Question

[Sinister Intents]

What should I do with the pictures that I have from my past relationship and other related shit? I don't have the majority of it anymore at least. Should I just throw things in the trash or burn them? I can't handle seeing the shit, it reminds me too much of bullshit that happened.

[synthesis]

Keep the handwritten letters, delete the e-mails, texts and voicemails, and do whatever you want with the pictures. It's not going to help to just go Eternal Sunshine and try to make it like the relationship never happened.

[Sinister Intents]

Keep the handwritten letters, delete the e-mails, texts and voicemails, and do whatever you want with the pictures. It's not going to help to just go Eternal Sunshine and try to make it like the relationship never happened.

Handwritten letters are all with her and she'll most likely destroy them and not appreciate them. All emails, texts and voice mails were gotten rid of around Halloween, we've been broken up officially since October 29th, the first being October 14th and she ensure I suffered. I'm thinking of just destroying what I have left, I hate her fake smile in the prom photo from when she graduated. I'm trying to make it feel like I never knew her.
Can people provide me advice for letting go of all of my sadness and rage?

[slum]

Can people provide me advice for letting go of all of my sadness and rage?

you can't make it like you never knew her. we're shaped by the experiences we have, and even if she hurt you deeply, the relationship you had with her is now a part of your development, as is the process of letting her go.

it takes a while to let a relationship go if you were very committed and/or feel wronged by how it ended. you may have to go through a sort of grieving process. it sucks, but there's really no way to make it go by any faster- let yourself feel the feelings, maybe a 1/2 hour at a time or w/e when they really come over you, and the rest of the time try to make sure you're taking good care of yourself physically and not isolating yourself from the other relationships in your life that provide you with support.

heartbreak sucks, but it's a pretty universal experience and people are able to deal with it and learn from it. i suspect you'll come out of this wiser and more emotionally resilient, especially if this was your first "real" relationship.

let yourself feel the emotions you feel, cultivate your well-being in other parts of your life, try to accept that grief and pain are teachers no less valuable than more pleasant emotions. it won't make it stop hurting right now, but you will know it isn't going to last forever.

just as a side note, i see you're in the gardening thread- i don't know if you have this experience with growing things or if this sounds unbearably hippy-dippy, but i've found gardening can be a meditative practice that feels healing on a deeper level than the fully conscious self-talk/behavioral modification/etc that we do to make ourselves feel better in times of stress and sadness. it's exactly the time of year to turn over neglected soil, plant seeds, and nurture living things that will supply you with bounty later on.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Burn it all. All of it.

Burn it all and piss on the ashes.

[Slavic]

Burn it all. All of it.

Burn it all and piss on the ashes.


Holding hate and resent is the worse thing to do.

You just have to let time take its course.
I'm going through a divorce right now and it was hell for a few months. Anger, depression, etc. but in time these emotions will subside and you will be able to look back on your past relationship with new insight.

This is a period of growing. Try not to define your past with hate.