I need your help Revleft, very much

[Brosa Luxemburg]

Okay, I've looked online, asked around, etc. with no help or conflicting information.

I got a paraphernalia charge and am apart of MAP now (Marijuana Alternatives Program). There are a certain amount of drug tests, I've passed one.

SO I haven't smoked for about 2 months/ month and a half BESIDES the last two days (friday and saturday) after my drug test. I figured I wouldn't have another test for 20-30 days (as this form said) so I smoked, not a lot, these two days. Like 6 hits off of a bowl of mids, 2 or 3 bong rips from some dro, 2 hits of resin, and a hit from a blunt of mids over a 2 day period.

Turns out, I have a drug test 7 days from now (today is Sunday, I have it Saturday). I've been drinking a lot of water now and I have these USB detox pills (I heard these don't work though but i'm desperate). I've heard to buy cranberry juice and supplements, mix jelly and powerade, and a load of "home remedies" which i'm sure don't work.

Has anybody been in this situation or have ANY WORDS OF ADVICE AT ALL.

I am not fat, but I am bigger. I'm not too active but I do move around a lot during the day. I don't really know how to describe my metabolism. (I'm not sure what else you may need to know)

Please spare me the "why would you risk it blah blah blah" I wouldn't have done this if I would have known it wasn't scheduled, but random drug testing.

[Os Cangaceiros]

I'll just quote myself:



It depends on the individual, to a large extent. Different people metabolize THC at different speeds. If you're a woman or an overweight man then chances are it'll remain in your system longer than if you're someone with a very low body fat percentage and a high metabolism.

It also depends on your rate of use. If you've been smoking every single day for months, then I'm sorry to say that it's going to remain in your system for quite some time, esp. if you're getting tested by law enforcement.

The sad fact is that there is no magic potion that'll remove the THC from a sample. Chugging water won't help, that'll just dilute the sample to the point of being untestable, which automatically fails you if you're on probation. THC gets to your bladder from being stored in your fat, there's no way to get it out of there except maybe by vigorous exercise.

The good news is that it's for a job, so there's probably no one who wants to stare at your penis like when you're on probation/parole for drug charges. Just fill a condom with borrowed clean urine and tape it to your leg or something.

[Conscript]

THC isn't water soluble, so drinking alone won't do anything but dilute. It is fat soluble, so maybe exercise will help.

[WilliamGreen]

Hey there buddy, If you want to talk about some potentials you can pm me. I'd have to ask some personal questions like weight and body fat percentages, usage dates and amounts, which labs are testing, etc. but I can maybe help you know a bit more about your situation and the options available to you :)

[Brosa Luxemburg]

Thanks everybody. Anyone else have anything?

[redblackandgay]

Lemon juice, or vinegar if you can stomach it. It might be bullshit but that's an old standby for me, and its worked a few times. Whether the lemon juice was responsible for my passing I can't say for sure but my thinking is maybe the acid throws off the pH and maybe destroys/masks the THC metabolites. But I probably don't know what I'm talking about. Good luck friend :grin:

[Lobotomy]

I've heard that exercising a lot can help.

[The Jay]

Work out every day like your life depends on it, drink water and cranberry juice all day, and eat a lot.

[argeiphontes]

From NORML: http://www.ndci.org/sites/default/files/ndci/THC_Detection_Window_0.pdf
I guess some people can test negative in as little as 3-4 days.

This is a total guess and I have no connection to medicine, so please take it with a grain of salt, but:

I would exercise and eat very low fat (to secrete as much as possible and also to try to empty fat stores for step 2). Then, maybe 1 or 2 days before the test, stop the diet and exercise, and instead start a HIGH fat diet but still with carbs (trail mix with fruit and nuts or something like that) in addition to starting to drink until my urine was barely yellow at all and I was pissing a lot, to start clearing from the bloodstream.

The rationale, which is just a guess and could be totally bogus, is to reduce fatty acid breakdown between fat stores and the bloodstream. If you are low in fat, your body will break it down into the blood. If you don't eat enough carbs, though, you'll go into ketosis and start breaking down fat anyway. But extra fat in your diet should encourage the hormones that cause storage of fat and not secretion. Then again, THC entering and leaving fat cells could have nothing do with the mechanism for storing fat itself.

(Don't drink too much water while exercising, though, it's dangerous because of hyponatremia (low sodium concentration). If you have any symptoms of hyponatremia while exericising, and are NOT thirsty, do NOT drink. People can and do die thinking that they are dehydrated, but you'll almost never die from an hour or three of vigorous exercise without drinking. You're better off only drinking if thirsty while exercising. Please google the symptoms.)

Then, the day of the test I would keep eating the high fat diet and also try to dilute it with water (http://norml.org/legal/drug-testing/item/the-abcs-of-marijuana-and-drug-testing#Water) even more and take a B3 that morning for color.

Best of luck. Marijuana should be legal.

edit: I shouldn't say that the rationale could be bogus, I do know a bit about nutrition, but it might not be enough to work. We are always both breaking down and storing fat, just in different ratios overall.

[Decolonize The Left]

Work out every day like your life depends on it, drink water and cranberry juice all day, and eat a lot.

This. And relax - stress fucks your body up and won't help anything. You will pass that test. Be confident and calm.

[Yuppie Grinder]

I've heard working out actually makes it leave your body slower
diluting your piss with cranberry juice won't make show up diluted, my sister passed a piss test to get a job this way recently

[Yuppie Grinder]

Also, good luck, dude. I got way to many friends on papers, that shit blows.

[argeiphontes]

I've heard working out actually makes it leave your body slower

Too bad nobody is doing scientific studies on how to beat a THC test, I'd be a big fan ;)

[RedBen]

aside from NOT HITTING THE PIPE for long enough to clear your program, get someone to piss for you that day, put it in a small canister, a condom, take your pick. get the piss RIGHT BEFORE, you go in. put it in your crotch to keep it warm. a heat pack( a very SMALL one) would do you some good but keep a bit away from the piss so as not to overheat it. as far as i know, they test for drugs, some test for sex and some test the temp. just practice with it before hand and use a therm on the piss at the end of your practice run. out here they make you wait like 20 minutes so if you have someone else's pee, it's get too cool to pass the temp check, hence the heat pad(which will not feel good). piss should be within a few degress of the human body. 98.6 degrees F. i've had to do this for enough people who have passed. if they watch it physically leave your body, i don't know what to tell you.

[Os Cangaceiros]

well if you don't get a solution you can always do the gone missing trick for a few days.

Nope, no you can't. That's a terrible idea when the law is testing you.

[Stalinist Speaker]

Nope, no you can't. That's a terrible idea when the law is testing you.

yeah your probably right

[Os Cangaceiros]

aside from NOT HITTING THE PIPE for long enough to clear your program, get someone to piss for you that day, put it in a small canister, a condom, take your pick. get the piss RIGHT BEFORE, you go in. put it in your crotch to keep it warm. a heat pack( a very SMALL one) would do you some good but keep a bit away from the piss so as not to overheat it. as far as i know, they test for drugs, some test for sex and some test the temp. just practice with it before hand and use a therm on the piss at the end of your practice run. out here they make you wait like 20 minutes so if you have someone else's pee, it's get too cool to pass the temp check, hence the heat pad(which will not feel good). piss should be within a few degress of the human body. 98.6 degrees F. i've had to do this for enough people who have passed. if they watch it physically leave your body, i don't know what to tell you.

I don't know what BL's situation is, but when I was on probation they were pretty damn thorough about making sure you didn't take a fake dick or something in there with you. The "bathroom" that you went in was the size of a closet, with a urinal and two mirrors posed at 45 degree angles away from the urinal so they could "make sure it's you", and believe me, they did. They'd micromanage that shit down to giving you individual instructions in regards to the piss cup and when they thought you'd filled it enough, then they'd tell you to flush the urinal and come out. :rolleyes: It's never easy to get the ol' bladder working when someone's watching you like that.

[RedBen]

I don't know what BL's situation is, but when I was on probation they were pretty damn thorough about making sure you didn't take a fake dick or something in there with you. The "bathroom" that you went in was the size of a closet, with a urinal and two mirrors posed at 45 degree angles away from the urinal so they could "make sure it's you", and believe me, they did. They'd micromanage that shit down to giving you individual instructions in regards to the piss cup and when they thought you'd filled it enough, then they'd tell you to flush the urinal and come out. :rolleyes: It's never easy to get the ol' bladder working when someone's watching you like that.
which is why i said unless they watch it physically leave your body. the army watched me pee before my discharge. it sucked.

[Alan OldStudent]

Best of luck to you, Comrade Brosa. I don't have any advice to give, especially as I am a teetotaller. Of course, I am against anti-pot laws.

If it's not too personal, what jurisdiction are you in and what happens if you get popped?

Regards,

Alan OldStudent
The unexamined life is not worth living--Socrates

[Einkarl]

I sure hope you pass Comrade. I don't have anything to say that hasn't been said already.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

do some heavy exercise and relax with a fatty. oh, wait...

[the debater]

I'm not even sure if this is a valid suggestion or not.... but maybe it would behoove you to go to a sauna or something similar to "sweat out" all the "toxins" in your body? I've heard before that some Native Americans believed that sweating vigorously would help cleanse their bodies of any impurities. I don't know for sure about this however, so definitely keep researching any other solutions out there.