Individual
28th March 2005, 08:27
So here I find myself, once again. Similar to Mr. Kerouac, here lie some continual ramblings, priced two dollars off, yet still unfinished upon a mental deathbed.
Call upon me whatever you will, speak words of devastation upon my soul, but within my flow I'll finish. No stopping me.
Where mysteries flourish and boredom declares life, months hold seeming eternities. I am not alone, possibly lonely, yet accompanied greatly. It may seem as though my mind is terminal, lost, even illusioned; make a judgment, out of you only I know personally. I refer to myself, well I usually don't refer to myself. I assure you though; if I did, something great of psychology might come. Considering there is still missing treasure, there is no end to any rainbow, I am content with the myth of time. The ever constant passing of time anyhow.
Without getting too .. Involved? I'd sure love to use this blank space to vent. Fucking technology. Mind you, mind myself rather, I haven't eaten in days .. Talking of future actions, semi-future more likely, now past has gone a roast beef sandwich..
What comes of energy is mighty interesting. Quit assuming scientific value is present in this thought, not ever, merely now. Stop. I think of certain energies. Actually, damnit you may have been right, likely scientific .. Anyhow, getting off topic. Energies brought on by chemicals and what not; yes scientific. Fuck it. Certain chemicals out there are mighty privelaged. Taking ahold of one's will, surely we've all experienced this .. science or what have you. Maybe not as greatly, but I'm not one to judge. Just believe, don't believe, well just assume of substances under the sun. Any ole' substance under the sun. I take that back, certain exact substances I'll leave nameless in detection of some worldly mental disorder. Damn my corrections.
Maybe you catch the drift, if not, all the better. Ignore the ways of proper english for now, if I have confused, well fuck some things are just left confusing. I leave ideas of fun to be had, if I make sense damn, I tried.
I confuse myself sometimes, or am I confusing myself and rather not just confused in the first place? I told you specific science takes hold of one's will. Now only if I could have this back, my will. Will you please? I smile from this. Now listen closely. A mental trick I'd say, you're not really listening. I smile from this too.
I got kicked out of a warehouse just recently. Not for basking in fun under the sun, not for leaving a completed durex on the dance floor, as if you wanted to hear, you wouldn't have been able to anyways. No, simply because it happened. No sure reason why, just thought I'd let you know. Could have something to do with reasons leading up to a stinch in an intervention program, there where I devised up my plan. I'll mention it later..
I had lied earlier. I'll tell you why now.. I was laid off. Not lying within one nights writings, tonight's. No, simply lying in general. I don't lie too much though, just had for some reason. Anyhow, I was laid off. For no particular reason either, in my opinion. Usually not opinionated either. The demise of a career all could have something to do with incidentes leading to my brief visit to intervention as well. And I apologize, I've lied again, I love opinions. Just thought I'd let your mind spark for a moment.
If you wish to envision where I lie, as of .. this very moment in time. Well, I am not much for imagination. Fuck, I need to quit defining myself. Anyhow, well let me figure out the best way to describe something.
I lay surrounded, amongst described philosophies of what I am. Though I am not figuratively under the sun; I am enclosed by walls and ceiling, specific items lay beside me. Nothing spooky, I am not strange in any peculiar way. You wouldn't look twice had you seen me walking down the street, other than visual descriptions of height and loss of weight, though you wouldn't have previously known me. Certain substances, though this word immediately hints at too much, are plentiful. This is all within the details of my mentioned past plan which I would love to share glory, maybe I'll write thoughts to be published before my mind falls out. The plan of which has likely ended a John Steinbeck chapter of my time. John Steinbeck in the sense of length versus intricate details all protruding from worldly motions of time anyhow. I really confuse myself sometimes, something which proceeds to make me smile.
I had begun describing my surrounding as of that very moment, though things change. You wouldn't conceive the time I've sat on this very writing. I believe it has been an elapsing night since I've last ate. Though I usually lie, time travels quickly.
I've lied again, when the moment I feel for a walk, I won't turn myself down. I lied about explaining to myself certain past experiences, though I already know them, and don't quite trust you enough.
Truly, my fucking mind hurts.
Call upon me whatever you will, speak words of devastation upon my soul, but within my flow I'll finish. No stopping me.
Where mysteries flourish and boredom declares life, months hold seeming eternities. I am not alone, possibly lonely, yet accompanied greatly. It may seem as though my mind is terminal, lost, even illusioned; make a judgment, out of you only I know personally. I refer to myself, well I usually don't refer to myself. I assure you though; if I did, something great of psychology might come. Considering there is still missing treasure, there is no end to any rainbow, I am content with the myth of time. The ever constant passing of time anyhow.
Without getting too .. Involved? I'd sure love to use this blank space to vent. Fucking technology. Mind you, mind myself rather, I haven't eaten in days .. Talking of future actions, semi-future more likely, now past has gone a roast beef sandwich..
What comes of energy is mighty interesting. Quit assuming scientific value is present in this thought, not ever, merely now. Stop. I think of certain energies. Actually, damnit you may have been right, likely scientific .. Anyhow, getting off topic. Energies brought on by chemicals and what not; yes scientific. Fuck it. Certain chemicals out there are mighty privelaged. Taking ahold of one's will, surely we've all experienced this .. science or what have you. Maybe not as greatly, but I'm not one to judge. Just believe, don't believe, well just assume of substances under the sun. Any ole' substance under the sun. I take that back, certain exact substances I'll leave nameless in detection of some worldly mental disorder. Damn my corrections.
Maybe you catch the drift, if not, all the better. Ignore the ways of proper english for now, if I have confused, well fuck some things are just left confusing. I leave ideas of fun to be had, if I make sense damn, I tried.
I confuse myself sometimes, or am I confusing myself and rather not just confused in the first place? I told you specific science takes hold of one's will. Now only if I could have this back, my will. Will you please? I smile from this. Now listen closely. A mental trick I'd say, you're not really listening. I smile from this too.
I got kicked out of a warehouse just recently. Not for basking in fun under the sun, not for leaving a completed durex on the dance floor, as if you wanted to hear, you wouldn't have been able to anyways. No, simply because it happened. No sure reason why, just thought I'd let you know. Could have something to do with reasons leading up to a stinch in an intervention program, there where I devised up my plan. I'll mention it later..
I had lied earlier. I'll tell you why now.. I was laid off. Not lying within one nights writings, tonight's. No, simply lying in general. I don't lie too much though, just had for some reason. Anyhow, I was laid off. For no particular reason either, in my opinion. Usually not opinionated either. The demise of a career all could have something to do with incidentes leading to my brief visit to intervention as well. And I apologize, I've lied again, I love opinions. Just thought I'd let your mind spark for a moment.
If you wish to envision where I lie, as of .. this very moment in time. Well, I am not much for imagination. Fuck, I need to quit defining myself. Anyhow, well let me figure out the best way to describe something.
I lay surrounded, amongst described philosophies of what I am. Though I am not figuratively under the sun; I am enclosed by walls and ceiling, specific items lay beside me. Nothing spooky, I am not strange in any peculiar way. You wouldn't look twice had you seen me walking down the street, other than visual descriptions of height and loss of weight, though you wouldn't have previously known me. Certain substances, though this word immediately hints at too much, are plentiful. This is all within the details of my mentioned past plan which I would love to share glory, maybe I'll write thoughts to be published before my mind falls out. The plan of which has likely ended a John Steinbeck chapter of my time. John Steinbeck in the sense of length versus intricate details all protruding from worldly motions of time anyhow. I really confuse myself sometimes, something which proceeds to make me smile.
I had begun describing my surrounding as of that very moment, though things change. You wouldn't conceive the time I've sat on this very writing. I believe it has been an elapsing night since I've last ate. Though I usually lie, time travels quickly.
I've lied again, when the moment I feel for a walk, I won't turn myself down. I lied about explaining to myself certain past experiences, though I already know them, and don't quite trust you enough.
Truly, my fucking mind hurts.