shows up and takes how ever many cows you really have.
A Swiss corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one.
A Brazilian corporation: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows. You expropriate them. The American corporation goes chapter 11.
An Indian corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.
Two Cows…….
A Christian: You have two cows. You keep one and give the other to your neighbor. Then you covet it.
A Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.
A Democrat: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbra Streisand sings for you.
A Republican: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So???
A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage which ultimately blows up the cows.
Capitalism, American style: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American style: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point where you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
Bureaucracy, American style: You have two cows. The government takes them both and shots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
An American corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.
A French corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three. You have wine and cheese. Life is good.
A Japanese corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of a regular cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
An Italian corporation: you have two cows, but you don’t where they are. While ambling around you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is great.
A Russian corporation: You have two cows and some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have more vodka and learn you have 12 cows. You have more vodka and now learn you have 43 cows. You count them again and learn you have 15 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your tenth 5 year plan in the last 3 months. The Russian mafia shows up and takes how ever many cows you really have.
A Swiss corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one.
A Brazilian corporation: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows. You expropriate them. The American corporation goes chapter 11.
An Indian corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.