Frederick I. Geist

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

Novella started in creative writing thread, reviews please you fucks.

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

He remains silent, dieth.

[The Feral Underclass]

What is this thread for?

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

My novella in progress, see Creative writing thread. Reviews expected here.

[The Feral Underclass]

Originally posted by [email protected] 17 2005, 10:11 PM
My novella in progress, see Creative writing thread. Reviews expected here.
There is nothing in the creative writing thread which is yours?

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

There is two pieces I submitted.

[The Feral Underclass]

Originally posted by [email protected] 17 2005, 10:20 PM
There is two pieces I submitted.
Where?

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

Jesus, just look through it, I mean T SP can see it and so on. I cant help you spot it, its clear as feck.

[The Feral Underclass]

Originally posted by [email protected] 17 2005, 10:48 PM
Jesus, just look through it, I mean T SP can see it and so on. I cant help you spot it, its clear as feck.
Alright! calm yaself..

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

I'm writing a novella, Im stressed.

[The Feral Underclass]

It's not a novella. A Novella is a short book. This is short prose maybe? Are they individual pieces or taken from a larger work. I hope not. I think they work better as smaller prose. I love this style of writing though....


Is this novel? Novel your damn right like fucking lucid snot you dumb fuck.

Why dont you dry your hair, afraid of nits, they are microscopic. what s the fear eh? fillingstein and this be che-lives, the chapter begins here beside the internet, yes offline./

if you cud but for day one would you just do it? I mean JUST fuckin do it, like a nike ad, just fucking do.

What do you think motherfuckers? Joycean I think.

Answers in a reply.

The imagery isn't clear, although it conjures it; in my opinion that's what makes writing like this brilliant. It's never really clear, at least to me, precisely what you are talking about; but you definitely feel emotions in the individual statements.

Poetry writers always try and make innocent points about love or about cats (Shamus Heaney) or experiences, but what works best for me is that spontaneous prose (Kerouac, Ginsburg) where the statements are completely from the momentary mind. Whether there is a meaning in it is always unclear, but I don’t think that's a bad thing. It makes it more fun.

The only criticism I have of it is that it isn't surreal enough, it makes me think that it wasn’t spontaneous and I think small prose like this always work better when the are surreal. Just getting the urge to write and then writing imagery from your mind.

I like the "work it out yourself" feel to writing and the surrealism makes it better. Ending things with statements like "answers in a reply" is emphatic and bold and it makes you excited to think what you're talking about. That's what writing should be in my opinion.

Did that make sense?



There you have, three notes and I dont play music but I'll strike a note with you. Fleeting, well you try retention, see it's gone already what was the last word before the word before that,

You silly boy, fifty times in love, are you in love with the wood?

Pretty much what I said before, only I prefered this one. It's short, but that makes it better because it kind of snaps at your attention and that's good sometimes. It's also relativly more surreal than the last one and I like the way you play with the words.

I really love writing, and I think that you have a similar style to me, not exact, but similiar in "purpose" so to speak. The 'Fantastic Poetry Forum' is a good place to leave your stuff. Its a literary forum so the people there will criticise it better than what people could here as this is primarily a political forum. I think you have talent though...I'd like to read more.

[The Feral Underclass]

Originally posted by [email protected] 17 2005, 11:00 PM
I'm writing a novella, Im stressed.
Didn't see this before I posted. Don't really get what you're doing?

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

I'm not being serious TAT, I just posted them to see if somebody would reply and then made a thread to make sure they did. No need to worry ;)

[The Feral Underclass]

Originally posted by [email protected] 18 2005, 06:38 PM
I'm not being serious TAT, I just posted them to see if somebody would reply and then made a thread to make sure they did. No need to worry ;)
But I actually thought they were good.

[Pedro Alonso Lopez]

I'll keep going so and we may have something out of it yet.