Going to see Iggy Pop tomorrow

[honest intellectual]

Yeah, baby.

I got my ticket in front of me like an emerald adorned with a silver hologram. It says 'Iggy Pop & The Stooges. Dublin Castle. Doors 7pm / show7:30pm' just like that.
This guy who's not a drag queen, but almost is, once asked me what band I'd most like to see live if I had a time machine. I said The Stooges, because everyone says they're the greatest live act ever. And the universe was listening, and so it reformed The Stooges and sent them to my hometown. Seamless! I've been wanting to see this for so long.

I don't know how familiar you cats are with the concept of hash tea. You see, when hash is added to boiling water, it dissolves only partially. The purpose of life is to get the the hash to dissolve completely so that none is left at the bottom and the water is really brown. This little cup has no idea what's in store for it: sieves and saucepans and brewing and drawing and simmering and boiling and microwaving and heating and reheating and boiling and drinking.

I'll post here tomorrow afterwards when I'm really buzzing and stoned.

[bunk]

i only like ' i wanna be your dog' which i found out about from a vietnam game.

[Invader Zim]

Been there done that.

He had the volume turned up way to much, more than anyother artist at the festival.

[Louis Pio]

This year Iggy is playing with the Stooges at the Roskilde Festival and I don't have the money to go :(
I would really like to hear the Stooges live.
Damn I envy you...

[honest intellectual]

OK, ladies and gentlemen. The new defining moment of my youth (drum roll, maestro):
I JUST DANCED ONSTAGE WITH IGGY POP AND I RAN MY TONGUE UP THE LENGTH OF HIS SPINE AND I TASTED HIS BLOOD AND KISSED HIS CHEEK.

He was all sweaty from bop-bop-bopping around and he tased all salty. My goodness, my Guinness! I think I'll write in to the Irish Times and tell them I will be very grateful if you could send me a photograph of myself dancing with Iggy Pop (I'm the one whose topless and a guy.) Enclosed are my name and address. (Prior to being topless, I was wearing a blue T-shit and black jeans. Later I was still wearing black jeans.)

I FUCKEN RAN MY TONGUE UP HIS SPINE.

So I was hoping (a little doubtfully, I must admit) that Iggy hasn't slowed down since the early 70s and is still the flying saucer he was in his heyday. (Think about hoow good the phrase 'flying saucer' is to describe that kind of person... Done?... on we go...). Now so I was half-expecting that he would be a Rock God, yes, but what I hadn't prepared for was that he's a creature oozing orgone and mojo and sex appeal and shake appeal... ooh, ooh wop, oh my, ooh menomenone, sex appeal I said a-Shake Appeal. Gyrating under the red lights, blurred by the rapid shaking of my own head, he looked like Salome (the Salome you understand, as imagined by the Decadents - Wilde, Moreau etc.... Moving on...). He's like a blue man-snake, an anacondra rippling and greased with sex appeal. His toned muscles moved under his too-old to-move- skin, wrinkling it and even a long, forked varicose vein running up his left arm, from the elbow to the heart looked sexy. He was topless, of course, Iggy would look silly in a shirt.

SO HE WAS TOPLESS AND I WAS TOO AND WE WERE TOPLESS TOGETHER AND I LICKED HIS BACK

You see he stage-dived pretty early on and I licked his elbow cos that's the only part my tongue could reach and I figured, ok now I can say I licked Iggy Pop's elbow. Yeah, former self, you weren't dissapointed, were ya? It's be cool to have a photo of me dancing with Iggy. And I'd get older and I'd have kids and I'd tell them that's me dancing with Iggy and they say who's MIggy cos jocks of our generation are gonna rear a generation of fucking philistines. And that's the photo I have of me dancin with Iggy.
Ok, the thing about the tea is this: (if any of our readers were doubtful about the effects of afforementioned tea, witn(n)ess this rant I'm writing as evidence. I made tea any it was good tea and I ended up having about three cups worth cos I was trying to put in more water to dissolve the resin. And it was nearly all dissolved, although I didn't quite reach the liquid Nirvana of tea. And I had to drink it cold because of the limitations of doing this surreptitiously and I figured it won't make a difference if it's cold but aafter like two hours I was thinkin aw shit it's not kicking in because it was cold but witness this rant I'm so so stoned. It must just take longer when it's cold I had it at 6:30 and it didn't kick in til after 11

Let's have a ball suga
And take our sweet li'l time about it

That's the music the were playing on the speakers when The Stooges weren't on (We're the fuckin STOOGES! said Iggy) which is fine music but the problem was they played it three times and it's a pretty long son. (In Choke by Chuck Palahnuik, which I'm reading now, I spied an its where there sohuld have been an it's. I was shocked.)
The support wasn't great. This Scottish band. Definite article sound. They did Black Dog by Zeppelin, which is good and of which I had thought just before the show. Must have been a premonition. Stoned, stoned, stoned. Everybody must get stoned! Iggy drank a beer onstage. Heineken cos it was the Heineken Green Energy festival, which isn't really a concert, just like, ten seperate concerts in three days. The guys from the ads were outside.
So I'd licked his elbow and I figured I'd tell ou cats I touched him and he licked my elbow and he looked at me when he said 'Getting through to YOU!' (i.e. me) (TV eye was the second or third song.) They mostly played Stooges stuff, as opposed to solo, which was interesting. Let me just check something, yeah, my eyes are red red. Walking home felt like walking home drunk. Tea is a litttle like getting drunk. You see, I got really drunk a few months ago, and did something really bad, the only really bad thing I've ever done. Nothing illegal, like, but really wrong. But now it's like the experience of dancing with Iggy fuckin Pop is making up for that horrible, orrible expeience which I hae been thinking a lot about. Oh, man, I got the munchies. Yeah, ma, I got onstage and danced with him. Killing one's parents would be cool. That'd be a cool thing to do.
Oh, shit, I keep meaning to tell you cats what song I was onstage for; it was 'No Fun'. See the interesting thing about The Stooges is that they're like Beck.. wait, nonono, wait, let me finish... they're like Beck only in that their different albums are completely different genres and they're masters of every genre they try. Like Beck is so talented he can effortlessly make good folk or electronica or indie or rap, The Stooges first album (The Stooges - 1969) was punk, arguably the first ever punk album; their second (Funhouse - 1970) was jazz-rock fusion - in my opinion, the only ever genuine jazz-rock fusion; their third album, afer Bowie reunited them (Raw Power - 1973) is pure hard rock. It's Kurt Cobain's favourite album and if I were Kurt Cobain it's be my favourite album too, if I were a purebred rocker. They played a whole lotta Funhouse, which is good cos I thought of it as a more esoteric thing that people mightn't have known as much, though it's one of my all-time favourite albums. They played 1970, they also played 1969. 'It's not fucking 1984, it's not fucking 2001, there's only one year with that magic number and it's.....' Iggy said by way of introducing it. Interesting that no one shouted 1970 and indeed that's not what he was talking about. OK, whatsisface is texting me, I'll go phone him and tell him about it and ok now I'm back. That seemed quick, didn't it, but it wasn't. I'm pretty fucking stoned. When I was walking home and felling like I was drunk (I did have a pint after, maybe that opened up my stomach lining and got the THC in.) and I felt like I could topple empires and shift stars in their constellations, bent to the almighty power of my cowing whim. What would Schopenhauer say? "When they look at you, you hae the power." Iggy said to us between songs. Man, there were probably some other people I know but didn't come with in the audience and they probably thin I'm so fucking cool now and I really am. I felt like telling randomers yeah I danced with Iggy Pop, yeah, just like an our ago and they'd maybe be like yeah whatever cos they may be pigheaded philistines.
Man I gotta listen to some other music. Jacques Brel...
l'accordion explire!
OK, now 'Vesoul'
'D'ailleurs j'ai horreur de tous les flonflons
de la valse musette et de l'accodrdion'
Now maybe some Bob Dylan cos that's what was in the car I got a lift in. I had to ask someone "What's the English for flonflons? Y'know those little decorative notes that aren't part of the bar?" I knew the French but I didn't know the English. Sam e with uru which is called a breadfruit in English.
-So, sir, on a scale of 1 to ten, how stoned are you?
- Very stoned, sir, very, very stoned.
I think I just halllucinated a bit there. I thought there was a fly on my hand. Why do you carry apples in your cheeks? They're not apples, they're flies. And they're ion my hands, not my cheeks. I gotta get Catch-22 back off whatserface some time. Ok, I'm gonna go get muchies and phone some people and now I'm back. Today's headlines: Ronald Reagan dead, PD campaigns for Bacik and I danced onstange wiith Iggy Pop. Did you touch him? they asked Yeah I touched him LOADS. Ah man it's great being Irish. The support did Black Dog.
Aa aa
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They did Real Cool Time. I read a preview that said it would be weird to see wrinkly fiftysomethings singing about having a real cool time etc. The thing is this, and here I really have a point to make: The Stooges are as good now as the evey were and what I've just seen is in no way inferior to what the swooning Rolling Stones journos and Elektra Records agents declared the best showmanship ever, the best live act ever. Iggy hasn't slowed down hasn't calmed down hasn't toned down. I wonder if he's still on heroin. Like Ozzy Osbourne goes of the heroin and he's never rocked since, but Iggy it doesn't seem to affect him at all.

I KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK

See now I've got the GLAM SLAM, te triple crown if you will (I heard Quentin Tarantion use the phrase triple crown to describe having Gordon Liu, Sonny Chiba and David Carradine for China, Japan and America respectively. I wanna be just like him, of course, so I'll use the phrase too.) So anyhows, the triple crown I have is that I've seen Lou Reed, David Bowie and Iggy Pop. I've thrown myself at a rock star 'face to face' (I Wanna Be Your Dog) it's like iI've lost my groupie virginity. Heheheh. MAn, the smile is gonna have to be surgically removed from my face. Yes, ma, surgically. From my face.

I recommend the tea.

[BOZG]

You seemed to have missed the licking of the spine explanation, or maybe I just cannot find it. You must return tomorrow and give us a coherent recollection (if possible) of what happened.

[honest intellectual]

I just licked his spine. It's not that hard to understand, steve :rolleyes:
Not the spinal cord, but up his back. He was at the front of the stage crouched down and I came up behind him and ran my tongue from the base of his spine up to his neck.

[The Rotten One]

Iggy. Woot. You've gotta love "I feel Alright".

[Hate Is Art]

your fucking wierd!

[BOZG]

You're fucking crazy man. :)

[Hate Is Art]

your weird as well Stephen!

[honest intellectual]

Please bear in mind that I’m not normally that weird; that rant is mostly the fault of class-B narcotics.

At BOZG’s request, here is a coherent (but not prosaic) account of what happened:

I went to the concert with two friends. It was all-standing and we got up to the barrier at the front before the place filled up. (This is in Dublin Castle.) The support was some mediocre Scottish definite-article type band, who played 'Black Dog' by Zeppelin but got some of the words wrong.

Now, when Iggy came on he was shaking his thang and my very first impression was that he was trying somewhat artificially to summon up the trademark ebullience of his youth. But when The Stooges started jamming, I realised that they were as good live as they were when they caused a sensation in 1969/1970.

Before the concert, I had never fancied Iggy or thought he was sexy. I mean, I thought he was probably the greastest rock star ever, but I never understood when people (Che-lives members included) cited him as a sex symbol. However, when I saw him perform on Sunday (it was a bank holiday weekend), he was an incarnation of Lust, an entirely sexual creature, oozing orgone from every pore and shaking like Salomé. It's exactly like with Elvis: you can't get his sex appeal unless you've seen how he moves onstage.

During, I think, the second song (I forget which it was), he did a stage dive and I clambered to touch his flesh. I managed to lick his elbow, because that's as far as my tongue could reach and I figured 'Cool, I can tell everyone that I licked Iggy Pop's elbow.' Little did I know....

During 'No Fun', only about the fourth or fifth song, Iggy pointed out these two girls near me in the front and the security guards (who are between the stage and the crowd) lifted these girls over the barrier and let them on stage. Whereupon a whole bunch of other people tried to climb the barrier. I hoisted myself up, struggling for leverage in the mass of sweating flesh, and an unseen friendly hand gave me the shove that put me over the barrier. A guard grabbed my wrist, but I twisted free and made a run for the ladder onto the stage. If there's one thing I learnt and really fuckin' learnt right in all the karate I did, it's how to break a wrist hold. The guards were fighting back the human tide and something between ten and twenty of us made it onstage.

We were all bop-bop-boppin' around the stage and it occured to me that people were ignoring the band a bit and I felt bad for them so I danced with Mike Rogg (sp?), the guitarist for a bit. (I don't know what happened to the original Stooge guitarist, Ron Asheton; he must have snuffed it. His brother Scott was still on drums, though.) So I was wearing this T-shirt which was really too tight for the concert and was already soaked in sweat, so I figured I'd get into the Iggy groove by taking it off. I moshed for a while with another stage-invader, then decided I didn't feel that bad for the band so I went to the front of the stage to dance with Mr. Osterberg himself. He was crouched down at the front of the stage, singing to the front row, as any singer will do at least twice during a concert and I stepped up behind him, shrugging away the loud-shirted roadie who tried to stop me and sidestepping some topless blonde chick. And so I came up behind him and bent over him and ran my tongue up the middle of his bare back. There was a little cut on his shoulder, which I imagine was from his fingernails flailing about earlier in the show, and I licked that too and I could taste his blood, thus keeping holy the Sabbath day.

At the end of the song, everyone on stage crowded around Iggy, wanting to touch him and talk to him. He asked one guy, "What brought you here today?". And this guy obviously wasn't very witty or original, so he said, "You! And your band. You guys rock!" Then I managed to kiss Iggy on the cheek.
Then everyone started leaving the stage. I had wanted to stay on for another song, but I figured I couldn't do so alone, so I went back into the crowd for the rest of the show.

[BOZG]

Fucking brilliant. And yes, you are always this crazy.

[honest intellectual]

Crazy - perhaps.
Weird - perhaps not

Don't even ask about 'krazzy'.
I've been walking around like a manic Cheshire cat for the past couple of days, though.

[Ziggy]

I don't usually get jealous of people seeing musicians that I love but... DAMN YOU!!!!!!! YOU'VE SEEN THE FUCKING UNHOLY TRINITY OF ROCK AND LICKED IGGY POP!!!! I'm swimming in a pool of jealousy right now

[Hate Is Art]

Id be more jealous if you licked Elisha Cuthberts back!

[dopediana]

hahahahaha! "keeping holy the sabbath day!"
and the rock trinity? i take it you've seen hedwig and the angry inch.

[Ziggy]

Now that's a spine worth licking!

[refuse_resist]

Repo Man was another good song he had done.

[honest intellectual]

There's a photo of Iggy et moi on page 16 of this month's MOJO magazine, except it looks like I'm strangling him.

[BOZG]

Because I can't be bothered buying a copy, I'll just go to Easons and have a look.

[Dirty Commie]

Awesome, post the pic, theres no where near me that sells Mojo, I have to get it from people who live many miles away.

[Lefty]

Damn. I envy you, HI.

[honest intellectual]

Iggy & The Stooges are supporting Madonna at Slane Castle soon. There are still tickets available, so I might be able to just stay for their set and sell the ticket at a profit before Madonna comes on stage. I doubt that'd work though. (The tickets are 90 euro; isn't that outrageous?)

[SittingBull47]

that is pretty outrageous. I was actually at Slane Castle when the Red Hot Chili Peppers performed. My god, it was insane. tons of people, awesome atmosphere, etc. etc. awesome place to be.
I think it'd be possible to sell your ticket before Madonna comes on. good luck with that.

[honest intellectual]

OK, SittingBull, you can help me out here:
When you went to Slane and gave your ticket to the guard to get in, did he take the ticket and give you back a stub? Or did you get one of those wristbands? Could you leave the venue and get back in? (I need to know all this for my aforementioned plan.) Thanks.

[SittingBull47]

Ok HI. i'll send you a message.