[trigger warning] Hateful letter bashing an autistic boy and his Mother

[Bostana]

The family of a son living with severe autism received an incredibly disturbing letter that's allegedly from one of their neighbors, and the entire community is still reeling from the shock. The letter, signed only by "one pissed off mother!!!!!," horrifically criticizes Newcastle, Ontario, resident Karla Begley for being "entitled" enough to let her "idiot" son go outside.

Here is the link to the full story:
http://now.msn.com/letter-targeting-autistic-boy-causes-outrage?ocid=ansnowex
And the actual letter:
https://twitter.com/lennonandmaisy/status/369301618518290434/photo/1

[Art Vandelay]

This just made me really sad. :( People can be so fucked up and mean. Unfortunately this is a large problem when it comes to people with mental disabilities, especially when group homes are attempted to be set up. I really hope they track down who it was who wrote the letter, so she can be outed and it can be known that the only animal in that neighborhood is the one with the combination of gull and cowardice to send an anonymous letter to a mother, telling her to euthanize their child.

[Fourth Internationalist]

What is wrong with people? Isn't the creature that wrote that letter a mom? I mean, if I saw a child that was "so terrible" I'd feel I'd want to help the mother who works hard to raise the child, not feel bad for myself for getting a little bit annoyed by a child with autism, let alone writing such vile words.

[Anti-Traditional]

So many people in the world are absolute bastards and it ain't just the bourgeoisie and we can't just put it down to Capitalism. It makes me wonder is there any point in being a socialist and keeping up with politics and hoping for the best, why not just say ''fuck the world I'm going to bed...'' :(

[Art Vandelay]

So many people in the world are absolute bastards and it ain't just the bourgeoisie and we can't just put it down to Capitalism. It makes me wonder is there any point in being a socialist and keeping up with politics and hoping for the best, why not just say ''fuck the world I'm going to bed...'' :(

Because people deserve better then that from us and as Marxists we have the tools to understand why reactionary and despicable convictions are so prevalent in society.

[Dagoth Ur]

lolwow it's been a while since I've seen something on the Internet that shocked me. What a piece of trash.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

scum

[Sinister Cultural Marxist]

I would find the letter offensive if it wasn't so pathetic. A mother wrote that ... I feel sorry for her kid. Note how she says "a neighborhood like this" - a neighborhood like what? For rich NIMBY yuppie assholes who think that they're too privileged to live around people who have disabilities? And she has the nerve to call the mother of the autistic child selfish/entitled

[Quail]

If the autistic boy is scaring her children, she should explain to her children what autism is. Wow, though. It's hard to imagine any mother telling another that her child should be euthanised though... does she have no capacity for empathy?

It kind of made me think of this (http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/16/children-disabilities-special-needs-mumsnet-campaign?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487) article. My son doesn't have a disability but when he's acting up people glare at me as if to say, "You terrible mother, can't you make him stop?" so I imagine the reaction from other people must be much worse for parents of autistic children.

[Sperm-Doll Setsuna]

This makes me think of some idiot in one of those disgusting "Cure Autism" documentaries who said she considered driving her car into the lake/ocean and taking her son with her because it was "so frustrating". No matter how frustrating, that's sociopathic, and who the fuck feels that way about their own fucking kid? And who the fuck thinks her reasoning is sensible? Those bastards need to have their kids taken from them.

They wanted to set up a group home in town, and some people were using strange excuses for it not to be in their neighbourhood, saying things like "It could be converted to a drug-rehab home hurr" like that somehow made their opposition better... Ughh,

[Jimmie Higgins]

So many people in the world are absolute bastards and it ain't just the bourgeoisie and we can't just put it down to Capitalism. It makes me wonder is there any point in being a socialist and keeping up with politics and hoping for the best, why not just say ''fuck the world I'm going to bed...'' :(

Well I think we actually could attribute these kinds of attitudes to capitalism indirectly because of atomization of social responcibilities and alienation. This isn't to say that people are without blame for how they respond in various situations (or that this person isn't acting monsterous in this instance), but I think it isn't that some people are just assholes in isolation from how society operates.

Capitalism can't handle issues of people who can not be laborers in capitalism and generally government just try and hide them - either in institutions or in the family unit. People are also necissarily stigmatized to justify either them being warehoused in awful institutions or to absolve the state from responcibility for providing a full life for people who have been injured or were born unable to be "productive" for capitalism. So this asshole's anexieties due to the social stigmas more broadly in society manifest in demanding that the person's family "control" the child.

Even in other class societies, because there wasn't the same kinds of demand on labor, many people who are considered "disabled" today lived in communities, played a role, and had fuller lives than at times under capitalism by being able to contribute to peasant production as much as they could or playing some other role. It wasn't universally pleasant, just not as systematically neglectful as under capitalism as far as I can tell.

So under a society that doesn't need to squeeze the maximum amount of labor out of us, where all people are able to live as fully as they subjectivly can, where people who need some guidance are not shut away but actually cared for when they need it, then autism or anything else doesn't need to be a hidden secret (and therefore feared) or stigmatized or whatnot.

[Domela Nieuwenhuis]

What is wrong with people? Isn't the creature that wrote that letter a mom? I mean, if I saw a child that was "so terrible" I'd feel I'd want to help the mother who works hard to raise the child, not feel bad for myself for getting a little bit annoyed by a child with autism, let alone writing such vile words.

Well...there are some parents that don't even bother raising their kids.
Saw it on the beach: throwing wet sand at other childeren (including mine; big mistake) while they were just sitting there looking. So i told them they shouldn't do that.
I kind of expected at least a mad look from the parents, but no...just the friendly "hi"-nod.

Are you fucking me!? Didn't you see what your kids did? Do you even bother?
Got the answer pretty quick. Dad was guzzeling beer down it's throat, mom smoking packs at a time, both doing...well, nothing further actually.
One kid comes over, asks his dad to come play ball with him, know what the dad said?
"Not now, i'm busy."

Poof, gone education, gone good example. Those kids are growing up to be the same assholes as their dad.
I feel sorry for them.

[Zanthorus]

This makes me think of some idiot in one of those disgusting "Cure Autism" documentaries who said she considered driving her car into the lake/ocean and taking her son with her because it was "so frustrating".

I don't know if you're misremembering, but the famous case I remember was this woman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7NTfZzS9b8&list=TLMPL6vsfQuOs) who claimed that she would have driven off the George Washington Bridge with her autistic daughter but for the fact that she had a 'normal' child.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

my older brother is severely autistic. we used to get a lot of 'stares' when out in public and i used to get into a lot of trouble as a result of lashing out at people who stared or whispered behind our back. i got arrested for hitting a security guard in the supermarket for it.

as i matured, i realized that ignorance is the key issue. people aren't properly educated about disabled people and, as such, it isn't entirely their fault when they don't know how to deal with people that are disabled.

this doesn't pardon those ignorant people, but it helps us to understand why they are the way they are. as communists, we should aim to facilitate our disabled brothers and sisters into our society and we should adequately educate people so that they understand other peoples' impairments and also how to use their position to ensure that these people can function comfortably in our society, without discrimination or difficulty.

[The Feral Underclass]

This should really come with a trigger warning. Anyone who has suffered disableist abuse may be affected by the content of this thread. Especially that letter.

You know, for some unknown reason the depth of people's inhumanity never ceases to surprise me. The kind of hatred that inspires someone to write a letter like this; the deep sense of paranoia and insecurity in the cowardice of sending it anonymously is, in my view, indicative of the kind of attitudes that lead to the quiet, tacit support for individuals and regimes who perpetrate brutality against those they think are unworthy or inferior.

For someone to be so self-involved, selfish and hateful that they felt compelled to put these words down on paper just astounds me.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

agree with tat on the trigger warning.

[Jimmie Higgins]

this doesn't pardon those ignorant people, but it helps us to understand why they are the way they are. as communists, we should aim to facilitate our disabled brothers and sisters into our society and we should adequately educate people so that they understand other peoples' impairments and also how to use their position to ensure that these people can function comfortably in our society, without discrimination or difficulty.

Yes and when it's possible we should encourage people to take leadership educate the public themselves. It's not always easy or possible - for anyone - but when possible I think this goes the furthest in challenging the common ideas and stigmas.

Maybe this story of a physical disability occupation in the 1930s can serve as an antidote to the misanthropy-inducing shittyness of the letter quoted in the OP:


For one particular group of disabled workers living in New York City, such blatant discrimination on the part of the putatively progressive Roosevelt administration was simply too much to endure passively. On May 29, 1935, six of these individuals presented at the local office of the Emergency Relief Bureau (ERB) and demanded equal access to jobs under the new federal relief program. When told they did not qualify, being “unemployable,” they demanded to speak with the ERB director, Oswald Knauth. When Knauth refused, they began a sit-in right then and there, initiating an indefinite occupation of the ERB office.3
...
The occupation, the protests, the trial and its aftermath, all served to significantly propel the group’s public notoriety. They had attracted a sizable number of adherents and supporters to their movement and had established themselves as serious fighters. On this basis, they decided to formally organize on a permanent basis. They adopted the name, the League of the Physically Handicapped (LPH).

People had never before seen anything quite like the League. They completely defied the prevailing one-dimensional image of disabled people as pitiful or powerless. They demanded respect and equality, and in collectively fighting back against their oppression, had come to construct a new identity for themselves that rejected their supposed inferiority. This was reflected in the slogans they used at protests, such as, “We don’t want tin cups. We want jobs,” “We are lame but we can work,” and, “Handicapped workers must live, give us jobs.”9

As one League member, Florence Haskell, later recalled, “You have to understand that among our people, they were self-conscious about their physical disabilities.. . . They didn’t like being stared at. They didn’t want to be looked at. . . I think [the protests] not only gave us jobs, but it gave us dignity, and a sense of, ‘We are people too.’”10


http://isreview.org/issue/90/pioneers-fight-disability-rights

[RedMaterialist]

So many people in the world are absolute bastards and it ain't just the bourgeoisie and we can't just put it down to Capitalism. It makes me wonder is there any point in being a socialist and keeping up with politics and hoping for the best, why not just say ''fuck the world I'm going to bed...'' :(

You absolutely can put it down to capitalism. People become individualized in the extreme, they become competing antagonists, and anti-social. As in anti-socialism. As Margaret Thatcher said in celebrating the victory of capitalism: "There is no society, only individuals and the family." The Canadian mother (if she was a mother) saw the autistic child as an alien, dangerous "other," because she, the mother, had already herself become alienated from not only herself but society. On a more concrete level she probably saw the autistic child as a direct threat to her "property" value. The market value of her house was far more important to her than the well-being of an autistic child.

[Decolonize The Left]

This is terrible, but I guess I immediately thought about how this happens on the internet everyday. The fact that it was an anonymous letter is interesting because, in a sense, it's rather out-dated.

[Sperm-Doll Setsuna]

I don't know if you're misremembering, but the famous case I remember was this woman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7NTfZzS9b8&list=TLMPL6vsfQuOs) who claimed that she would have driven off the George Washington Bridge with her autistic daughter but for the fact that she had a 'normal' child.

Ah, that is probably the one. (I saw the quote recounted differently, but that seems to be the right one.) That is sickening.

[Nemo]

The multiple exclamation and question marks really add to the whole "ignorant gobshite" effect.

[RedBen]

i'd have that letter dusted for prints. someone in that neighborhood's door and mailbox has those prints... just sayin'

[Jimmie Higgins]

i'd have that letter dusted for prints. someone in that neighborhood's door and mailbox has those prints... just sayin'Or they could find some of their not-callously evil neighbors get together and have a neighborhood block party for the kid to isolate and shame whoever did that and allow a chance for other neighbors and their kids to actually interact and learn that there's nothing to fear (except for anonymous threatening assholes).

The neighbor did write it anonymously, so that indicates that they at least realize that saying that would not be acceptable. So all the block getting together over this would be a strong signal of their isolation and that that shit is unacceptable and if they have a problem with the kid, it's their fucking problem and they can fuck-off.

[RedBen]

Or they could find some of their not-callously evil neighbors get together and have a neighborhood block party for the kid to isolate and shame whoever did that and allow a chance for other neighbors and their kids to actually interact and learn that there's nothing to fear (except for anonymous threatening assholes).

The neighbor did write it anonymously, so that indicates that they at least realize that saying that would not be acceptable. So all the block getting together over this would be a strong signal of their isolation and that that shit is unacceptable and if they have a problem with the kid, it's their fucking problem and they can fuck-off.
good point. i saw a wheel chair bound man who was mentally challenged on the bus. he was unable to speak and could hardly operate his motorized chair, he was trying to go to the dmv. he was moaning and noone on the bus could understand him but half the bus was trying to figure out what he needed, lo and behold, some jag off starts making fun of him and making it out like the man was faking it. that same half the bus put kicked him off of the bus, at the end of the situation, everyone got him to the dmv. that restored a little of my faith in humanity.

[Jimmie Higgins]

good point. i saw a wheel chair bound man who was mentally challenged on the bus. he was unable to speak and could hardly operate his motorized chair, he was trying to go to the dmv. he was moaning and noone on the bus could understand him but half the bus was trying to figure out what he needed, lo and behold, some jag off starts making fun of him and making it out like the man was faking it. that same half the bus put kicked him off of the bus, at the end of the situation, everyone got him to the dmv. that restored a little of my faith in humanity.lol. fantastic. Sometimes we can make shaming work for us for a change!

[Art Vandelay]

Or they could find some of their not-callously evil neighbors get together and have a neighborhood block party for the kid to isolate and shame whoever did that and allow a chance for other neighbors and their kids to actually interact and learn that there's nothing to fear (except for anonymous threatening assholes).

The neighbor did write it anonymously, so that indicates that they at least realize that saying that would not be acceptable. So all the block getting together over this would be a strong signal of their isolation and that that shit is unacceptable and if they have a problem with the kid, it's their fucking problem and they can fuck-off.

This. Its a tactic that has been used in the past. Alot of times communities have issues with allowing group homes into their neighborhoods, the general sentiment is usually a whole host of reactionary garbage (ie: my kids walk by that house to school, my property value is going to go down, lets get these people help but not in this neighborhood, etc...), but there can be ways to flip the situation to a positive. For example in the past when group homes have been set up, especially in communities with resistance, one tactic is to hold an open house after everyone is settled in, invite local media and everyone in the neighborhood, to show that they have nothing to be afraid of. I doubt anyone could leave a situation like that with a negative perception of people with disabilities, unless they came into with a completely closed mind and pre-conceived notions. A bloc party would be a similarly good idea.

[Domela Nieuwenhuis]

This. Its a tactic that has been used in the past. Alot of times communities have issues with allowing group homes into their neighborhoods, the general sentiment is usually a whole host of reactionary garbage (ie: my kids walk by that house to school, my property value is going to go down, lets get these people help but not in this neighborhood, etc...), but there can be ways to flip the situation to a positive. For example in the past when group homes have been set up, especially in communities with resistance, one tactic is to hold an open house after everyone is settled in, invite local media and everyone in the neighborhood, to show that they have nothing to be afraid of. I doubt anyone could leave a situation like that with a negative perception of people with disabilities, unless they came into with a completely closed mind and pre-conceived notions. A bloc party would be a similarly good idea.

I've worked in a sort of village within the town lived back then (an was born in). It was a community full of people, mostly with down-syndrome. I worked in the gardening, but still, you see them all the time. I can still remember Hugo, who worked with us. Always chewing a complete pack of gum at once (otherwise he'd grind his teeth to the flesh). Dude was funny. I came there a lot as a child (swimming, petting-zoo walks etc.) Not once has there been one moment where we were in danger, scared or anything.

No, they generally are fun to be around. They're bassically big kids. Kids can be fun. Plus they have a good mood way more often then kids do.

Problem with me is, i can't deal with people very good. I suck in small talk, but that counts with every living person. Even kids. If i don't know you, it's really weird for me talking to you. So i avoid people in general. So them too bassically.

[Ocean Seal]

The answer to what is wrong with people lies with capitalism. Capitalism makes us see ourselves as instruments in production, and if we are rusty, if our master's don't love, then we are worth nothing. No one will love us, if we don't work. No one will hire us if we are worthless and disabled. No, his body parts are worth money though. They should be sold because they as commodities are worth more money than he can make.

[Comrade Jacob]

That do we expect from cowardly scum that don't dare to show their name on the letter?

[Hiero]

You know, for some unknown reason the depth of people's inhumanity never ceases to surprise me. The kind of hatred that inspires someone to write a letter like this; the deep sense of paranoia and insecurity in the cowardice of sending it anonymously is, in my view, indicative of the kind of attitudes that lead to the quiet, tacit support for individuals and regimes who perpetrate brutality against those they think are unworthy or inferior.

You can see it also in the form of criticism against the 'underclass' or 'welfare dependent'. Thoose who have been for historical reason locked out of employment and education face a snide criticism and the height of the barbarity is revealed in the form of sarcastic jokes about forced sterilisation. Iit would be worrying to see the formation of party that could harness these attitudes into a powerful movement.

[Orange Juche]

I don't think people quite realize on what an overwhelming scale ableism exists in our society.

[Tolstoy]

Ablleism and discrimination in our community is such a major issue, to the point of bordering on social engineering.

My city used to have a high school specialized for the needs of special-needs students, equipped with nurturing teachers and even a therapy pool, before it was closed down during a spate of budget cuts.

Meanhwile the cities "gifted program", a program filled with rich, entitled snots to whom I used to belong, before leaving to to my frustration with all of them never faces cuts of any kind at all, in spite of the program showing obvious issues (there was only one black gifted program graduating senior last year. Every year, the board discusses building this program its own school, so the "gifted children" can get away from Auburn High School (a poorer local high school where the program is currently located within) so that gifted children can grow up without the all too dangerous influence of minorities.

Disableism is a major problem within our society and believe it or not, I hear similar stuff to that letter in my high school all the time. Theres even been some controverseys over Special Ed Aids bullying students in the news lately.

Not to toot my own horn, but I wrote an editorial on this
http://slingshot.tao.ca/issue.html?0113017

[TaylorS]

This has this autistic person's jimmies rustled. How cruel people can be disgusts me. And these same assholes accuse us for lacking empathy??? :mad:

[TaylorS]

Yes and when it's possible we should encourage people to take leadership educate the public themselves. It's not always easy or possible - for anyone - but when possible I think this goes the furthest in challenging the common ideas and stigmas.

Maybe this story of a physical disability occupation in the 1930s can serve as an antidote to the misanthropy-inducing shittyness of the letter quoted in the OP:



http://isreview.org/issue/90/pioneers-fight-disability-rights
The saddest part of that is that FDR was physically disabled, himself. :(

[TaylorS]

On a more concrete level she probably saw the autistic child as a direct threat to her "property" value. The market value of her house was far more important to her than the well-being of an autistic child. This explains the nasty behavior of a lot of "Middle Class" suburbanites. It seems all they care about is local land values. Hence the HOAs that punish residents that don't adhere to the land value obsession.

It's a big reason for my utter hatred for Suburbia, a long with the environmental and sociological damage it causes.

[TaylorS]

This. Its a tactic that has been used in the past. Alot of times communities have issues with allowing group homes into their neighborhoods, the general sentiment is usually a whole host of reactionary garbage (ie: my kids walk by that house to school, my property value is going to go down, lets get these people help but not in this neighborhood, etc...), but there can be ways to flip the situation to a positive. For example in the past when group homes have been set up, especially in communities with resistance, one tactic is to hold an open house after everyone is settled in, invite local media and everyone in the neighborhood, to show that they have nothing to be afraid of. I doubt anyone could leave a situation like that with a negative perception of people with disabilities, unless they came into with a completely closed mind and pre-conceived notions. A bloc party would be a similarly good idea.

Fortunately my area seems to be rather friendly to the disabled, we have tons of group homes here. Minnesota is one of the few states that actively supported ways to integrate disabled and mentally ill people into the local community after the closure of the state mental asylums.

[TaylorS]

I've worked in a sort of village within the town lived back then (an was born in). It was a community full of people, mostly with down-syndrome. I worked in the gardening, but still, you see them all the time. I can still remember Hugo, who worked with us. Always chewing a complete pack of gum at once (otherwise he'd grind his teeth to the flesh). Dude was funny. I came there a lot as a child (swimming, petting-zoo walks etc.) Not once has there been one moment where we were in danger, scared or anything.

No, they generally are fun to be around. They're bassically big kids. Kids can be fun. Plus they have a good mood way more often then kids do.

Problem with me is, i can't deal with people very good. I suck in small talk, but that counts with every living person. Even kids. If i don't know you, it's really weird for me talking to you. So i avoid people in general. So them too bassically.I have never met a person with Down's Syndrome who ISNT'T an easy-going, funny, kind goofball! :)

[TaylorS]

You can see it also in the form of criticism against the 'underclass' or 'welfare dependent'. Thoose who have been for historical reason locked out of employment and education face a snide criticism and the height of the barbarity is revealed in the form of sarcastic jokes about forced sterilisation. Iit would be worrying to see the formation of party that could harness these attitudes into a powerful movement.

I get SSI because of my Asperger's and one thing I have discovered is to never mention on most message boards that I get government assistance, because I always end up with a right-wing asshole harassing and stalking me.

[Firebrand]

Every day I look at my little brother i'm terrified of what people like this will do to him. It takes a very special sort of cruelty to target someone who can't defend themselves. Not just nastiness but cowardice on the most fundamental level. I think a big part of it is that these people resent autistic people. Because Autistic people aren't too good at understanding the unwritten rules of society that these people define themselves by. It's all about how neatly they can fit the image of what they're supposed to be (in this case the perfect suburban housewife.) They make themselves miserable trying to fulfill an impossible ideal so when they see someone getting along with their lives perfectly happily without even being aware of the directive to strive for that ideal, it makes them angry on a deep irrational level, causing them to lash out with petty justifications like "they scare my kids, or they lower the house prices".
Of all the forms of discrimination I honestly believe this is the most brutal, and the most unforgivable. There can be no justification for being cruel to someone who can't defend themselves.