*TRIGGER WARNING* Discrimination against female sexual abuse survivors

[primetime]

Do you feel that women who have dealt with sexual abuse are discriminated against in some way? I'm 15, and am currently involved in a court case due to being physically manipulated for a long time by a 56 year old man. All the people who have heard of the situation, including family members, have all treated me like I'm crazy for "allowing" this to happen and I should have known better. Don't you feel this is a little too common for victims? This isn't just a problem for women obviously, but it is a problem from the patriarchy, as AMAB (assigned male at birth) victims are ridiculed because the patriarchy, as the same for AFAB victims. I am agender, but i was assigned female at birth and I guess I am just looking for some discussion/reassurance of this being wrong, as I'm still very young and growing up in a anti-feminist victim blaming environment. :crying:

[Quail]

I don't have time to write out a long response, but any consistent anarchist or communist would agree that if someone abuses you, it is absolutely not your fault. You didn't "let it happen" and I'm so sorry that the people around you are saying things like that to you. When you're young, if you have low self esteem, etc., the kind of person who would manipulate and abuse you will pick up on how they can get to you and target you, but it's not your responsibility to make sure people don't abuse you. It's their responsibility not to prey on people.

Unfortunately you're right, and it is all too common for survivors of sexual abuse to be blamed for what happened to them, or not believed, or otherwise treated badly. Sexual abuse is also sickeningly common among the people I know. If my circle of friends is anything to go by, the often quoted 1 in 4 statistic about rape is a gross underestimate.

Finally, if you want/need someone to talk to, feel free to drop me a PM.

[Invader Zim]

As Quail notes, it is a simple truth that the whole, complete and only blame and responsibility rests squarely with the abuser. Don't let anybody tell you any differently.

[BIXX]

Those who'd blame you for your abuse are just as bad as your abuser in my opinion. You're right, they're wrong. They are enabling a society that justifies abuse.

[Bala Perdida]

Here is a short and simple read on how painfully common this is. http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1504-8-ways-legal-system-screws-rape-victims-like-me.html but yeah, sorry you gotta go through this. Full solidarity, and disregard those family members. There is absolutely no reason to take them into consideration. So don't let the fact that they're your family hold you back from disconnecting from them.

[primetime]

Thank you all, it's uplifting to know there are people who are capable of reason/morality.