Futility Personified
11th April 2014, 11:45
This isn't mean to be serious, just the product of an overactive mind on a day with little left to do. If you manage to enjoy it.... I salute you.
BARRY enters the doctor's room.
DOCTOR: Hello, what seems to be the problem?
BARRY: Well, I can't sleep, I have awful depression and anxiety problems, and to be quite frank, my balls are itchy.
DOCTOR: ..... well, what's quite a lot to deal with. Where would you like to start?
BARRY: Well, the coup attempt in Venezuela has been keeping me up at night.
DOCTOR: Oh? And why is that?
BARRY wrings his hands desperately, wipes them on his sweaty forehead, then wipes them on his trousers. He is a sweaty man.
BARRY: Well, I think that a US backed coup against a state controlled by the working class is yet another negative development in the struggle for true liberation.
DOCTOR takes notes: "feels insignificant"
DOCTOR: Do go on.
BARRY: Well, conversely, I feel that supporting a state that posits itself as socialist is merely a desperate desire to find hope in the world, when really it will probably play out the same way as all of the state-capitalist regimes.
DOCTOR: Is there any way you could confront these feelings?
BARRY: Well, i'm thinking of trying to organize a revolution in the developed western nations to try and offset the dangers of necessary authoritarianism in Venezuela and hopefully encourage the proletariat to emancipate themselves from the clutches of the bourgeoisie. Present company excluded of course.
DOCTOR makes notes: "Delusions of grandeur".
DOCTOR: Have you spoken to any other doctors about this?
BARRY: I have actually. 2 others.
DOCTOR: What did the first one say?
BARRY: He said that the corruption in Venezuela shows that it is completely inefficient and infested with cronyism and that will happen every single time people try and organise against the markets will.
BARRY gesticulates wildly, confused and torn.
BARRY: But then he said that in a liberal economy corruption is a sign that there is a healthy relationship between government and businesses and that I shouldnt worry about it. Isnt that doublethink?
DOCTOR: . I suggest you get some exercise. You clearly have too much time on your hands. What sort of doctor was he, anyway?
BARRY: Political science.
DOCTOR wipes his hand over his eyes and sighs.
DOCTOR: What did the second doctor say?
BARRY: Well, I spoke to him about some of my friends. Ive been worried about them, they havent been doing much recently and I wonder if they have the same problems as me.
DOCTOR: And what did this doctor say about your friends?
DOCTOR makes a note: Thinks he has friends
BARRY: He said they had a lot of trouble with their organs.
DOCTOR: What was wrong with their organs?
BARRY: Well, they were worried that their organs were in danger of being made toxic and might be in need of purging.
DOCTOR: Purging of what?
BARRY: Bourgeoisification.
DOCTOR: Is that a word?
BARRY: Yes.
DOCTOR: Ok. Who are your friends?
BARRY: The working classes of Venezuela. Its a long distance relationship.
DOCTOR: Right. And their healthcare professional was?
BARRY: Well, hes not a healthcare professional, but hes working for a doctorate in architecture.
DOCTOR sighs again, but it is clear from his face he is trying to find a positive.
DOCTOR: Well, architecture sounds nice. What does he hope to build?
BARRY: Well, gulags mostly.
A *badumtsch* sound is heard from next door.
BARRY: What was that?
DOCTOR: A drummer with a cocaine addiction lives next door.
BARRY clearly doubts this.
BARRY: Then why did he make that noise?
DOCTOR: Well, he has to crash once in a while.
Audience groans.
BARRY enters the doctor's room.
DOCTOR: Hello, what seems to be the problem?
BARRY: Well, I can't sleep, I have awful depression and anxiety problems, and to be quite frank, my balls are itchy.
DOCTOR: ..... well, what's quite a lot to deal with. Where would you like to start?
BARRY: Well, the coup attempt in Venezuela has been keeping me up at night.
DOCTOR: Oh? And why is that?
BARRY wrings his hands desperately, wipes them on his sweaty forehead, then wipes them on his trousers. He is a sweaty man.
BARRY: Well, I think that a US backed coup against a state controlled by the working class is yet another negative development in the struggle for true liberation.
DOCTOR takes notes: "feels insignificant"
DOCTOR: Do go on.
BARRY: Well, conversely, I feel that supporting a state that posits itself as socialist is merely a desperate desire to find hope in the world, when really it will probably play out the same way as all of the state-capitalist regimes.
DOCTOR: Is there any way you could confront these feelings?
BARRY: Well, i'm thinking of trying to organize a revolution in the developed western nations to try and offset the dangers of necessary authoritarianism in Venezuela and hopefully encourage the proletariat to emancipate themselves from the clutches of the bourgeoisie. Present company excluded of course.
DOCTOR makes notes: "Delusions of grandeur".
DOCTOR: Have you spoken to any other doctors about this?
BARRY: I have actually. 2 others.
DOCTOR: What did the first one say?
BARRY: He said that the corruption in Venezuela shows that it is completely inefficient and infested with cronyism and that will happen every single time people try and organise against the markets will.
BARRY gesticulates wildly, confused and torn.
BARRY: But then he said that in a liberal economy corruption is a sign that there is a healthy relationship between government and businesses and that I shouldnt worry about it. Isnt that doublethink?
DOCTOR: . I suggest you get some exercise. You clearly have too much time on your hands. What sort of doctor was he, anyway?
BARRY: Political science.
DOCTOR wipes his hand over his eyes and sighs.
DOCTOR: What did the second doctor say?
BARRY: Well, I spoke to him about some of my friends. Ive been worried about them, they havent been doing much recently and I wonder if they have the same problems as me.
DOCTOR: And what did this doctor say about your friends?
DOCTOR makes a note: Thinks he has friends
BARRY: He said they had a lot of trouble with their organs.
DOCTOR: What was wrong with their organs?
BARRY: Well, they were worried that their organs were in danger of being made toxic and might be in need of purging.
DOCTOR: Purging of what?
BARRY: Bourgeoisification.
DOCTOR: Is that a word?
BARRY: Yes.
DOCTOR: Ok. Who are your friends?
BARRY: The working classes of Venezuela. Its a long distance relationship.
DOCTOR: Right. And their healthcare professional was?
BARRY: Well, hes not a healthcare professional, but hes working for a doctorate in architecture.
DOCTOR sighs again, but it is clear from his face he is trying to find a positive.
DOCTOR: Well, architecture sounds nice. What does he hope to build?
BARRY: Well, gulags mostly.
A *badumtsch* sound is heard from next door.
BARRY: What was that?
DOCTOR: A drummer with a cocaine addiction lives next door.
BARRY clearly doubts this.
BARRY: Then why did he make that noise?
DOCTOR: Well, he has to crash once in a while.
Audience groans.