Advice

[ashtonh]

Hello I have a very serious issue. My parents have asked me about my views and I explained them without mention of trotsky, lenin, or any others that would hint far left ideals. However they accused me of being communist so I explained that actually (lying at this point) that I was just democrat. Soon after ( they are conservative) I was scolded and grounded. Any advice on how to avoid this type of circumstance.:confused::confused::confused::confus ed:

[tachosomoza]

Your parents punished you because you told them you're a Democrat? Wow...

Unfortunately, if you're underage, you're pretty much dependent on them for your sustenance and shelter, so you should either refrain from discussing political matters with them or agree with their views on things since you now know that this is how they'll respond.

[Skyhilist]

Tell them Jesus spoke to you and told you to become a communist, at the very least their reactions should be pretty entertaining.

[The Jay]

You could just lie to them from now on.

[tachosomoza]

Tell them Jesus spoke to you and told you to become a communist, at the very least their reactions should be pretty entertaining.

Since he lives in Southern Mississippi, this probably wouldn't turn out as funny as you think it would given the beliefs entrenched in that section of the country's populace. They're already pissed that he's "admitted" to holding views aligned with the Democratic party, adding blasphemy fuel to the fire wouldn't be an advisable course of action. Being thrown out of your house or getting beaten up isn't funny.

[The Garbage Disposal Unit]

That is grim.

The answer, I think, depends on a whole lot of factors. For one, if they, say, found you posting on a site like "RevLeft" would you be at risk of violence, or other serious harm?
Do you have a broader support network outside of your parents' home (e.g. progressive relatives, a group of sympathetic friends)?
Safety first is a very real thing.

Of course, I stirred mad shit with my parents as a teen. There was definitely a point where they realized they could either (a) try to control my life and, in the process, engender my disrespect, disregard, and contempt, or (b) listen to me, respect me, support me and, consequently, have a healthy relationship with me. I don't know your parents, but my feeling is that most parents would prefer being respected to being feared, and being loved to being tolerated out of necessity. Sometimes taking a stand can make this line clear.

Again, on the other hand, "taking a stand" is no good if you haven't got a leg to stand on. Study, study, study and be ready to back up your words with historical examples, etc. Your parents are more likely to take you seriously if you take yourself seriously (not to be confused with dogmatically, or humourlessly). If your last discussion went poorly, maybe work through a few bookshelves before round two.

EDIT: Alternatively, my girlfriend's advice is, "Shut up until you turn 18, then get the fuck out ASAP."

[consuming negativity]

You could try showing support for your views in the Bible. Check the wikipedia pages on christian anarchism/socialism, and then take a fit if they try to keep you grounded for trying to be a good christian.

Then, when you're independent later in life, cut off all contact after telling them exactly how you feel.

[PC LOAD LETTER]

You could try showing support for your views in the Bible. Check the wikipedia pages on christian anarchism/socialism, and then take a fit if they try to keep you grounded for trying to be a good christian.

Then, when you're independent later in life, cut off all contact after telling them exactly how you feel.
Well that's just ridiculous. s/he shouldn't cut off contact with family because they disagree with her/him politically. This isn't a cult ...

I'm from south Louisiana, a similar environment to southern Mississippi. I'd say, just don't talk politics with your parents, don't hang a che poster or buy a shirt, just keep your head down and then when you hit 18 you can move out and you can do whatever you want. It sucks, but it's practical.

Also to everyone in the thread, to most of the super religious people in that area it's Reagan Jesus and everything else is liberal lies. So most of the using-the-bible-to-justify-socialism isn't going to fly more than incidentally. Unless OP became a liberation theologist or something ...

[consuming negativity]

Well that's just ridiculous. s/he shouldn't cut off contact with family because they disagree with her/him politically. This isn't a cult ...

I'm from south Louisiana, a similar environment to southern Mississippi. I'd say, just don't talk politics with your parents, don't hang a che poster or buy a shirt, just keep your head down and then when you hit 18 you can move out and you can do whatever you want. It sucks, but it's practical.

Also to everyone in the thread, to most of the super religious people in that area it's Reagan Jesus and everything else is liberal lies.

I know I'm being a bit presumptive, but any parents who would punish their child for having different political opinions than their own probably aren't very good parents overall. There is nothing ridiculous about an independent adult making a conscious decision to exclude anyone they want from their lives. My advice for the short-term isn't advice I'd follow: while I advised the OP to work other angles, I've never been able to lie about any beliefs I hold strongly... including the belief that it's bogus as fuck to ground your kid for liking the Democrats more than the Republicans.

[ashtonh]

Thank you for the help and advice.:)

[Sinister Intents]

You could just lie to them from now on.

I tried that, but then came straight out as a communist. I'm unapologetically communist

[Skyhilist]

Since he lives in Southern Mississippi, this probably wouldn't turn out as funny as you think it would given the beliefs entrenched in that section of the country's populace. They're already pissed that he's "admitted" to holding views aligned with the Democratic party, adding blasphemy fuel to the fire wouldn't be an advisable course of action. Being thrown out of your house or getting beaten up isn't funny.

If that would actually be their reaction then no, obviously this action shouldn't be taken - it's entertaining when dumb people get mad, just not too mad.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Leave a note in the copy of the collected works of Lenin in your local library. Await further instruction from strong leftist mercenaries.

(No but in all seriousness, I would just avoid political topics for the time being.)

[PC LOAD LETTER]

I know I'm being a bit presumptive, but any parents who would punish their child for having different political opinions than their own probably aren't very good parents overall. There is nothing ridiculous about an independent adult making a conscious decision to exclude anyone they want from their lives. My advice for the short-term isn't advice I'd follow: while I advised the OP to work other angles, I've never been able to lie about any beliefs I hold strongly... including the belief that it's bogus as fuck to ground your kid for liking the Democrats more than the Republicans.
It happens there, though, man. It's no indication of what else they do as parents. If OP said they were hit by their parents for saying they're democrats or something, then yeah, that's fucked, but all we know right now is they told OP to go to their room for a few hours and they can't do anything fun this weekend or something silly like that.

If some particular members of my family (not my parents) found out I'm an atheist I'm pretty sure they'd call their priest and try to get me out there under false pretenses so an exorcism could be performed. But other than that they're awesome, helpful, loving people who'd do anything for me. They just have to keep thinking I'm Christian! Chances are, OP is in the same boat. Until OP actually says they're being abused, I'm not going to assume anything ...

[The Garbage Disposal Unit]

It happens there, though, man. It's no indication of what else they do as parents. If OP said they were hit by their parents for saying they're democrats or something, then yeah, that's fucked, but all we know right now is they told OP to go to their room for a few hours and they can't do anything fun this weekend or something silly like that.

If some particular members of my family (not my parents) found out I'm an atheist I'm pretty sure they'd call their priest and try to get me out there under false pretenses so an exorcism could be performed. But other than that they're awesome, helpful, loving people who'd do anything for me. They just have to keep thinking I'm Christian! Chances are, OP is in the same boat. Until OP actually says they're being abused, I'm not going to assume anything ...

Yeah, I feel that.
I'm 27, and I'm just finding out now how many of my cousins are queers, radicals, etc. - we've all kept it more-or-less under wraps due to the conservative older generation. Now that we're all in our late-twenties/early-thirties, we can get away with being more honest at family gatherings. It's pretty great. I actually look forward to seeing my extended family on holidays now.

[Queen Mab]

Be thankful you weren't raised by Trotskyists. Every night my parents made me read the Transitional Programme three times before bed.

[GiantMonkeyMan]

Be thankful you weren't raised by Trotskyists. Every night my parents made me read the Transitional Programme three times before bed.
They were clearly too lenient on you. :P

Rough situation, OP. I agree with a lot of the advice given here; namely, don't talk politics with people you rely on for shelter and food. It's inevitable in many ways that you'll end up discussing some things but if you come at it from a way that tells your parents that you simply want to improve the lives of your fellow humans but avoid going into depth like defending revolution and abolishing wage labour then they might just dismiss you as young and naive rather than a communist. When I was still at school and living with my parents I thought the British Empire was awesome so you're already ahead of me.

[ashtonh]

Hello and I was supposed to be ungrounded from doing things like hang out with friends or something like that. After this incident the time was increased for " disrespecting them and my family" this time with a threat of if this "disrespect" continues to have physical punishment as well. I hope and believe they would not physically harm me. Sometimes tho if they threaten to bring my real father into it it could possibly escalate. :(

[Bostana]

honestly just dont let your parents push you around. You can stand up for yourself without direspecting them

[tachosomoza]

honestly just dont let your parents push you around. You can stand up for yourself without direspecting them

Did you miss the threats of physical violence?

[Rugged Collectivist]

They sound really bad. If I were you I'd keep quiet until I was old enough to survive on my own. That's easier said than done but I think it may be your best option based on what I've heard. Good luck at any rate. I hope things get better for you.

Sent from my C6522N using Tapatalk

[RedWorker]

That's a tough situation to be in, comrade. I'm sure your parents really love you and somehow believe they're acting "for your own good" - although that is no excuse for their disgusting behavior. Of course I do not know your exact situation, but allow me to type out a general outline of what I would do myself.

You basically have three options: a) Work on the relationship with your family, b) Never say or do something which they may dislike again, or c) Run away from them. Despite the fact that these will be often suggested, there are obvious shortcomings and strong disadvantages with options b) and c) and they are terrible choices. The very worst would be not to act at all - which ensures that you will continue facing problems.

I suggest option a). By this I mean that you should work on establishing a relationship based on respect rather than an one-sided one. You have to find a way to make your parents respect you. The tactics you can use to achieve this depend on your age, personality, self-esteem and other factors. Nevertheless, in any situation there is a way you will manage to do it with enough effort. You could even use tactics like refusing to talk to them at all. You should try to find what is the most extreme thing you can say or most extreme action you can perform which would meanwhile be tolerated - and then push through that. The key here is to be creative.

Here's a tactic I just came up with, for example: Make sure your mom and you are alone and that there is enough time, then start crying or act really sad [make this as realistic as possible - live through it]. Explain to her that you feel really humiliated and that you think that your parents don't really love you. Stuff like this is likely to turn the balance in your favor. Or *consistently* act depressed around them - and when they confront you about it explain a similar story.

See if there's any family member of yours with left-leaning, progressive, "liberal" or libertarian views. Talk with that person privately (by any means of communication) and calmly explain the situation, although there is no need to give out details. This is even better if this is an older person whom your parents are likely to respect. You can simply say that you are being discriminated or abused because of your political views.

More specifically:

You say they accuse you of being a "communist". They probably have no idea about what communism means at all, and may have ideas like believing that it consists of worshipping Stalin and supporting systematical murder of "counter-revolutionaries". Let's say that they, in their surely endless ignorance, think that communism is like fascism - a common confusion. If you had a son, would you not be concerned if he was a Nazi? Surely not to the point of discriminating or abusing him, but this helps you get the idea. I can't read their brain, and I don't know exactly what they think, but surely there is a misunderstanding. So you have to state to them that your political views are democratic (doesn't mean that you believe in parliaments or representatives) and non-violent. Try to do that in a way which does not even reference communism at all.

I'm assuming you're from USA, as you talk about "Democrats". They're probably "patriots", or "religious". In that case explain to them that USA was a state founded on the principles of freedom and civil and political rights (whether you really believe this or not), and ask how would Abraham Lincoln (for example) or George Washington (doesn't matter whether these people really were good persons or not, but it matters that they think they are) react when noticing a person is oppressed like that, or did Jesus not say to love your neighbor? Do conservatives not claim that one of the principles of their ideology is "freedom"?

In fact, you could accuse them of being what they believe to be "communists". Make analogies between their ways of suppressing freedom of speech and oppressing people and Stalin's tactics, for instance.

Remember that you are no bigger or smaller than them and that all beings have the same inalienable rights no matter what. Good luck.

[tachosomoza]

Southerners hate Lincoln.

[Einkarl]

If your parents are making your life fucking miserable because of political squabble i suggest to avoid all political talk. Just say you're apolitical and if that doesn't get them off your ass then just nod your head and continue living your life. It really isn't worth your time, safety or sanity to express your ideals to people that probably aren't open to new ideas, especially if they are threatening violence.
You're in a tough position but you will one day get out of this situation. Wait until conditions are right and get the fuck out of there. Maybe look into dorming at a university, apply for aid or grants that will help you pay for that. Even if finishing college is not in your life plan, it's a good way to get some distance and time to plan ahead. I wish you the best of luck comrade.

[Red Economist]

Hello I have a very serious issue. My parents have asked me about my views and I explained them without mention of trotsky, lenin, or any others that would hint far left ideals. However they accused me of being communist so I explained that actually (lying at this point) that I was just democrat. Soon after ( they are conservative) I was scolded and grounded. Any advice on how to avoid this type of circumstance.:confused::confused::confused::confus ed:

Hello and I was supposed to be ungrounded from doing things like hang out with friends or something like that. After this incident the time was increased for " disrespecting them and my family" this time with a threat of if this "disrespect" continues to have physical punishment as well. I hope and believe they would not physically harm me. Sometimes tho if they threaten to bring my real father into it it could possibly escalate. :(

I'm not sure what advice to give what has already been said. All I would say is that you shouldn't be afraid of your parents and you have the right to your beliefs and if that is not the case, something is terribly wrong. Unfortunately, this is not a 'natural' or automatic right to which we are entitled (as liberals would have it) and it does mean we have to 'fight' (in different ways) to have and exercise that right. This process- irrespective of politics- is part of a more natural growth away from dependence on your parents towards individuality and self-reliance in adulthood and you should find a way to stand on your own two feet- though I expect that won't be easy. In all probability you're going to have to look for ways to compromise with your parents or else just keep out of their way; whatever is practical. TAKE YOUR TIME and don't let them force you into a decision, as your changing the status quo and no matter what you do, you want to be sure it is right for you.

Exploring new, different and sometimes controversial ideas is part of that process and often puts us at odds with people who prefer to be more certain about the world by keeping it the way it is. This is why stereotypically young people are more radical than the general population as they are rebelling against their parents as they find their feet. In all probability your parents are frightened of what other people might think if they had a 'democrat' or 'communist' in the house and this is what they mean by you 'disrespecting' them.
As a belief system, Communism is not necessarily forever and many people decide to walk away because it requires them to be dishonest with themselves on one issue or another, but usually they value the experience and continue to use the some of the ideas as part of a personal reservior for ideas to think about. This is an option to keep in mind, but you have to make sure it is right for you. the goal is to be free and sometimes our ideas don't help that process. their have been moments when i have wanted to walk away, but I keep coming back to the same set of conclusions and realize as much as I would like to fit in and be liked by other people by taking the easy route of being more like them, it's not going to make me happy in the long-run and I can't really expect them to respect me if I don't respect myself.

In my case, this has involved over-coming a great deal of fear from the disapproval of my parents for having far left beliefs as my parents are 'conservative' and somewhat authoritarian but are strictly (reformist) socialists but I have been fortunate that they just 'left me alone' so I can think whatever I want in my own private space. I am still 'in the closet' because I'm not 100% sure about whether I am a communist or not or whether to take the risk of making my views public, even amongst friends. There is a summerhouse down the bottom of the garden where I can pace up and down and talk to myself out loud and think these things over, or go on a long walk round the block for about an hour, or walk to the nearest town in two hours. It's not much, but every bit of time I'm not in the house I am just that bit 'freer' and 'happier' than I was before. I'm looking forward to the day when I can just move out and be myself.

It's all I can do, but I hope it is of some help. :crying:

[Marshal of the People]

You are very unlucky. My parents approve of and take great pride in my political leanings, I am sorry yours don't.

I would recommend just (pretending to) agree with them until you can leave home. However trying to explain your beliefs to them and how they are not bad or harmful is worth a try, but it is risky and could result in disownment.

[Multiaccounting]

I hope your situation gets better soon. I am fortunate that in my family, politics are hardly ever a subject. That may be because we're all Republicans, though, so we all assume we see eye-to-eye on everything.

[Comrade Jacob]

Well, unless they come around you'll have to keep it quite until you can move out, my parents know I'm a communist and they are fine with it, but I can understand (what with the propaganda) why they would freak out if they found out you were one.
Sorry about that.