Trissy
3rd July 2004, 22:21
Okay, I was reading the greatest philosophers thread when I came across the following from 7189
I'm dead keen on Albert Camus. My favourite book is The Outsider. I love his style and philosophy. It is a philosophy that I subscribe to, but I cannot fully comprehend it which makes it rather enigmatic. It is this quality which makes it really interesting to me. I keep giving my life meaning all over the place, I find it hard to comprehend the complete absurdity of it all. However, when I begin to understand, it makes me feel really good for some odd reason. I feel all warm inside. I love those exisential moments. Unlike Antoine of Sartre's Nausea, I relish them. However, when I have them, I don't give into the absurd, I always create some meaning. I suppose this comes from my aims and ambition. I aim to do accomplish great things. I aim to live a happy life. These 'fight' the absurdity, so to speak, which I suppose is to some extent absurd. Albert Camus, what a guy...
It just got me wondering how many of the members on Che lives have experienced the Absurd and what they thought of it. To start the ball rolling I shall briefly detail my stongest encounter with the feeling, and probably the only ever time I truly understood what Camus and Sartre where on about.
Okay to set the scene it was just under a year ago and it was the day that my A level exam results where released from school. I'd been dropped of at the gates of the school and I'd strolled into where we were due to collect them from. After a short wait everybody qued up and we moved toward a desk where we said our surname, gave our candidate number and got given our envelope. Well I got mine and walked outside still unaware of what was about to hit me. I knew that I needed ABB to get into the Chemistry course I wanted at Sheffield and that BCC would get me safely into Manchester which was my reserve. I opened it and glared down at the paper to see BBB staring back at me. I'd missed out on the grade I needed by 9 marks....
and so I slightly startled I started to walk home. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. All around me where people either happy or in shock but whatever their responce there was noise everywhere. I just walked through it all as none of it mattered to me any more. I was about a quarter of the way home and I don't even recall how I got there. Time ceased to pass in an ordered manner from the moment I recognised what my grades meant. Anyway, at the point I realised that I was at the school playing field and so as it was the holidays I just walked straight to the middle of it and sat down with my legs crossed and wept a little. I'd definately gotten into Manchester but at that moment it didn't matter. I'd missed out on Sheffield and the course I'd wanted. At that very moment I think I understood the absurdity of life better then I've ever done. In a field feeling alone depite being in a world of billions of people. Cars were zooming along the road which was 300m in ahead of me. Why? Worrying about what my life would mean. Why? I cared about my results. Why? The idea of Manchester scared me and yet Sheffield didn't. Why? The abundance of matter with no purpose all rushed before my eyes as I sat in that field and accepted the lack of reason in the world. A tiny, insignificant collection of compounds in a field on a tiny planet in a Universe without cause or reason. Even my own body made me feel a little sick...
and so there you have it. The one moment that I've felt Absurdity at its strongest. In the end I got into Sheffield and everything turned out fine. But at that moment nothing mattered, nothing made sense, and everything was superfluous.
So...anybody else got a tale about a moment when they felt that they understood absurdity the best?
I'm dead keen on Albert Camus. My favourite book is The Outsider. I love his style and philosophy. It is a philosophy that I subscribe to, but I cannot fully comprehend it which makes it rather enigmatic. It is this quality which makes it really interesting to me. I keep giving my life meaning all over the place, I find it hard to comprehend the complete absurdity of it all. However, when I begin to understand, it makes me feel really good for some odd reason. I feel all warm inside. I love those exisential moments. Unlike Antoine of Sartre's Nausea, I relish them. However, when I have them, I don't give into the absurd, I always create some meaning. I suppose this comes from my aims and ambition. I aim to do accomplish great things. I aim to live a happy life. These 'fight' the absurdity, so to speak, which I suppose is to some extent absurd. Albert Camus, what a guy...
It just got me wondering how many of the members on Che lives have experienced the Absurd and what they thought of it. To start the ball rolling I shall briefly detail my stongest encounter with the feeling, and probably the only ever time I truly understood what Camus and Sartre where on about.
Okay to set the scene it was just under a year ago and it was the day that my A level exam results where released from school. I'd been dropped of at the gates of the school and I'd strolled into where we were due to collect them from. After a short wait everybody qued up and we moved toward a desk where we said our surname, gave our candidate number and got given our envelope. Well I got mine and walked outside still unaware of what was about to hit me. I knew that I needed ABB to get into the Chemistry course I wanted at Sheffield and that BCC would get me safely into Manchester which was my reserve. I opened it and glared down at the paper to see BBB staring back at me. I'd missed out on the grade I needed by 9 marks....
and so I slightly startled I started to walk home. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. All around me where people either happy or in shock but whatever their responce there was noise everywhere. I just walked through it all as none of it mattered to me any more. I was about a quarter of the way home and I don't even recall how I got there. Time ceased to pass in an ordered manner from the moment I recognised what my grades meant. Anyway, at the point I realised that I was at the school playing field and so as it was the holidays I just walked straight to the middle of it and sat down with my legs crossed and wept a little. I'd definately gotten into Manchester but at that moment it didn't matter. I'd missed out on Sheffield and the course I'd wanted. At that very moment I think I understood the absurdity of life better then I've ever done. In a field feeling alone depite being in a world of billions of people. Cars were zooming along the road which was 300m in ahead of me. Why? Worrying about what my life would mean. Why? I cared about my results. Why? The idea of Manchester scared me and yet Sheffield didn't. Why? The abundance of matter with no purpose all rushed before my eyes as I sat in that field and accepted the lack of reason in the world. A tiny, insignificant collection of compounds in a field on a tiny planet in a Universe without cause or reason. Even my own body made me feel a little sick...
and so there you have it. The one moment that I've felt Absurdity at its strongest. In the end I got into Sheffield and everything turned out fine. But at that moment nothing mattered, nothing made sense, and everything was superfluous.
So...anybody else got a tale about a moment when they felt that they understood absurdity the best?