Mental Health Thread

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

the homeless thread was a great idea, here's one for those with mental health problems.

i'm a manic depressive. no tips, tips seem meaningless when you're either high or low but discussion always helps

[Trap Queen Voxxy]

It has been alleged by some headshrinkers that I have borderline personality disorder, anti-social blah blah, derealization and such. I am not sure I agree with their varying diagnoses. NEat thread idea tho.

[Goblin]

Depression, Social Anxiety and OCD. I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety at 14, and OCD at 18. I've also struggled with self harm and addiction, which is a result of my mental problems. Recently i found out i have something called an Inferiority Complex.

I was on antidepressants for about 1 year. The antidepressants were called Cipralex (they are also known as Escitalopram). They just made me feel worse to be honest. Felt good quitting them.

[Ele'ill]

bipolar and the symptoms align pretty closely with rapid cycling or ultra rapid cycling (actually ultra rapid cycling and ultradian which is mood changes within a day)

[Futility Personified]

Although i'm not diagnosed, as a former psychology student who is prone to introspection, the behaviour i've exhibited throughout my life certainly qualifies as Social Anxiety Disorder. if i'm wrong, then hypochondriac!

[Art Vandelay]

MDD is my latest diagnosis, but there is definitely also some anxiety of some form. I tend to isolate myself alot and even when invited out, mostly turn down the offers cause the thought of being in social settings (outside of my really close friends) is enough to make my stomach turn. So I'd say its predominantly social anxiety, but every so often I get weird awful anxiety attacks where I think I'm dying.

[Os Cangaceiros]

Generalized anxiety disorder/"panic disorder" w/o depression

It's only gotten out-of-control during the last year or so. I feel like I'm starting to reign it back in though.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

Depression, Social Anxiety and OCD. I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety at 14, and OCD at 18. I've also struggled with self harm and addiction, which is a result of my mental problems. Recently i found out i have something called an Inferiority Complex.

I was on antidepressants for about 1 year. The antidepressants were called Cipralex (they are also known as Escitalopram). They just made me feel worse to be honest. Felt good quitting them.
i was on a similar drug for a short while and came off it through my own choice as it made me worse, after my current appointment my new doc said this was a good idea, especially as i'm now thought to be bipolar. these anti-d's can actually induce manic episodes and a lot of people are wrongly diagnosed with depression alone as that's when you're more likely to seek help. i'd imagine a lot of people have this trouble.

i wonder if anyone can speak to antids being beneficial as most people i know who've used them speak very negatively about them

[Landsharks eat metal]

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder at age 13 (after hiding my symptoms for at least a year) and dysthymia at some point in time, but I think the diagnosis of dysthymia was changed to major depressive disorder after I was hospitalized for a week at the age of 18 for being suicidal. I started on Zoloft (sertraline) at the beginning, which worked for a bit then ended up not working any more so I worked my way up through to the highest safe dose for me and it still didn't work.

At the age of 15, I received a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome, which, while not a mental illness itself, certainly has an impact on my mental health. I switched to a psychiatrist and therapist who specialized in developmental disorders and started on Lexapro (escitalopram). The same sort of deal happened with this medication, but I'm technically still prescribed it, but I secretly don't take it.

When I was in the hospital, the doctors there tried some new medications for my anxiety. First they tried Neurontin (gabapentin), which is technically an anticonvulsant but apparently is used for treating social anxiety (which I somehow still have not been diagnosed with). It might have worked for me, but I'll never know because I had to stop it right away due to side effects causing me not to be able to walk straight or keep my balance. After that they tried Vistaril (hydroxyzine) which is an antihistamine which is supposed to have a sedating effect without being addictive, but it didn't really calm me down.

I was on the hydroxyzine for a while, until my doctor got sick and my therapist had to move, so my new doctor tried me on BuSpar (buspirone), but that didn't really work either and I was taken off it after a while. Then my other therapist had to move, so I got another one, and then she moved too, so I think all therapists will probably just leave you. And my psychiatrist is a douchebag who constantly misgenders me and tried to talk to me about Jesus and how knowing Him would solve my problems when I told him I wasn't interested. So I mostly just lie to him.

Some point in there I tried to kill myself (months after my hospitalization) because I thought that was the only way to get out of my shitty living situation at home. Now I'm making plans to be out of here in less than 2 months, but it's still kind of tempting to just kill myself because I know that's only the first step of a long journey I have to take (and there's some other stuff going on mentally that I don't feel comfortable talking about with too many other people, which is definitely something I'd like to get help for if possible, which seems like it would be because I'm headed to San Francisco or nearby and there seems to be a lot of resources out there)
I'd love to try benzos; maybe that would be the one thing that could let me chill the fuck out.

Shit, sorry that's so long and overly-detailed

[human strike]

I've never been properly diagnosed but separation anxiety is something I've suffered from my whole life. Depression is something that inevitably follows from this from time to time.

[Ele'ill]

Do any of you have that surreal take on spaces that a lot of folks with mental health have? When you're at a low or at a high certain spaces become something more than what they are. A relative housed me when I was in my teens and there was a room that was an atrium although a small one. I had a computer which allowed access to music and stories and such and I'd often write a lot and of course read. There is a very immortal feeling to the space that I haven't been back to since and a lot of now fantasy/odd memories of things spaces and time that never happened but didn't become unreal until 5-10 years later. Through the windows there was a feeling of vast desert. Bi polar isn't the only diagnosis and I suspect that stresses contributed to this.

[Quail]

I've suffered from a variety of mental health issues in the past - depression, anxiety issues, bulimia and other forms of self harm - and though I can identify what caused those problems and I have a fair amount of understanding of them, I am still not 100% well (and don't know whether I ever will be or whether being 100% well is possible for anyone). I do cope a lot better than I used to though.

Regarding medication, I've had citalopram, escitalopram and venlafaxine, none of which have really done anything other than turn me into a bit of a zombie. I've also had diazepam in the past, but now the doctor won't prescribe it and gave me propanolol (beta blockers) instead and I don't really think it does anything for me. I also have zopiclone to help me sleep because I have a lot of vivid, bad dreams so I don't feel rested when I wake up.

[cyu]

I have been diagnosed with Wilnutlysun Tucaptulists Disorder, and have been prescribed a regular dose of http://www.huxley.net/soma/somaquote.html

[La Comédie Noire]

Generalized anxiety disorder, depression, bi polar, PTSD from my protesting days, hypochondria. All I think are outward manifestations of my anxiety which has been a lot better since I quit drugs ad alcohol. There was one point where I doubted existence entirely.

Some people faint at the sight of blood, I faint at the sight of philosophy of mind. :(

[Os Cangaceiros]

I have been diagnosed with Wilnutlysun Tucaptulists Disorder, and have been prescribed a regular dose of http://www.huxley.net/soma/somaquote.html

"..there is always soma, delicious soma, half a gramme for a half-holiday, a gramme for a week-end, two grammes for a trip to the gorgeous East, three for a dark eternity on the moon..."

I like that quote.

There is actually a drug that's marketed under the brand name Soma, interestingly enough. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carisoprodol

[Ele'ill]

*oh hey edited post incorrectly that is awesome now all that is gone


anyways the web shows that psychotic depression matches a lot of the newer variances in my mood (that I had illustrated here previously) especially the excessive worrying off of the not pleasant up periods and always shitty down periods, I trust the internet no need to go to a doctor again

[Ceallach_the_Witch]

I mentioned this a while ago in the "pour your heart out" thread but whatever. I recently workerd up the courage to see a health professional type about my state of mind (after years of staring at tests on the internet) and it now seems certain that I suffer from depression and anxiety. It seems that we've been companions for years, thinking about how I've felt in the past, but it's been particularly exacerbated recently thanks to a degree of chronic back pain (which is really my own dumb fault because I should have gone to a doctors after falling down a flight of stairs but typical me - I thought "oh I wouldn't want to waste their time in case I'm not really hurt." There seems to be a seasonal link to how I feel (not surprisingly I suppose) although aside from the usual unhappiness associated with winter I usually find midsummer deeply depressing (it's around the time of my birthday and every year I find myself going through this ritual of hating myself for being the same loser I was last year and wondering why I can't enjoy the good weather like all my friends.) I'm also beginning to worry a bit about my drinking - whilst it's certainly not out of hand by student standards I'm aware that I consciously decide to drink excessively just to feel better - which isn't a terribly good idea.

also, I don't know if anyone else has felt like this - but when I feel good for a few days I find myself accusing myself of fraud - "you aren't depressed, you're just a miserable hypochondriac"

[La Comédie Noire]

I'm also beginning to worry a bit about my drinking - whilst it's certainly not out of hand by student standards I'm aware that I consciously decide to drink excessively just to feel better


Pro Tip: A lot of people don't discover they have a problem with alcohol till years later after they leave a environment where over indulgence is the norm.

I for instance thought it was perfectly normal to drink a 6 pack or more every other day and then a lot on weekends normal. Guess it wasn't so.


also, I don't know if anyone else has felt like this - but when I feel good for a few days I find myself accusing myself of fraud - "you aren't depressed, you're just a miserable hypochondriac"

I get that a lot. I also get worried that it won't last and I should be suspicious of good feelings.

[Sinister Intents]

At a young age I've been diagnosed with a large number of things ranging from ADD to ADHD to Schizophrenia, to Asperger's and so on. I've on so many different medications that have fucked me up further. Currently I've looked into it and I'm definitely someone with Aspergers and I definitely have Social Anxiety Disorder, I struggle with so much more and I wonder what I really have but my mental health is seriously compromised.

[Quail]

I'm also beginning to worry a bit about my drinking - whilst it's certainly not out of hand by student standards I'm aware that I consciously decide to drink excessively just to feel better - which isn't a terribly good idea.

When you're a student it is kind of hard to know what is a reasonable amount to drink, because it seems that loads of people drink to excess and everyone will kind of excuse or normalise it. So I'll hear someone talking about how they drank a bottle of wine last night and I'll think, well I only had half a bottle so I guess that's okay. But it kind of isn't okay to drink half a bottle of wine or so most nights and I know that I drink too much. My brain seems to be very good at rationalising unhealthy behaviour and denying it is a problem.


also, I don't know if anyone else has felt like this - but when I feel good for a few days I find myself accusing myself of fraud - "you aren't depressed, you're just a miserable hypochondriac"
I get this. I think it's true of most mental health problems that when you're having a good day you think, "Well I can't really be ill then, can I?" as though we expect our moods to be pretty much constant. Everyone has good days and bad days, even if you are also suffering with a mental health problem. I think another thing is, mental illnesses seem to try and convince us that they don't exist or they "aren't that bad" and generally involve a fair bit of denial. With hindsight now that I'm better, I can see that I was pretty ill but at the time I would think some really ridiculous things like "I'm not sick that often, I don't really have an eating disorder, this is just like having a stomach bug" which was not only denying the mental issues but also the physical danger I was putting my body in. Another thing I do a lot is see someone asking for treatment, start feeling better and then cancel all my appointments and wait for the next crash/low point before I make another one which I am pretty annoyed at myself about at the moment because I'm worried the mental health services think I'm just a time-waster.

[Ele'ill]

also, I don't know if anyone else has felt like this - but when I feel good for a few days I find myself accusing myself of fraud - "you aren't depressed, you're just a miserable hypochondriac"

I understand this but I have more of a problem with other people. If I meet up with people and I'm doing okay I wonder if they wonder if the past months or whatever have been me just avoiding them because I don't like them and there's usually an obvious distancing like they're keeping me at arms length and looking at me sideways. Also meeting people for the first time is pretty much a terrible thing because if i'm doing okay that day I know that things will become irreconcilably confusing at some point in the very near future- or I'm not doing okay and despite knowing that we should become good friends and stuff it never works out like that. It's a half lucid nightmare. It's like being trapped in a broken machine. When my thoughts are racing and I feel splintered all over the universe or when I am basically non-functioning depressed I've learned how to barely make small talk but I think it does more harm, people pick up on it and don't know how to take it so I've stopped bothering.

[Panda Tse Tung]

Recently had a psychosis, sort of still having issues with it. Their trying to figure out what caused it.
It was mostly manifested through paranoia. Which is not in any way the overcautiousness that many people refer to as 'paranoia'. Now i'm on drugs and things are going a bit better.