Favorite anti-capitalist jokes?

[Red Eagle]

If this is the wrong section I apologize, I thought jokes might fit under propoganda. So what are your favorite anti-capitalist jokes I'll start us off (this joke isn't mine)
A young girl asks her father, "Why is it so cold in the house?"

"We don't have any coal", he says.

"But why is there no coal?", she wants to know.

"Because I lost my job", he replies.

Still unsatisfied, she asks one more time—"And why did you lose your job?"

To which he answers, "Because there is too much coal".

[Q]

Moved from /propaganda to /chit-chat.

[VCrakeV]

Not exactly fitting, but close enough:

Why is the bureaucracy always expanding?

... To meet the needs of the ever-expanding bureaucracy.

[Vogel]

A group of workers enter the boss's office and tell him that they have just taken over the factory. "You can't", says the boss. "I own it"

"And how did you come to own it?" asks one of the workers.

"It was left to me by my father", says the boss.

"How did he get it?" asks the worker.

"He got it from his father", says the boss.

"And he?" asks the worker.

"From his father", says the boss.

"And he?" persists the worker.

"He fought for it", says the capitalist in a burst of familial pride.

"Well", say the workers, all together this time, "We'll fight you for it".

[Art Vandelay]

What do a painting and a capitalist have in common?

They're both things you hang. ;)

[Viktor89]

Capitalism is like the vending machine. It never works but it takes your money.

[motion denied]

Deeply disappointed. Came here ready to read 'trotskyism', 'marxism-leninism', 'anarchism' etc. and I all got were anecdotes.

Such a shame.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

I read this one that went something like this:
The boss drives into work one day in a brand new shiny car and the worker told their boss how cool their new car was. The boss responds, "If you work really hard and put your all into it I'll be able to buy a new car next year."

[Brandon's Impotent Rage]

A little boy goes to see his dad and says, "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"

His father replies, "Sure, son. What's the question?"

The little boy says, "What is politics?"

"Well son, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me 'Gordon Brown.' Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her 'Alistair Darling.' We take care of your needs, so we'll call you 'The People.' We'll call the maid 'The Working Class,' and your baby brother we can call 'The Future.' Do you understand, son?

"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his nappy, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.

"Dad, now I think I understand what politics is."

"Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

"Well, dad, while Gordon Brown is screwing the Working Class, Alistair Darling is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.

[Viktor89]

Can pigs fly? Try give a redbull to a cop n see.

[Viktor89]

Why are the best taxi drivers in Berlin always ex-Stasi agents? Cuz you only need to tell em your name and they will know exactly where you and your relatives live.

[tuwix]

A state-capitalism joke:

A secretary general Brezhnev says on Politburo meeting:
"Comrades, we've found a solution to overtake Americans in space. We must fly to sun!!!"
A baffled other member of Politburo says:
"But secretary general, there is very, very hot..."
But Brezhnev had very strong counterargument:
"Comrades, we've found a solution to this problem: We're flying out at night!"

[Brandon's Impotent Rage]

A train is heading to Moscow. In one car there is Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Gorbachev, and Yeltsin.

Suddenly, the train screeches to a halt. All of the car's passengers are confused.

Lenin says: "This is strange. Let's call for a day of volunteer work and have the workers solve the problem."

Stalin says: "This is nonsense! Someone shoot the engineer!"

Khrushchev says: "No, no comrades. Let's re-educate the engineer!"

Brezhnev says: "Comrades! Let's close the curtains, turn on the record player, and pretend we're moving!"

Gorbachev says: "Comrades, I think we should all get out...and push."

Yeltsin says....nothing. He just downs half a bottle of vodka, screams incoherently, hijacks the train, and drives it into a ditch.

[#FF0000]

some acquaintances of mine refer to me as an anti-capitalist joke :mellow:

[Vladimir Innit Lenin]

this shit is weak

[Vladimir Innit Lenin]

Honecker and the sun:

One morning, (East German General Secretary) Erich Honecker looked out his window. It was a beautiful, sunny day. "Good morning, dear sun", said honecker. And the sun replied, "good morning, dear Erich".

In the afternoon, again Honecker looked out his window and beamed, "good afternoon, dear sun". And again the sun replied, "good afternoon to you, dear Erich".

In the evening, honecker turned to his window and once again cried "good evening, dear sun". But this time there was no reply. Again, "good evening, dear sun". Honecker continues, "dear sun, why do you not reply this time?"

Finally, the sun replies, "kiss my ass, i'm in the west now".

:lol::lol::lol:

[Ceallach_the_Witch]

the socialist workers' party

[tuwix]

In one of the 'Fox News' offices there is a conversation. Apparently the more important person says:
“You're hopeless idiot, f***n fool, uneducated moron and pathological liar! Then you're perfectly fit to be journalist! Welcome to our newsroom!”

:D

[Asero]

In one of the 'Fox News' offices there is a conversation. Apparently the more important person says:
“You're hopeless idiot, f***n fool, uneducated moron and pathological liar! Then you're perfectly fit to be journalist! Welcome to our newsroom!”

:D

wow this joke is complete shit