Fires of History
25th April 2002, 02:27
Axis of Evil?
International reaction to Bush's "Axis of Evil" declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Lybia, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis Of Just As Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
"Axis of Evil" members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are 'Just as Evil'...NOT!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, "Everybody knows we're the best evils...we are the worst! Honestly..."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the "Axis of Evil."
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Our is- like- totally cool!"
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical musical chairs.
Indonesia, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Cuba, and Russia established the "Axis Of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis Of Countries That Aren't The Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked To Host The Olympics."
Canada, Mexico, and Austrailia formed the "Axis Of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America," while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the "Axis Of Countries That Be Allowed To Ask Sheep To Wear Lipstick."
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most of the new axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis Of Countires Whose Names End In 'Guay'," accusing one of its members of filing a false application, although he wasn't sure which one. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and 'Carpe'-guay denied the charges.
-From Carpe Dimentia, part of B.C. Carpe Diem Newsletter. I though this was hilarious, had to share. But certainly not as hilarious as Bush's initial "Axis of Evil" declaration though...lol!
International reaction to Bush's "Axis of Evil" declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Lybia, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis Of Just As Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
"Axis of Evil" members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are 'Just as Evil'...NOT!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, "Everybody knows we're the best evils...we are the worst! Honestly..."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the "Axis of Evil."
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Our is- like- totally cool!"
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical musical chairs.
Indonesia, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Cuba, and Russia established the "Axis Of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis Of Countries That Aren't The Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked To Host The Olympics."
Canada, Mexico, and Austrailia formed the "Axis Of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America," while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the "Axis Of Countries That Be Allowed To Ask Sheep To Wear Lipstick."
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most of the new axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis Of Countires Whose Names End In 'Guay'," accusing one of its members of filing a false application, although he wasn't sure which one. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and 'Carpe'-guay denied the charges.
-From Carpe Dimentia, part of B.C. Carpe Diem Newsletter. I though this was hilarious, had to share. But certainly not as hilarious as Bush's initial "Axis of Evil" declaration though...lol!