Is anyone else kind of intimidated by their parents?

[Os Cangaceiros]

By "intimidated", I mean intimidated by some of the things they've done with their lives, not intimidated as in abuse or anything like that...

When my parents were my age, they moved thousands of miles away from their home town to a place where they knew no one, and had no money, and became very successful. They seem to know everyone around here and are very well respected in the industry that they're in.

My dad is some sort of genius with engines and mechanical things, he can pretty much fix any sort of engine, either automotive or maritime, plus the motherfucker builds boats and welds in his spare time...it struck me today when I was looking at some 30+ foot monstrosity constructed out of fiberglass, wood and aluminum that I had helped build, and he said "and to think it all started with a drawing I did in a notebook!"

My mom is kind of an impressive individual too, in a different sort of way. She's super intense & very politically involved and has butted heads with people her entire life, she's been beaten up over it and has made a lot of enemies. All my friends have told me at one point or another that they're a little scared of her. But she has a steel spine and does not back down from her principles, and I've always admired that.

Sometimes I think that I'm kind of a failure in the light of all this, that my life hasn't really amounted to all that much and I'm kind of an embarrassment...they were already doing tons of shit when they were my age, and with much less resources than I have today, and it sometimes seems like I can barely feed myself. They don't mention this to me but I kind of get the feeling that the underlying disappointed sentiment is there, none-the-less. Can anyone else relate to this?

[#FF0000]

I feel that way, sometimes. My parents were way, way cooler when they were my age than I am now, but a lot of that is because they lived in cool cities in the 1970's while I am living in the woods.

So it's their fault really. I could have been cool. Could have been.

[bcbm]

i feel you to an extent. when my parents were my age they were married, had college degrees, were starting careers, etc. i feel like a lot of that stuff just isn't possible for a lot of people in our generation though. sure some people still do it, or at least a semblance of it, but overall i think it is a lot harder for us to get established.

and don't sell yourself short either, i know you have done plenty of cool shit. or at least i would classify taking rad trips across the country and the world as pretty rad. i know i have done a lot of stuff my parents wouldn't have dreamed of.

also they are more or less total failures now, or at least my dad is, so.

[The Feral Underclass]

Failure is a social construct predicated on bourgeois values.

Embrace failure as a revolutionary act.

[A Revolutionary Tool]

Not even close. My mom is one of those people who has been fearful her whole life to challenge anything even though she knows things are wrong. "Ryan, aren't you scared of losing your job if you protest, of getting arrested." I love her but it's very aggravating.

Father is a ex-meth head alcoholic who's been in and out of prison my whole life. Taught me how to fight and stand up for myself. He's been sober for a couple years now, now he's a religious fanatic though, it's what keeps him sane I guess but I don't know how sane you could be thinking Jesus is coming any day now living in the end times and shit. Love him too though.

I think my parents are more intimidated by me, I know my mom is.

[synthesis]

In a political sense, definitely. My dad worked extensively with the Black Panthers in Philly during the 70's and I'm pretty sure my mom played at least a somewhat significant role in planning the occupation of the president's office of her university. I know for sure my dad has an FBI intel file on him from back then, not sure about my mom.

In a personal sense? No, I wouldn't say so. In the U.S., I strongly believe that our generation is bound to be, on average, less "successful" than our parents, because the West doesn't make anything any more. All the high-wage manufacturing jobs are dissipating. The ball is going into China's court now, IMO. Of course, it's impossible for any communist to actually complain about this, because we're aligned with the international working class, not our national proletariat, but in my opinion it doesn't make sense to compare ourselves with our parents' generation; we live in very different times.

For example, they were much more likely to get snatched up for salaried jobs right out of college, whereas when younger people go to college now, they're more likely to have to take minimum wage jobs to pay back their student loans, and to become focused on obtaining higher wages as opposed to a salaried, professional job. That's a small part of the picture, but it's what gets reported on the most, so it sticks out the most as an example of the changing times.

[Consistent.Surprise]

My fathers accomplishments, yes. Phd in microbiology by my age & was teaching. He's extremely intelligent & most likely Asperger's.

Otherwise? Nope. I have a MLIS, want another masters & a Phd, have lived all over, refuse to sit down & shut up, etc. Basically, even though my mother hates it, I am the woman she raised me to be. I'm also happier with myself than she has ever been with herself. Sounds horrible to say but her behavior expresses it clearly.

[Admiral Swagmeister G-Funk]

i read somewhere that we're one of the only generations to be jealous of our parents' generation.

certainly true with me: my mum used to drink in the same pub as madness, lived with one of the pogues and knew a load of punk/post-punk rockers just through the bars she used to drink in. funnily enough, i drink in many of the same bars now. my dad saw frank zappa, pink floyd, captain beefheart, saw eraserhead when it was released in cinemas whilst on acid and studied art amongst some of the most weird and wonderful.

i grew up with people who want to be joey essex

[Sentinel]

Definitely. Both parents are/were academics (translator education, dad spoke latin and shit etc) - and I'm a worker with no formal education at all.

Used to be in a political sense too, but at this point I'd say my level of activism and theoretical knowledge is at least equal with that my parents when they were young, if not higher. :cool:

Dad has passed away, my mom is still a leftist, contributes economically but not active.

[The Douche]

My parents are pretty successful, they managed to retire, sold the house I grew up in, moved to the coast of south Carolina, bought and paid for a condo/townhouse, they saved (obviously), and eventually my dad will collect a pension because he was a union worker. (he was also a small business owner, but that got all fucked up and he went back to union work)

When my pops was my age he had a college degree and was working a union job.


I don't care, I don't want what they have. Yes, if I wanted suburban comfort then I would be intimidated by what they have achieved (or what my cousins, just a few years older than me are accomplishing) but that's not what I want, so it doesn't really bother me.

Obviously it makes me sad that parents seem to be more or less embarrassed by me, that I am the black sheep of the family or whatever, or that when they describe me to people they talk about my military service (some which is quite over and done with by this point), and nothing else. But oh well, what can you do? People are just going to be who they are.

If took those goals seriously, like they did, I'm sure I could have accomplished them, so I don't really feel like I have failed or let anybody down. I made the choices I wanted to make. (and when I did make choices for other people or from social pressure, they ended up being a really fucking bad idea)

[Quail]

I don't really feel intimidated by what my parents achieved at my age - in fact I think I did pretty fucking well to graduate with a good maths degree while I was bringing up a small child and I don't know if they always appreciate how much of an achievement that actually is.

I often feel as though they disapprove of my, I suppose, ideals and values, especially when it comes to stuff like education and work. I want to stay on at university and hopefully do a PhD, mostly because I am really passionate about algebra and I think it would be really cool to work on a problem and make my own little contribution to the pool of knowledge. I get the feeling my parents think that would be a bit of a waste of time if I didn't get into a really high-paid job afterwards, and whenever careers or whatever comes up they're very money-focussed. Personally, if I can do something that I enjoy, I don't mind if I only ever earn an "average" salary. I don't want want to get a job "because it pays well." As long as I have enough money to live on, I'm fine. I don't buy loads of crap so I don't need a large income, especially if my partner is also earning money.

[Hiero]

By "intimidated", I mean intimidated by some of the things they've done with their lives, not intimidated as in abuse or anything like that...

When my parents were my age, they moved thousands of miles away from their home town to a place where they knew no one, and had no money, and became very successful. They seem to know everyone around here and are very well respected in the industry that they're in.

My dad is some sort of genius with engines and mechanical things, he can pretty much fix any sort of engine, either automotive or maritime, plus the motherfucker builds boats and welds in his spare time...it struck me today when I was looking at some 30+ foot monstrosity constructed out of fiberglass, wood and aluminum that I had helped build, and he said "and to think it all started with a drawing I did in a notebook!"

My mom is kind of an impressive individual too, in a different sort of way. She's super intense & very politically involved and has butted heads with people her entire life, she's been beaten up over it and has made a lot of enemies. All my friends have told me at one point or another that they're a little scared of her. But she has a steel spine and does not back down from her principles, and I've always admired that.

Sometimes I think that I'm kind of a failure in the light of all this, that my life hasn't really amounted to all that much and I'm kind of an embarrassment...they were already doing tons of shit when they were my age, and with much less resources than I have today, and it sometimes seems like I can barely feed myself. They don't mention this to me but I kind of get the feeling that the underlying disappointed sentiment is there, none-the-less. Can anyone else relate to this?

Your dad is old economy Steve.

The opportunities have changed a lot since our parents times. I have gone further in education and other cultural opportunities than my parents, but I will be decades behind in terms of economic success and stability.

[Igor]

more by my grandparents, especially by my paternal grandfather (who died in 2001 though)

i mean all of them endured ww2 very vividly having lived in the very east of finland then, some were even old enough to remember (quite vaguely) the civil war of 1918. growing up they lived notably more austere and tough lives than i or my parents could really even fathom as kids and were a lot more 'self-made' in everything they ever did and the amount of things they saw during their lifetimes feels kinda surreal to me. like, my grandfather was my age, 20, in fucking 1932. hitler's rise to power was topical when he was my age, and this is a person who was politically very active in trade union circles in the rigidly right-wing 1930s finland.

like you can't really not be underwhelmed by that, and feeling a bit sheltered by their hardships even if your life hasn't really been that

[Ace High]

Oh hell yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah my parents were married at my age, lived on their own, all that. I do kind of feel like a failure. I know that it is only a feeling of failure relative to the West and the stupid Western "morals", but society doesn't see it that way. So yes, I understand :grin:

[TheGodlessUtopian]

No, we all develop at our own pace. Seeing as how my parents never earned a great deal and struggled their whole life I do not feel intimidated: I feel the need to surpass them and become something "more" then them (hence why I am wasting all that money I don't have to go to college).

Other "intimidation" though... some years ago my mother voiced racist comments about Black people and Jews (I think) when we were watching a history channel show about the rise of White power groups. She hasn't voiced anything since then but I will always remember that moment as a "whoa... didn't see that coming from dear old mum".

[Brutus]

My dad and mum are civil servants. Enough said.

[G4b3n]

My parents were both working class, my dad was an electrician with trade school education and my mom a waitress. I am currently a history major at a respected university on a full ride scholarship, so I did not feel intimidated in a bourgeois sense. Though I feel less adequate in a social sense, they helped so many people and did a so much good with what they had.

[Hermes]

I'm intimidated quite a lot, by both my parents, for different reasons.

My dad knows how to do carpentry work, basic electrical work, plumbing, web design, computer hardware, etc. Anything he wants to know how to do, he learns, and learns well. I'm terrible with my hands, and knowledge like that seems to slip through so easily for me.

My mother is an English major who was always a perfect student, can recite quotes from books that she read ~10 years ago, has the second best reading comprehension of anyone I know, easily. I only ever got average or below average grades, and left my high school the second day of senior year because of anxiety issues.

From a 'political' perspective, their views don't really align. From a 'personal' perspective, I guess I don't have a lot to be envious about. My mother works at a low-paid job at a private school, my dad is a bus driver who's going back to school, for the second time, to try and get a better job.

Depressing for me all around, I guess.

[The Feral Underclass]

My mother is the Duchess of Devonshire.

[Omsk]

My grandparents were in a KZ (Konzentrationslager)at my age, so i really can't complain, my life is simply easier. Also, i don't accept the category "Successful" .

[Landsharks eat metal]

No. Sure they're both successful and enjoy their jobs, but I definitely don't feel intimidated by that.
My dad is a lameass fucker who feels the need to make fun of his 20 year old son to make himself feel better about the fact that he has always followed the rules and let others tell him who to be in his pathetic life, and my mother is too scared to do or say anything that people will be upset by or disagree with.

[Hit The North]

My mother is the Duchess of Devonshire.

Mine was the Duchess of Devonshire Green.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShHQ67y33m1EGo4TtTZzmhJ6E7fUYvp Q5nCVrwe1ZmVBrf7YI5Tw

[Comrade Jacob]

I was as a young child but then I grew...

[Goblin]

When my dad was 13, he and a friend went to this dealers house to score some weed. The dealer asked my dad and his friend to come follow him into his bedroom to "test the stuff" before buying it. My father declined, but his friend followed the dealer. After waiting for his friend and the dealer for about 10 minutes, my dad decided to enter the dealers bedroom. There he saw his friend giving the dealer a blow job (the dealer was a 30-something year old man). The first time he told me that story i got really shocked. I also remember the look on his face when he first told it. It´s one of those stories he has to be really drunk to tell, so it´s not one of his most cherished memories.

When he was 16 he stole a motorcycle belonging to some biker guy. He also claims that he slept with the bikers girlfriend.

My father is what we call in norwegian and swedish a "tater", meaning that he was romani. Because of this he had a lot of trouble getting into school. This resulted in him just lying at home smoking weed and listening to Zeppelin all day.

My mom haven´t really told me any interesting stories. She grew up with to drunken abusive parents, which resulted in her dropping out of school and moving in with her boyfriend, at only 16 years old.

[synthesis]

When my dad was 13, he and a friend went to this dealers house to score some weed. The dealer asked my dad and his friend to come follow him into his bedroom to "test the stuff" before buying it.

Two sentences in and I can already tell this story is going someplace fucked up.

[The Feral Underclass]

Mine was the Duchess of Devonshire Green.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShHQ67y33m1EGo4TtTZzmhJ6E7fUYvp Q5nCVrwe1ZmVBrf7YI5Tw

Where is this magical place?

[Hit The North]

Where is this magical place?
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/vt/data=VLHX1wd2Cgu8wR6jwyh-km8JBWAkEzU4,EmKoAN8l5V0L94Fqhek01xg-vCMXXrSG9oCRD9bDVHFKM-w3T948mKqKInV3IMkDbbMdFhgFrkt4LooUZywsSgtaPBwqO-xcv4HOpkvVrfjapbMhwqDPpLv_Kqs7ZbBHSHShdYZ_Vi_VMak

[piet11111]

My father was a worker and my mum stayed home raising their 4 kids.

The only thing i am jealous off is that at my age they where married and had their own home and their first 2 kids.

Im not a social person and sure as hell cant pay for my own place here.
So both accomplishments wont be happening any time soon but then again i like staying here.

[Rafiq]

Why use parents as a benchmark?

[Philosophos]

My father is just like yours OP: He can make ANYTHING out of nothing. He hasn't studied in any university (he actually droped school) and he can fix cars, boats, boat machines, cell phones, lights, computers, ipads, guns and the list never ends.
The only problem is that he doesn't take advantage of his incredible skills and actually most people just take advantage on him.

I even gave him an IQ test while he didn't know it. He scored 135 (54 years old that hasn't opened a single book in his life and droped school) which is pretty amazing considering I have 142 and I study all the time and challenge my brain with all sorts of stuff.

I'm basically indimidated by his potential not his current state (right winged-fascist lover *sigh* :( )

[d3crypt]

My dad is a somewhat successful actor and my mom manages a small safari company. They are comfortably married, happy, and are close to home ownership. They have me and my younger sister. They have been pretty successful, but i don't have the same type of goals as them so i feel fine. My dad is a more radical social democrat and my mom is the same. I feel like i will out achieve them for sure, being that i am only a sophomore in high school.